Nothing To Loose
by Jill2
Summary: After years of separation Angel and Buffy meet again at a friend's wedding. Both are recently divorced and Buffy has two kids.
1. Prologue: Show Me Happiness

  
Hi everybody,  
  
this is another of my stories, called "Nothing To Loose" and yeah, it's called "loose", cuz it's the title of an old Irish Folk Song! Hope you'll enjoy!  
  
  
FIC: Nothing To Loose   
Author: Jill  
Disclaimer: why do we even bother to write this, if it's so obvious! Of course I   
don't own them, so don't sue.  
Timeline: set in the future  
Feedback: oh please, yes!!!  
Dedication: to Anna-Lee, who believes in B/A as much as I do  
  
  
WARNING: CONTAINS ANGST   
  
  
Prologue: Show Me Happiness  
  
  
Sunnydale, California, 2007 (Buffy is 27); Prologue in Buffy's POV  
  
  
  
Did I ever know how it felt to be happy I wonder. Maybe I did, but I'm not sure.   
There were some precious moments I felt happy with Angel, but it's so long gone   
that it doesn't even feel real anymore.   
  
I felt happy when Ashlynn was born. My little girl. My wonderful little daughter.  
  
I don't even know why I'm thinking this today. This day is not different from all the others. I woke up beside my husband, yes I do have a husband, who would've thought. It's not Riley. His name is Brent and when we got married I was sure I loved him. I still think I do, but was I ever happy?   
  
Again those thoughts. They don't lead anywhere.   
  
Brent left the house to go to his office, he's a lawyer and earns enough money   
for a comfortable life in Sunnydale in a nice house with a white picket fence.   
Mom loves my house. But do I?   
  
Am I living her dream or mine?   
  
I dropped my daughter off at school as I do it each morning, she waved goodbye   
and her sweet little smile is wonderful. Every time I see her smile I feel tears   
in my eyes.   
  
When I came home I found Cordelia's letter and within seconds my whole life   
changed.  
  
  
End of the Prologue  



	2. Old Friends and Telephone Calls

Chapter One: Old Friends and Telephone Calls  
  
  
Sunnydale, California, 2011 (Buffy is 31)  
  
  
  
Buffy stared at the letter in her hands and sighed loudly. It was final, done,   
finished. Just a letter and almost 10 years of marriage were as if they'd never   
existed. She turned around and looked at her two year old son who was sleeping on the sofa in her new apartment in Sunnydale. Brent had kept the house, it was the way she'd wanted it. As he had wanted her to have full custody of the children. He loved his children but he knew with his busy working schedule he'd never have enough time to care for them.  
  
Now he had even sold the house and moved to Chicago where a big law firm had   
offered him a well paid position. It was his chance and Buffy couldn't really   
blame him for taking it.   
  
So she was a single mother now with two children, a retired slayer with a degree   
in psychology but no experience as she had cared for her children and with David, her little son, only two, was still not available full time.   
  
It was not that Brent wasn't giving her enough money, in fact he gave her and the children enough to live comfortably. No, money wasn't the problem. The problem was that she was restless. What had she really done with her life? She had married after graduating from college, told herself she had been in love with a smart young man only two years older.   
  
After two years she'd realised it wasn't going to work, deep inside she'd known   
it. But they'd a little girl by then and things were much more complicated. So   
they had tried again and again, even decided to have another baby... She sighed   
again, every half-way sane human being could have told that this was no solution   
for lack of love, that it wouldn't save a relationship. Of course not.  
  
Leaning her forehead against the window she stared outside. The sun was shining   
brightly and she'd never felt more alone in her life.  
  
Where was he, she wondered? Where did he live? Was he happy? Would he have any   
children? Shaking her head she walked into the kitchen. David would wake up in   
some minutes and be hungry. She had to laugh at that. Some years ago she would go out all night, hunting vampires and demons and now she was preparing food for her son. A way to end up like this, Summers!  
  
Again her thoughts wandered to a dark, good-looking man who had once been the   
center of her life. The incarnation of her dreams at times when she had any left. But life had taught her not to dream. The result was mostly to wake up in a too harsh reality.   
  
Her head snapped up when she heard the phone ring. She took the receiver Xander   
had installed for her in the kitchen. "Yeah?"  
  
"Hi Buffy!"  
  
Cordelia! Alarms went through Buffy's whole being. The last time she'd heard from the brunette ...  
  
"Buffy, are you there?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, yes, sorry. I'm just about to prepare some lunch for David. He's my   
son."  
  
Laughter came from the other end of the line, "I know who David is, Buffy. Only   
because we didn't talk for a long time it doesn't mean I don't know things. I   
sometimes talk to Xander," she explained.   
  
"Uh ..., I see," a frown appeared on Buffy's forehead. The former mayqueen was   
chatting as if they'd just seen each other yesterday. "What do you want   
Cordelia?"  
  
"Right into business as ever, aren't you," Cordelia shook her head. She didn't   
want to sound hostile. This was meant to be a friendly call. Taking a deep breath, she said, "It's about ... well ... I'm going to marry in two weeks. And I'd like you there. So ...," she made a short pause, then asked, "would you come?"  
  
"W - what?," the ex-slayer was more than only surprised, "You're going to get   
married?"  
  
"That's what I said." Cordelia began play with the napkin on the table. She and   
Buffy'd never been that close, but usually the blonde wasn't dense. "It'll be on the Sunday in two weeks."  
  
"You're sure you want me there?," Buffy asked cautiously.  
  
The former mayqueen sighed exasperantly, "God, that's what I said. Is there   
something wrong with your ears?"  
  
"Well, if you want me there ... sure."   
  
"Good," Cordelia beamed at her fiancée who was sitting across the table,   
grinning. "I'll send you a formal invitation with directions and all. See you   
then."  
  
"Cord...," Buffy wanted to ask the name of her fiancée but the former cheerleader had already disconnected the line. Frowning the ex-slayer stared at the receiver in her hand. What the hell was going on?  
  
*****  
  
"So you got her to come?," Gunn was still grinning when Cordelia shut down the   
cellular phone.   
  
She nodded, "Yes. Did you doubt I could?"  
  
"No, not really," he replied with a wink. "I think you can do almost anything."  
  
Cordelia instantly narrowed her eyes, "I hope that wasn't an insult. Don't forget you're going to marry me, buddie, you better behave."  
  
"So you left the big surprise for the celebration. Do you think that's wise?"  
  
She shrugged in response. "That's got nothing to do with wise. But Buffy is a   
coward, she's always been. She always preferred to run away from things instead of facing them. She would never admit it of course, but that's the way it is." She leaned back in her chair and sipped at the Cappuccino, "I mean think about it. There's a guy she says she loves eternally and then she just lets him go. Like this," she snipped her fingers. "She doesn't even try to fight. Does that sound brave to you?"  
  
"I cannot really say anything about Buffy, because I don't know her that well,   
but our boss might be brave when it comes to combat, when it comes to her   
though...," he trailed off.  
  
She sighed, "So very true. That's why it's up to me to get those mule-headed   
kids together." She put her cup down and threw her hands in the air, "They are   
both human now, what the hell is keeping them from each other?"  
  
"Maybe they aren't in love anymore," Gunn suggested.  
  
She laughed briefly, "Try again. Not in love anymore? That's the greatest joke.   
She just divorced her husband and his main problem was that she never really   
loved him and Angel," she shook her head, "he's still carrying her picture in his wallet and divorced his wife - if you can even call her that - after only two years. Don't make me laugh."  
  
"He didn't divorce her, she divorced him," Gunn reminded his fiancée. "Because of that little problem of his."  
  
Cordelia rolled her eyes, "Yeah, but did he fight it? No! He just let her go.   
Believe me, if he'd loved her, he never would've acted that way. If there   
would've been love, they would've made it work. Remind my words."  
  
"And now you're trying to play matchmaker," he shook his head and gulped the rest of his orange-juice. "I just hope you don't burn your fingertips."  
  
A huge grin was her response and he couldn't help but fall in love with her   
allover again when she said, "You know me. I love to play with fire. What other   
reason would have made me accept your proposal?"  
  
End Chapter One  



	3. Unexpected Meetings

Chapter Two: Unexpected Meetings  
  
  
"It's really nice of your mom to take all our children for the weekend," Anya   
smiled at the ex-slayer while her husband was driving towards L.A. "Are you sure   
she can manage with them?"  
  
"Mrs. Rosenberg has agreed to come and help," Buffy replied and ran a hand   
through her hair. "Ashlynn thought it was the greatest idea ever. Grandma is   
always allowing her to watch television in the evening. And David just loves to   
stay with my mom."  
  
"They are used to it," Xander eyed his long-time-friend through the rear mirror,   
"but does she know what she's gotten herself into by taking six children under   
10? Two of them being our deadly-duo?," he grinned at his last sentence. His and   
Anay's sons were four and three and bundles of energy.   
  
"She'll live," Buffy said mercilessly. "Maybe Matt and Mark can just torture   
Willow's and Tara's daughters."  
  
"You know," Anya frowned slightly, "usually a triangle like this would've called   
me on the plan. While I was still a vengeance demon that is."  
  
Her husband shrugged, "They are happy the way they live." Seeing the two women in the car raise their brows he said, "Okay, so I wasn't too supportive at first. The thought of Willow, Tara and Oz living happily together is something I had to get used to. But they are together for more than five years now and everything seems peachy. So why bother."  
  
"Very open-minded of you," Buffy joked and searched her purse for a mirror.   
They'd just passed the city limits of L.A. and she wanted to check her make-up.  
  
"I really never thought, Cordy would marry someone like Gunn," he changed the   
subject.   
  
"I don't know Gunn too well, I just saw him once or twice, but on the phone she   
sounded very happy," the ex-slayer replied.  
  
"She is," Xander agreed. "That's not what I mean. It's just that I expected her   
to marry someone with money, a big house, probably a film production company.   
Something along those lines. Gunn is a nice chap, but he hasn't got a lot of   
money, he's an ex-street-kid, an ex-demon-hunter." He paused for a moment and   
shook his head as if to clear his mind. "But then Cordy has changed a   
lot. There's barely anything left of Queen C."  
  
"You see her quite often." It wasn't really a question.  
  
Taking Anya's hand Xander answered it anyway, "We both do. Matt and Mark adore   
Gunn. They think he's great fun and he's never tiring when he plays with them.   
He's going to be a great father. And you should see Angel ...," he broke off,   
realising what he just had said.  
  
Buffy straightened on the rear seat, "Angel? You've seen Angel? I thought he was   
living in New York?"  
  
"He did," he replied. "He came back to L.A. a year ago."  
  
"Oh," the ex-slayer nervously licked her lips. "So you ... saw him more than   
once?"  
  
"Several times during the last year. He, Gunn and Cordelia are very close. Like a family. After all they worked together for a long time," Xander replied, cursing himself for letting the ex-vampire's name slip. But maybe it was better that way and so he added, "He'll be at the wedding too."  
  
Buffy throat instantly went dry. She should've expected it, he *was* close to   
Cordelia, as Xander had said, and she knew it, but somehow she had avoided   
thinking about it. Meeting him would be bad enough, but seeing him with another   
woman. No, not just another woman. His wife. Clearing her throat she asked, "And   
his wife? Did you meet her?"  
  
"His wife? Oh, you mean Anna. No, she isn't in L.A.," Xander answered. "She's   
still in New York. Maybe they commute, I don't know. Although it's a long   
distance if you ask me."  
  
The blonde shrugged, desperately trying to behave and sound casual, "So she might not be there?," she couldn't help the hope in her voice.  
  
"Probably not," Anya said, fetching her sunglasses and putting them on. "We   
haven't seen her once the past year and Angel never talks about her. He's nice   
though. It's great fun to talk with him about the old times."  
  
Xander quickly glanced at his wife and then exchanged an amused glance with the   
slayer through the mirror. "Are you alright with it, Buffy?," he asked after a   
moment.  
  
"Me? Sure," her answer came a bit too quick, she hoped he didn't notice. "It'll   
probably nice seeing him after so many years. And with Willow and Oz there it'll   
almost like a Scoobie-reunion."  
  
Xander looked at her again through the mirror, she had gone through a lot with   
the divorce and all. He just hoped that meeting Angel wouldn't add more pain.  
  
*****  
  
"Stop fidgeting with your tie," Cordelia scolded gently and gave Angel a warm   
smile. Who would've thought that they would ever feel like brother and sister.   
But then nothing should really surprise you when you grew up on a hellmouth.  
  
"Sorry," the ex-vampire smiled sheepishly and pushed his hands into the pockets   
of his trousers.   
  
"I know you're nervous, and I know why, but you just have to wait and see," she   
turned in front of the mirror and then looked at him. "Now, what do you think?"   
  
"Nice," he replied distractedly, staring at the ground.  
  
"You didn't even look," she shot back.  
  
His head snapped up and again his smile was rather sheepish. He sighed, "I'm   
really sorry, Cordelia. You look wonderful. Gunn will forget how to breathe."  
  
"Better not," she frowned. "He needs enough breath to say yes after all."  
  
"He will," he patted her arm. "He's head over heals in love with you, don't   
worry."  
  
She gave him a grateful smile, "Thanks. And thanks for agreeing to lead me down   
the aisle."  
  
"I'm very sorry about your parents," his eyes were full of compassion. Her   
parents had refused to come to their daughter's wedding. They didn't approve of a loser like Gunn, as her father had called him, as their future son-in-law.  
  
Cordelia shrugged and Angel was glad to see that the initial pain at her parents   
refusal had vanished from her eyes. "It's their loss. It's not as if they were   
caring for me anyway. I admit it hurt first, but this is my life now and it will   
be with Gunn, if they like it or not."  
  
"Good for you," his smile was full of approval. "Gunn is lucky to get you."  
  
"He better not forget it," she grinned and took the veil to put it on her hair.   
"That's it then," she turned again in front of the mirror. "Are you ready?"  
  
Thinking about a certain blonde he would see soon in the church, he took a deep   
breath and then nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready." But his heart was beating hard in his   
chest.  
  
*****  
  
"It's a lovely church," Willow who was sitting beside Buffy smiled at the   
ex-slayer.  
  
"Hmm.," was the only reply she got.  
  
Frowning she turned to Xander, asking him with her eyes if something had happened on their way to L.A. Her childhood friend just shrugged and shook his head in the negative. What should he tell her? He'd never told anyone that he and Anya had been meeting Angel several times. Until it had slipped in the car. Now Buffy knew, but it was not important anymore, he told himself. She would see him soon. Angel had asked Xander not to tell Buffy and he had agreed and even Anya had kept her mouth shut, which was surprising. Usually she couldn't keep a secret for more than a minute. But by talking about old times ex-demon and ex-vampire had quickly found common ground, had almost become friends. He had to chuckle at that, but then he'd seen stranger things happen.  
  
Gunn and Wesley, his best man, appeared in front of them and soon after the   
priest entered the church. Then the music began to play and two bridesmaids came   
down the aisle, Xander didn't know them, had to be some friends of Cordelia from   
L.A., he'd never seen them before.  
  
When the wedding march began all people in the church turned - all but Xander.   
He was looking at Buffy. He saw her eyes widen as soon as she recognized the man   
on whose arm Cordelia walked down the aisle. He also saw Willow's gaze fly to   
him, the expression in her eyes completely stunned, but sudden understanding   
dawned in them.   
  
He turned his head to look at Angel and he had to suppress a smile seeing the   
ex-vampire. He was leading Cordelia, but his eyes were scanning the guests. The moment he spotted Buffy he seemed to freeze and the former mayqueen had to   
squeeze his arm to keep him from stopping.   
  
Xander's and Cordelia's eyes met for a short moment and they exchanged a grin and he knew his former girlfriend had been right. The story between Angel and Buffy was far from being over.  
  
End of Chapter Two.  



	4. Revelations

Chapter Three: Revelations  
  
  
"I'm so sorry Giles couldn't make it," Willow smiled sadly at the newly married   
couple. "But he couldn't get away from London. He's in the final stage of his new book." She chuckled, "Who would've thought that Giles would end up writing   
mystery thrillers."  
  
Cordelia grinned, "Quite a change from the bookish watcher, I have to say." She   
smiled lovingly at her husband whose hand was laying loosely around her waist.   
"But I agree. I missed him. Without him, something isn't ... I dunno ... he   
just belongs here."  
  
"H-he'll be in A-america i-in t-two w-weeks," Tara said, coming to stand beside   
Willow. "P-promotion t-tour."  
  
"Really?," the former mayqueen laughed. "I bet he hates it."  
  
"Yeah," Willow laughed with her. "He's always complaining about hysterical female fans. Can you imagine Giles with women throwing themselves at his feet?"  
  
"Don't forget he was called Ripper once," Xander joined the group. They were   
all assembled at the Hyperion Hotel. It still belonged to Angel and since he'd   
moved back to L.A. he was living in it permanently. And of course he had offered   
it to the couple knowing that Gunn couldn't afford some expensive hotel for the   
reception.   
  
"Yeah," Oz agreed. "Remember the cursed candy?."   
  
Everyone laughed at the memory. "He wanted Buffy to hit everyone, especially   
Ethan Rayne," Cordelia said and looked at Gunn. "Some cursed candy bar made all   
the adults act like teenagers. Buffy's mother and Giles were all over each   
other." She suddenly broke off and scanned the hotel lobby. When her eyes found   
what they had been looking for she smiled and nodded into a certain direction.   
"Talking about our little slayer," she looked back at her friends. "I think my   
little plot already works."  
  
*  
  
They had been watching each other for a while, none of them eager to take the   
first step, but then over the cold buffet they had almost bumped into each other. Startled Buffy looked up, "Oh," nervously she licked her lips, not sure what to say.  
  
The plate Angel was holding almost slipped from his hands. "Buffy," his voice was suddenly breathless.  
  
"Angel," she replied, not feeling very strong herself. God, she was 31 years old   
but one look into his eyes and her knees turned to mush. "I ... it's nice to see   
you."  
  
"You too," he smiled and Buffy was urgently in need of a chair or she would   
embarrass herself, she thought. Now not only her knees but her whole legs were   
like jelly. This smile, so casual, so Angel, was a killer.  
  
"How are you?," they asked simultaneously.  
  
They both smiled and Angel motioned towards a sofa. Grateful Buffy nodded. As   
soon as they were seated, he said, "You go first. So how are you?"  
  
"I ...," she cleared her throat. God, he was so gorgeous. One could see he was   
older now, but that hadn't lessened his attraction, no, it was quite the opposite. He was more mature now. Stop it, she scolded herself. Stop it now, Summers. He's married and he's left you and ..., God, but he was still gorgeous. "I'm fine," she finally managed to say.   
  
"Good to hear," he smiled again, inwardly patting his own shoulder for acting so   
casual around her. She was still so very beautiful. Her eyes were so deep he   
wanted to drown in them. And her mouth ... no, he told himself. She just went   
through a painful divorce. You cannot expect her to jump right into your arms.   
But, God, her lips were the same he remembered, the same he dreamt about. "I'm   
sorry," he said. When he saw her quizzical gaze, he explained, "About your   
divorce, Cordelia told me."  
  
"Oh," she nodded in understanding, then shrugged. "It's over and done with. It   
was long overdue. We were both holding on to something that shouldn't have   
started."  
  
Angel's head snapped up, this didn't sound like a woman still longing for her   
husband. Could it be ... "You have two children, I heard," he said.  
  
"Yeah," now her face broke into a genuine smile. "Ashlynn, she is almost nine and David, he's just two. Both are wonderful children. They are with my mom this   
weekend."  
  
"You love them."  
  
It was a statement, but she nodded anyway, "Oh yes. They are my whole world.   
Funny to think I once thought demons would be all I'd care for. And you? We're   
only talking about me. How are you?" Her eyes quickly scanned the lobby, then   
were back on him, "Where's your wife? I was looking forward to meet her."   
Summers, you should've become an actor, she thought. It almost sounded as if you   
meant it.  
  
"Anna? No, she isn't here," he replied and sipped from his champagne. "She isn't   
even my wife anymore. We were divorced more than a year ago."  
  
Buffy's eyes widened and she quickly took a bite from her sandwich to win a little time to think about these news. He was divorced! Not married! No wife! He was free! Stop that! You're acting ridiculously. You haven't seen him for years. "So you weren't married that long." Hearing him laugh without humour she realised she'd said it aloud and wanted to bite her tongue for it.  
  
"No," he shook his head. "We wanted different things from life. Our wedding was   
... a bit in a rush. We ... I wasn't thinking clearly at that time," he admitted   
averting his eyes. How could he tell her that he'd married Anna because he   
couldn't have the woman he really wanted. Because she was already taken and   
expecting her second child. Because he had wanted to prove himself he was able to live without her. And had failed miserably. The reason Anna finally had used to file the divorce had only been an excuse.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said and touched his hand with hers. It went through her like a   
bolt. Touching him was like coming in contact with electricity and quickly she   
pulled her hand back. Their eyes met for a moment, but his were unreadable. Damn   
that centuries of self-control. Even if he boils inside he appears cool. Buffy   
was sure *her* eyes were giving everything away and so she averted them quickly.  
  
"Don't be," he said and leaned back. "Anna and I," he shrugged. "We were never   
meant for each other. She's still a good friend though."  
  
"Xander told me you came back a year ago. What are you doing in L.A.?"  
  
"We've reopened the agency," he replied with a smile. "Gunn, Wesley and I. There   
aren't demons anymore since the Hellmouth is closed but that doesn't mean the bad boys are gone as well."  
  
"So you're a real PI now?," she asked and smiled back.  
  
"Yeah," he chuckled. "But Gunn's doing most of the work. I'm not really very fond of the job."  
  
A warm expression entered his eyes, "So you're mostly doing it for Gunn, right?"  
  
He shrugged, "He's good at what he's doing. I can't understand why nobody wanted   
to employ him."  
  
A warm feeling began to grow inside her chest. This was so Angel. He was doing   
this because his friend needed a job and of course he didn't want anybody to   
know. "They can be glad to call you their friend."  
  
"It's the same the other way around, they are the best friends I ever had," his   
voice was full of emotion. "They're almost ... like family." He took a deep   
breath to steady himself. Talking about family was something that still bore   
painful memories for him. More than once he had imagined how it would've felt to   
lead his real sister to her future husband. Turning back to Buffy he changed the   
subject and managed to smile, "Xander has changed a lot."  
  
"He has," she agreed. "He never told me you were back," she blurted out.  
  
"I asked him not to."  
  
"Oh," there was more than a little hurt in her eyes. He hadn't wanted her to   
know. Quickly she suppressed tears that were forming and the warm feeling inside   
of her instantly grew cold. But then what had she expected. They were like   
strangers now. Living separate lives.   
  
"Buffy," his voice was warm. "It isn't that I didn't want you to know. But Xander told me you were right in the middle of a separation, probably a divorce and I thought you didn't need any more problems in your life then."  
  
"Still making decisions for me?," she asked angrily, narrowing her eyes.  
  
"I ...," he sighed, then shook his head, "Think whatever you want. I just thought it wasn't the right moment."  
  
"Sure," she was so angry now, she couldn't stop herself anymore. "You always know what's best, right? You didn't even tell me you were going to get married. Xander had to give me the good news."  
  
"Buffy you were married yourself. You were expecting your second child. There was no need ..."  
  
"No, of course not," she jumped up, her voice rising, she didn't care that all   
the others were turning into their direction. "*You* decided to leave me, *you*   
decided you weren't good enough for me and *you* also decided that even a human   
Angel wasn't going to be enough!" Her accusing eyes were piercing into his gaze.  
  
"What ...," he swallowed hard, "...are you talking about?"  
  
"You know exactly what I'm talking about," she shouted, not able to prevent the   
tears from falling anymore. "I'm talking about 24 hours you preferred to turn   
back and steal from me. *Without* asking me first." She knew she was terribly   
unfair, but she hurt inside, all the pent up emotions were spilling over and she   
wasn't able to stop it. In this moment she didn't care if she was hurting him.   
Still, her heart clenched when she saw all colour drain from his face and he came to stand in front of her.  
  
"You...," his mouth was suddenly dry, "...you weren't supposed to remember."  
  
"Oh, and that's all you can say," she angrily wiped her tears away. "But I do. I   
do remember. When the hellmouth was closed the PTB gave the memories back to me.   
They came in a dream, but when I woke up I knew it was real."  
  
"Buffy I...," he tried to say, but she interrupted him.  
  
"You know, Angel. I really don't want to hear your explanations. Or your excuses. You were right not to tell me that you're in L.A. I wouldn't have cared anyway. You stay away from me. Do you hear. I don't care if your dead or alive. Just stay out of my life." With this she turned and stormed out of the hotel, while Gunn took his new wife's hand and whispered into her ear.  
  
"I think you just burnt yourself big time, darling."  
  
End of Chapter Three  



	5. That's What Friends Are For

Chapter Four: That's What Friends Are For  
  
  
AN: As you might have noticed, Joyce is not dead in this. I need her in here, so   
I decided to let her live, which proves again I have a better heart than Joss!  
  
  
"Exactly what I expected," the former mayqueen exclaimed when she and Gunn were   
entering the Hyperion hotel the morning after the wedding. "Didn't I tell you   
Gunn?," she elbowed him in the ribs and he almost yelled. "Just look at him!"  
  
Angel sighed and looked up from the coffee he'd been staring into. "Good Morning   
to you too, Cordelia. Hi Gunn."  
  
"Yo, Angel."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," she motioned dismissively with her hand. "And it's not a good   
morning anyway. Just look at you!"  
  
The former vampire exchanged a quick glance with Gunn, who just shrugged and went over to check the mail. He knew that nothing he'd say would be of any interest for his wife right now, so he decided to keep his mouth shut. Cordelia was on a mission and nothing would stop her.  
  
"Didn't you plan to go away for two or three days for a short honeymoon?," Angel   
asked, trying to change the subject.   
  
Gunn shrugged again, but his wife rolled her eyes, "Honeymoon, honeymoon. Who can think about something like that after the little display you two gave yesterday?"  
  
"Cordelia I already told you I was sorry...," the former vampire began but she   
held up a hand to stop him.  
  
"I really don't care about it. You don't need to apologize. What I want to know   
is what the hell happened yesterday. You were talking like good old friends and   
all of a sudden she began to shout and then just ran away." When she saw his face closing up, she walked over to him and put a hand on his arm, "Oh no. You're not just going to walk away. You already did that yesterday, but today you're going to tell me!" She planted her hands at her hips daring him to do anything but exactly what she wanted him to.  
  
Angel sighed again and thought about leaving. No, he couldn't do this. First of   
all he'd ruined Cordelia's reception yesterday and secondly they were his family. He owed them and so after closing his eyes for a short moment, he took a deep breath, "She's just angry with me Cordelia. And she has every right to be. All the things she said were true. I left her, I made the Oracles to take back the day and I decided not to tell her that I was back and divorced."  
  
"And?," she just stared at him.  
  
"What and? I kept things from her, made decisions for her. Of course she's   
angry!"  
  
Cordlia stared at him for another moment, then threw her hands in the air and   
began to pace the lobby. "I can't believe it. I simply can't believe it. Whatever did you do to her? Sure, you left her, but you did it so she could have a normal life. And she had one. I mean she married that nice-looking, smart lawyer-guy and has two nice kids. Is that something you need to feel guilty for? The answer is a big no-no in my book."  
  
"Cordelia ..." he tried, but again she stopped him by holding up her hand.  
  
"I'm not ready. Then the Day." She stopped and looked at him, "How did she find   
out anyway?" He was about to open his mouth, but she made a dismissive gesture   
and began to pace again, "Nevermind. It's not the problem, is it. So you made   
them take the day away. To save her life. *Her* life. But the selfish bitch she   
is, she never thought about you, right. If a man would do something like that for me ...," she shook her head but let it go for the moment.  
  
"And then about your divorce. She was still married then, right. So why on earth   
should you've told her you're back and free again? So," she came to stand in   
front of him and stuck a finger and poked it into his chest, "tell me, what the   
hell was so horrible about it?"  
  
A smile crossed his lips when she was finished and he quickly took her hand and   
kissed its back. "Cordelia, did I ever tell you that I love you."  
  
"No, but you didn't answer my question either." She was deeply moved by his   
words, but she couldn't let him see it at the moment. Not when she was so close   
to breaking through the wall he'd been building since yesterday.   
  
He let go of her hand and sighed again. "I'm not quite sure," he ran a hand   
through his hair. "Buffy and I ... it's complicated."  
  
"Do tell me!," Cordelia crossed her arms in front of her chest and grinned.  
  
Angel couldn't help but grin back. "Yeah okay, so you're pretty much into all of   
it. Hell, I think you're the only one who knows almost as much as I do. But   
coming back to your question. I don't know why she reacted the way she did."  
  
"And?," she repeated her question from before.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"What I mean is, what are you going to do about it?," she asked, impatiently   
tapping the fingers of her left hand on her right upper arm.  
  
"Do about it?," Angel shook his head. "Cordelia, what do you expect me to do?   
Buffy and I haven't seen each other for ... a long time. We're ... well not   
strangers, but not friends either. We might have been lovers once, but a lot   
happened in both our lives. A lot of pain on both sides. I'm not sure we can   
overcome this and I don't know if she even wants to."  
  
"Humour me!," the words were tossed at him and he saw anger flashing in her eyes. "I already told you he divorced her because he accused her of not loving him enough. Now, tell me, Mr. Wise-guy, why do you think is that?"  
  
"And I've told you that it's nonsense. She was married to him for almost 10   
years, they have two children..."  
  
She waved her hands in front of his face, "Yeah, yeah, you said that before and   
still it's bullshit. Alright they have two children. And what? You don't need to   
be in love to create a child."  
  
He didn't know how to reply to this so he just turned around to get himself some   
more coffee from the kitchen, hoping she would give him a moment's peace. But of   
course no such luck.  
  
"You can run away as much as you want. God, you two could probably beat the world record in running away from each other. But not this time, Angel. This time, I am here and I will no longer stand you all depressed and brooding. You did that enough when you still were a vampire. But now you're human and it doesn't fit to sunshine and daylight."  
  
Pouring himself another cup of coffee he said, "I know you mean it well,   
Cordelia, but maybe you're wrong this time. Maybe," he shrugged and pushed the   
sharp pain he was feeling in his heart away, "Buffy and I just aren't meant to   
be." God, it hurt to even think it, saying it loud made it almost unbearable.  
  
Codelia's heart went out for him. She didn't know anyone else who'd earned more   
to be happy, and now when there finally was a chance for them, they both refused   
to see it. Well, this time it wasn't only them anymore. This time she would take   
care of this. A grin spread across her face. Hopefully her ally in Sunnydale   
would be working on it as well.  
  
******  
  
"Hey Buffster," Xander entered Buffy's apartment with a huge smile on his face   
that grew into a grin when he saw her standing in the living-room, wearing her   
pyjamas and a pair of bunny slippers, rubbing her sleepy eyes. "You don't exactly look awake, you know."  
  
"Maybe it's because I'm tired," she replied sarcastically.  
  
He chose to ignore her comment and made his way over to the kitchen. "How about I make you some coffee. You can take a shower first and then we talk."  
  
She raised a brow, "Talk? What would we want to talk about?"  
  
He gave her a knowing glance and then pointed towards the bathroom, "Shower   
first. Then coffee and talk."  
  
"Whatever you say," she grumbled while she padded over to the bathroom. "But   
there's really nothing we need to talk about."  
  
Xander sighed and busied himself with the coffee machine. God, these two were two stubborn kids. He had to laugh at the fact he was relating to Angel as a kid. The guy could be his ancestor, but age certainly hadn't made him wiser, not if it was about matters of love. He just prayed Cordelia was right about those two and he wasn't making a fool of himself.  
  
*  
  
Twenty minutes later they were both sitting in her living room, each of them   
holding a steaming mug of coffee. The children were still at Joyce as they all   
had returned late last night.   
  
"So, are you going to tell me now what happened yesterday," Xander asked over the rim of his cup.  
  
"I don't owe you an answer," she replied defensively.  
  
"No," he sighed and put his mug down. "No, you don't. But Buffy," he waited until she was looking at him, "you are my friend. I care about you and I can see you're not happy. So, no you don't owe me any answers, but maybe you could tell me anyway and maybe, just maybe I could help."  
  
"Oh Xand," she said after a short silence and stared into her cup. "I really   
freaked yesterday, didn't I?," she looked at him unhappily. "I'm so sorry I   
ruined the party for Cordy and Gunn. But when he told me, he hadn't wanted me to   
know...," she shrugged, "something just snapped. It just blurted it out and I   
couldn't stop it anymore."  
  
"Emotions always ran high with the two of you," he tried to joke, but not even   
the hint of a smile appeared on her lips. So he tried another way, "Look, I know   
Angel messed up a lot, but he isn't a bad guy. And he really wanted to tell you   
he was back, but then Cordy told him about the problems you had with Brent and   
so... Maybe it was wrong of him, but if you'are think about it, really think,  
wouldn't it have been just one more problem for you at that point?"  
  
Buffy narrowed her eyes at him, "Since when did you join the Angel fan-club? No   
more Dead Boy-jokes and calling him a jerk, all of a sudden it's like 'Angel is   
the best of my bestest buds'?"  
  
Xander shrugged at her comment, "Maybe I'm just a grown-up now or maybe I've only now had an opportunity to really get to know him and realised he isn't half-bad. He had it pretty rough Buff, I think most of us wouldn't have managed to get through the things he's mastered. Maybe you should take the time and talk to him, maybe then you'll understand him better."  
  
Anger flashed in her eyes, "But that's exactly the point. *He* never talked to   
me. It was always like hey honey, I think that's best for you honey, bye honey.   
The only time we really talked was on a day that wasn't even real and that I   
didn't remember for years. And even then he took it away from me!" Angrily she   
wiped a single tear away that had escaped her eye.  
  
He looked at he for a long moment, "I don't exactly know what you're talking   
about, a day that he took away from you? But that's not the point here, is it?   
The point is that you are both free now and both human, both not hunting demons   
anymore. The point is, do you still want to be with him? You should better think   
about it soon, because you've already wasted too much time in my book."  
  
End of Chapter Four.  



	6. Mothers and Plans

Chapter Five: Mothers and Plans  
  
  
"Hi honey," Mrs. Summers greeted her daughter when she entered the house at   
Robello Drive the same afternoon.  
  
"Mom," came Ashlynn's voice from upstairs.   
  
"Momma, momma," David came running from the living-room and hurled himself into   
his mother's arms.   
  
"Hi my darling," Buffy scooped him up and hooked him to her hip. "I swear you   
have grown in that one day."  
  
David giggled, then yawned. Joyce smiled at her daughter and her grand-child.   
"He's tired, because he's late for his nap. Do you want to take him with you now   
or maybe we get him to bed and have a cup of tea first?"  
  
"Yeah, I'd like that," her daughter replied. "I'm going to put him into his bed   
and say hello to my daughter who didn't even try to be glad I'm back." Her voice   
was rising, but there was a smile in it.  
  
"I *am* glad you're back," came Ashlynn's voice from the stairs. "But Grandma   
gave me a new Barbie-doll yesterday."  
  
"Mom," Buffy shot her mother a look, but she just shrugged.   
  
"So sue me! I love to spoil them."  
  
The ex-slayer sighed, "So I see, well, I just get rid of that little bundle here   
and be back to talk."  
  
*  
  
Ten minutes later over a cup of tea and biscuits Buffy eyed her mother   
critically, "You look tired."  
  
Joyce grinned and nodded, "Yeah, I am. Six little children are quite a hand-full. But I'm not complaining. It was great fun too. And Sheila Rosenberg was here the whole day, so it wasn't too bad. She seems pretty cool now with her daughter's living-arrangement."  
  
"You mean compared to the fact that she almost had a heart-attack when she first   
heard about it?," Buffy grinned.  
  
"Well, it was quite a shock. I mean, two women living with one man and all of   
them sharing a sexual relationship isn't the ordinary."  
  
"No, I guess not, but it's not that it hasn't happened before," the ex-slayer   
smiled. "And they are happy together. All of them, especially the kids. So who   
are we to judge it?"  
  
"Yeah," Joyce agreed. Taking another sip from her cup she suddenly said, "Anya   
got the two boys this morning. She told me you met Angel in L.A."  
  
Her daughter nodded slowly, "Yeah, I did. It was quite a surprise. He was leading Cordy down the aisle."  
  
"Anya already told me that. She also said you had a fight."  
  
Buffy groaned, "Maybe I should just send a global e-mail, but then Anya is almost as effective."  
  
"Honey, she cares for you."  
  
"And loves to spread news," the younger blonde shot back. "So yeah, I met Angel   
and we talked and then I freaked. He told me he was divorced and was living in   
L.A. for almost a year and then he said he didn't want me to know, because he   
thought I had enough on my mind a year ago."  
  
"And that wasn't so?," Joyce asked almost casually.  
  
"What is this today? You're in his fan-club too?," she looked at her mother the   
same way she had at Xander only hours ago. What the hell was going on?  
  
"No, I'm not in his fan-club and you should know it. But I also saw that my   
daughter who I thought was finally happily married and free of all this demon   
stuff, was never completely happy."  
  
"How would you know?," Buffy snapped. "I was living your dream, wasn't I?"  
  
"Oh honey," Joyce leaned over to her and took her daughter's hand. "I never   
wanted you to marry a man just to make me happy."  
  
"You almost jumped through the ceiling when I told you I was going to marry   
Brent," the ex-slayer argued. "Your smile was so broad, I thought your face would split."  
  
Sighing, her mother let go of her hand and leaned back. "I know. But I was so   
afraid. Now that you have children of your own you can surely understand what it   
meant to know that my daughter was risking her life night after night. I had   
problems to deal with it and somehow Angel represented all the things I hated.   
Only later, after he had left you I realised how much he really cared for you and that we both wanted the same for you."  
  
"A normal life, kids, a loving husband, a picket fence?," Buffy's voice was still angry. "Well, I've got normal now, I have two kids, I even had a picket fence for a while, just the husband was all wrong. I couldn't love him enough and Brent felt it and ...," her voice broke and tears began to fall. She jumped up, pressed a fist in front of her mouth, and stared out of the window.   
  
"Honey...," Joyce began, but her daughter held a hand up to stop her. So she just watched the back of her daughter sadly, watched as Buffy desperately tried to regain control over her emotions.  
  
Then she suddenly turned around and wiped the tears away, "He left me. Angel left me, he said it wasn't going to work. He even turned back time and let me go   
again. But do you know what hurt most? He became human four years ago and didn't   
even tell me. He never called, he never came, I was just not important enough to   
know. Cordelia told me in a letter.  
  
"He didn't care anymore. If he'd called ...," she sniffed and searched her purse   
for a tissue, "Brent and I were at a breaking point right then. But when ... when he didn't tell me and I realised, I wasn't important enough for him anymore, I desperately clung to my marriage, so we had David and tried again, but of course it was all in vain.  
  
"And on top this he just turned to another woman and married her. God dammit,"   
she pushed the tissue back into her purse, closed it and threw it on the sofa.   
"He became human and only a year later he marries the next best chick. And he   
never told me." She began to sob, "H-he n-never t-t-told me. Oh Mom!"  
  
Joyce was up in an instant and gathered her daughter in her arms. Her tiny frame   
shaking with the heavy sobs and Mrs. Summers tried to hold her as tightly as   
possible to show her she felt with her. "Buffy, darling. Shhh," she tried to   
comfort her. "It's okay, please don't cry, it'll all be better soon."  
  
"I d-don't know, Mom," she cried against Joyce's neck. Then she pulled back and   
got her tissue from the purse again to wipe her face. "It hurt. God, it hurt so   
much when I realised he didn't care anymore. I was still in love with him and he   
didn't care."  
  
"And you're sure of it?," her mother asked doubtfully.  
  
"It pretty much looked like it. And even yesterday. He was so cool, all relaxed   
and smiling, I wanted to get a reaction from him, any ...," she broke off and   
stared at the ground.  
  
"You mean you wanted to know if he still cared?"  
  
She nodded miserably without looking at her mother. "Yeah, I guess," she   
whispered. "I behaved horribly, mom. I shouted at him. And then I just ran away." She sighed and sat down again, taking her cup. "Xander said, I should talk to him again." She looked up and met her mother's gaze. "What do you think?"  
  
Joyce smiled, "Is it really important what I think? The question should be, how   
important is it for you?"  
  
*****  
  
"I'm telling you, Cordy, I'm not sure about Buffy. I really tried my best, but   
...," Xander trailed off.   
  
"They're both the most stubborn people I know," Cordelia said on the other end of the line and ignored when she saw Gunn grinning at her. "Angel insists he's only going to hurt her if he goes to her." She sighed, "Oh hell, Xand. They are so right for each other."  
  
"Oh really?," he replied.  
  
"Okay. So I wasn't supportive all of the time - not that you've been a fan of the Buffy and Angel live happily ever after - I, well ... I was angry with her, but only because every time he saw her I had to pick up the pieces in which she left him."  
  
"It wasn't easy for her either," Xander didn't like that Cordelia was laying all   
the blame on Buffy.  
  
"But there was always a reason," she said after a moment of silence. "He was a   
vampire, his soul was more than only a little in danger every time she was around, so there were solid arguments against it. But they are gone. Long gone. All that's keeping them from each other now is their stubbornness."  
  
"Don't forget all the pain and heartache and issues and ...,"   
  
"Yeah, yeah," Cordelia interrupted him. "I know all of this. But I have sworn to   
get them back together and I'm not backing out now. And you have promised to   
help," her voice held a warning note.  
  
"And I'm keeping my promise. We just have to find another opportunity to get them together. Now that she has shouted at him it can oonly become better. Or that's what I hope at least."  
  
"What about your son's birthday next weekend. Buffy will be there anyway I   
suppose and I could bring Angel," the former may-queen suggested.  
  
"I thought you said, he wouldn't go near her again."  
  
  
He heard a chuckle on the other end of the line and then she said, "That's what I said, but I left out that there's someone even more stubborn than Buffy and Angel and that of course is me."  
  
End of Chapter Five.  



	7. I've Got You Under My Skin

  
Chapter Six: I've Got You Under My Skin  
  
Buffy closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the pillow. It was already dark outside. Years ago she would've gone out to hunt vampires, but those times were long gone. She chuckled slightly, was she actually missing slaying? God, she was pathetic. All her time as a slayer she had tried to escape her fate and now ...  
  
She sighed and turned on her right side. Ashlynn and David were fast asleep.   
Tomorrow was Mark's fourth birthday and especially David needed a good night's   
rest to get through such an exciting day.   
  
Ever since Xander had told her that Cordelia would bring Angel with them she had   
been nervous. A laugh escaped her throat thinking about the broken glasses and   
cups in the kitchen that had slipped from her hands during the last days. Her   
attempts of pushing the thoughts away had been useless. Ever since she'd seen him in L.A. he was on her mind, not that he'd ever not been before, but now the meeting was so fresh, now that she'd seen him as a human for the first time - not counting the day he turned back - her thoughts were running wild.  
  
Xander had talked to her again. Explained her what she was throwing away by   
avoiding him, Xander of all people! She'd talked to Willow, her most trusted   
friend and the former witch and computer programmer had only smiled at her. "Do   
you really need to ask for my opinion in this? Buffy, I always thought you were   
meant for each other," had been her comment. Somehow everyone she knew had joined Angel's fan-club. Even Spike. She smiled thinking about the man. He was human now too. Helping the slayer in the last battle he'd earned his redemption as well and was now running the Bronze.   
  
When she'd told him about Angel, he had looked deeply into her eyes and then a   
smile had crept over his face. "So you and Angel, huh?" At her angry look he had   
started to laugh. Damn him. "Humour me, slayer" - he was the only one still   
calling her that - "you and the great Poof belong to each other like Laurel and Hardy, so try again." She'd stormed away from him only to hear him laugh out loud.   
  
But it made her thinking. Tara had said she was running away from him because she was afraid and after denying it at the beginning Buffy finally had to admit the former wicca was right. After all the things that had gone wrong in her life she wasn't sure if she could risk her heart again. Because opening up to Angel   
would be exactly that. With Angel there was no half-way, she was old enough not   
to lie to herself - with Angel it would be all or nothing.   
  
Half-way, like being good friends, would've been nice, but even those few minutes in his hotel sitting beside him had made it completely clear. The desire she felt for him was as strong as ever. So friendship or a casual affair was out of the question. That left two possibilities. Nothing, which would be safe and certainly not affecting her heart. Which would mean staying away from him as far as possible. Or all - just close your eyes and jump. She would've to risk   
everything.   
  
The question was, was she ready for it?  
  
****  
  
Angel wasn't sleeping either. With open eyes he lay on his bed and stared at the   
ceiling. He was going to Sunnydale tomorrow and that meant he would be seeing her again. He had tried to argue with Cordelia but of course he'd known it was in vain. Gunn's smirk had told him all when he had started to explain why this   
wasn't a good idea.   
  
The former mayqueen was obsessed with the idea of bringing him and Buffy   
together and whatever argument he gave her, she wiped everything away with a   
motion of her hand or had just laughed into his face. "Hahaha, try again Angel,   
maybe you can convince me then" or "You're certainly the only one who actually   
believes this". When he'd been looking at Gunn for help, his friend hand only   
held up his hands and shook his head with a grin. No use to try to convince   
Cordelia when she had set her mind on something.  
  
So after two days Angel had just sighed and given in. He was awarded with a   
bright smile and a firm hug. "I knew you'd come to your senses." He only hoped he wasn't making the biggest fault in his life.  
  
It had been more than obvious that Buffy didn't want him around. And the last   
thing he wanted was crowding her. He'd caused her enough heartache and pain to   
last for three lives and he wasn't going to be the cause of even more.   
  
There was no doubt on his side that he loved her. There had never been a choice   
in it. When it came to Buffy, there was nothing he had to doubt. He had loved her since that bright sunny afternoon in L.A. all these years ago and with time his feelings had only become deeper and more true. Denying it by marrying Anna had been a big fault, his only comfort was that his ex-wife hadn't loved him any more than he had her. Sexual attraction had drawn them to each other and as soon as it had faded - and it had been very soon - nothing had been left.   
  
First she had wanted to save their marriage - God knew why, maybe because she   
never liked to lose - by getting pregnant. But when this hadn't worked the way   
she'd intended it, she had filed for a divorce. And he had just said yes. No   
fight, no bad words, no deep feelings involved. That was the reason they were   
still friends. They were calling each other regularly and Anna was now married   
to a guy from New York, she seemed to love. Angel had wished her luck and even   
attended her wedding six months ago.   
  
He had never told her about Buffy, but she had known. It had been two weeks after they had been married. They had been lying in their bed and out of the blue she'd asked him, "Who is she?" When he hadn't answered, she'd sighed and said, "I see, it's that serious. My poor Angel."  
  
She couldn't even guess half of it. He'd never told her about him having been a   
vampire. It had never been important enough. She'd been a desperate attempt to   
get over Buffy, nothing more.   
  
The day the former slayer had married Brent Angel had found a demon and beaten him into a bloody pulp before decapitating him. He'd been brooding for weeks. When Cordelia had told him, Buffy was pregnant, he'd just turned away and not left his bed for two days.  
  
Then shortly after he'd become human Cordelia had hinted there were signs that   
her marriage wasn't that good, he had started to hope only to get his heart   
shattered by getting the news of her second pregnancy. Only four weeks later he'd married Anna in Las Vegas.  
  
None of his friends had any idea what Buffy meant to him. It wasn't just that he   
was in love with her. It was one part, he was in love with her, truly, madly,   
deeply, desperately. But she'd also been his reason for fighting the good fight.   
For existing, for struggling through all and getting his Shanshu. Wolfram & Hart, Darla, Drusilla, The Day the Oracles turned back, the men she had been with while he could only stay away and watch, he had endured everything with her smiling face in his mind only to realise that it could never be.   
  
It had been hard all the years while he was a vampire with a soul, but he had   
known it couldn't be. All of sudden he was human and still she was unreachable.   
He had been irrationally angry with her, but of course it hadn't been her fault.   
He had left her after all to find exactly what she had. And for all that Cordelia told him, Brent seemed to be a nice guy and they were getting along fine.   
  
And now he had met her again. And he would meet her tomorrow. Cordelia insisted   
that Buffy was still in love with him. But the question was would she risk her   
heart again?  
  
He took a deep breath and turned on his left side, cupping his face in one hand.   
Well, it was for him to make her believe they could make it work this time.   
Maybe, just maybe she'd give him a second chance.   
  
If not ... he just hoped his heart would survive it.  
  
End of Chapter Six.  



	8. Birthday Cakes

Chapter Seven: Birthday Cakes  
  
  
"Keep your little hands from the chocolate cake, do you hear me ... oh, Buffy,   
Ashlynn, David, hi," Anya turned around as soon as she'd seen who was at the door and hurried back to the kitchen, where she arrived just in time to prevent Matt from crawling onto the table to taste his brother's birthday cake. The boy cried in protest but his mother ignored him and put him down on the floor with a firm but gentle hand. Matt was more than a year younger than his brother and his lower lip began to tremble at the unfairness of life. There was something wonderful on the table and he couldn't understand why he had to wait for it.  
  
Anya saw her son's expression and gave him a motherly smile, "Oh Mattie, you'll   
get something later on, I promise. Now go. Aunt Buffy has arrived and she's   
brought David."  
  
Hearing the name of his best friend - his brother didn't count, because ever   
since Mark had understood that he would be four soon and for that *much* older he behaved as if his little brother was nothing to be bothered with anymore - so   
hearing about the arrival of David, Matt's face brightened and with a squeal he   
ran from the kitchen almost colliding with Buffy's son. The two little boys   
grinned at each other and then disappeared towards Matt's room.   
  
Laughing and shaking her head Buffy entered the kitchen, "You have all my   
admiration, Anya. How do you manage to handle two of them and not go insane? For   
me David is enough, he's always so ... so active, when he isn't sleeping of   
course. I'm really grateful Ashlynn is almost nine and beyond the worst age.   
Sometimes she even likes to watch her brother."  
  
The former demon shrugged but grinned, "Maybe I'm used to it. But I wouldn't   
exchange them for the world. Just to think that for 1100 years I thought vengeance is the perfect job for me."  
  
"Children really change perspectives, don't they," Willow said from the doorway.   
She and her life-partners had arrived ten minutes ago.  
  
"You can say that," Buffy nodded, glad that Cordelia and with her a certain   
ex-vampire didn't seem to be around yet. She hadn't slept much the last night -   
and needed hours to make herself presentable - and for this there had been too   
much time to think about Angel for her comfort. The problem was, she still wasn't sure what to do. Not that she actually knew what he wanted, not from his mouth anyway.  
  
"Mark seems to feel very grown up today," Willow interrupted her thoughts.  
  
"Oh yeah," Anya grinned again. "And is driving everyone crazy with it, especially his brother. For about a week he's like 'you don't know that, you little boy'. At the beginning Matt cried, yesterday he hit his brother."  
  
Buffy laughed, "They're really great kids," and with a wink towards the former   
witch she added, "Who would've thought that Xander would be able to produce   
something like that."  
  
"Hey," the former demon protested in mocked annoyance. "It's my husband you are   
talking about. And besides, they have 50% from me!"  
  
"That explains everything," Willow said and somehow kept a straight face. Rubbing her belly she smiled, "Talking about kids. I'm going to have another one."  
  
"Willow!," Buffy hugged her best friend. "That's wonderful."  
  
"Yeah," Anya agreed and gave the red-head a genuine smile.   
  
"Thanks, we think the same. Tara and Oz are happy too. They can barely wait to   
see the first ultrasound pictures." The beam lit her whole face. It was certainly an unconventional relationship the three of them shared, but the radiant expression on Willow's face told everyone they were more than happy about it.   
  
Buffy was about to ask how she would manage to continue her business and a new   
baby when the doorbell rang. The ex-slayer tensed immediately and she gave Willow a grateful smile when the red-head took her hand and squeezed it. "It's going to be okay," she whispered. Buffy took a deep breath. Come on Summers, she told herself, you can do this.  
  
***  
  
Xander grinned at Cordelia, Gunn, and Angel who stood a bit behind the others, and shifted the little girl he was holding to hook her on his hip. "Hi," he greeted them. "This is Ellie," he introduced the girl to the ex-vampire who'd never seen her so far. "She's Willow's. Come in, come in," he stepped back and closed the door when his guests had entered.   
  
"Everyone's already there," he explained. "So be aware of little feet and hands", he warned while he leading them towards the living-room where Oz and Tara were playing with the other kid of the trio. "And that's Amy." He put Ellie on her father's lap and turned to the three from L.A. "I think with this ... oh, I forgot," he smiled when he saw a blonde head looking around the corner. "This is Ashlynn," he pointed at the door. "She is Buffy's daughter."  
  
Angel turned slowly and still he wasn't prepared for this smaller edition of the   
woman he loved. Ashlynn was a beautiful girl and you could already see she would   
be the image of her mother. Her hazel eyes were bright and smiling, her blonde   
curls had the same length as Buffy's when he'd first met her.   
  
Angel swallowed hard and quickly glanced at Cordelia whose hand was laying on his arm comfortingly. She gave him an understanding smile and he had problems to   
suppress the tears welling up in his eyes. She was all he had ever dreamt of and   
the emotions overwhelmed him. She wasn't his daughter of course, but somehow that wasn't important at all. She was Buffy's and just for this he loved her.  
  
"Hi Ashlynn," he greeted chokingly.   
  
"Hi," she smiled back and then with a question in her eyes turned towards Xander.  
  
"This is Angel, Ashlynn, he's a friend of your...," mother he had started to say, but suddenly his voice became much warmer and he said instead, "he is a friend. Our friend."  
  
A giggle escaped the girl's mouth, "Your name is really Angel?," she asked.  
  
The former vampire managed a nod, he was beyond words. Xander's last statement   
had done the rest to make his throat tighten with emotions.  
  
"Nice," she commented. "I have to go now, see you later?"  
  
"Sure," he replied, glad his voice was working again.   
  
"Now," Xander rubbed his hands. "Everyone is here and I'm really hungry. Aren't   
you Mark?," he turned towards his son, who was sitting on a huge chair and   
smiling royally, perfectly aware of the fact that this was his day. So he   
suppressed a squeal of delight by the thought of chocolate cake and just nodded.  
  
Xander bit his cheek when he exchanged a glance with the adults in the room   
and saw Tara press a fist on her mouth to stop a giggle. "Anya, honey. We're all   
here now. How about the cake," he asked walking towards the kitchen.  
  
"Coming soon," she replied. "We don't need you. Willow and Buffy are with me in   
here and I have enough hands." There was a hidden warning in the words and   
turning back to his friends Xander explained, "She's always afraid I'm going to   
taste the cake. Me and Matt are much alike in this. Speaking of the younger   
Harris," he looked around, then remembered he'd seen two boys disappear just   
before, "Matt, David, it's time for the cake!"  
  
Only seconds later two little bundles came racing into the living-room, one   
stopped dead in tracks seeing the strangers there, the other hurled himself into   
Angel's arms. "Uncle Angel, uncle Angel," he squealed in delight. Over the past   
year the ex-vampire had become one of his favourite grown-ups. Seeing his best   
friend so friendly with the dark-haired man, David cautiously stepped closer.  
  
Mark narrowed his eyes from his spot on the chair, "It's not your birthday you   
know," he hissed at his brother.  
  
Matt stuck out his tongue, but otherwise ignored his older brother completely.   
The situation was saved as the Anya, Buffy and Willow entered the room with the   
cake and plates.   
  
"Hi," the former demon just said while Willow gave the newly arrived guests a   
warm smile. Buffy nodded at Gunn and Cordelia but avoided looking at Angel,   
suddenly wishing she was anywhere but here.   
  
She felt his presence in every fiver of her body and wasn't so sure anymore that   
she could survive the day without embarrassing herself again. And this time it   
was even worse because today her children were here and she didn't want them see   
her mother screaming and running away.  
  
"Hi Buffy," Cordelia raised an eyebrow at the ex-slayer's attitude but didn't   
comment it.   
  
"Cordy, I thought you'd be on a honeymoon by now," she replied wincing slightly   
at the harsh sound of her voice. Nice move, Summers, show everyone how much this   
affects you. Get a hold on yourself, you're 31 years old. But there was no way to deny it. With Angel around she felt like 16 allover again.   
  
The former vampire immediately sensed how uncomfortable she was around him and   
busied himself with Matt who was smiling happily. "How are you partner?," he   
asked and tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. She was so near, he   
could almost reach out and touch her, but she'd never seemed more away from him   
as right in this moment. Why on earth had he allowed Cordelia to convince him to   
come? He should've known that it would only distress Buffy. It couldn't have been more clear that she didn't want him around. But it was too late now. He couldn't just leave, Matt was excited about his visit and that alone was enough even if he would forget about the fact that Cordelia and Gunn wouldn't have a car for the drive back if he'd go now.   
  
He closed his eyes for a second, then took a deep breath, summoned all his   
strength, plastered a smile on his face and took the plate Willow handed him.  
  
End of Part Seven.  



	9. Taking Chances

Chapter Eight: Taking Chances  
  
  
"Anyone coffee?," Anya looked around and when she saw them all nod she stood and   
disappeared in the kitchen.   
  
Mark had unwrapped his presents and all the chocolate remains had been washed   
from the children's faces. Now David and Matt were sleeping together with Ellie   
and Amy, while Mark had insisted that now - being a year older and almost grown   
up - he would stay awake and play with Ashlynn what the girl had acknowledged   
with a groan. She was really not looking forward to play with a "baby".   
  
During unwrapping presents and eating cake the adults had chatted, of course not   
about stories from times when demons and vampires had been roaming the earth as   
long as the children were around, but there were other things, stories of the   
kids, of families, husbands and more. Buffy had laughed and smiled and ignored   
him.  
  
Angel felt left out. Sure the others - except Buffy - did their best to include   
him, but he couldn't help but feel he didn't belong here. So he had smiled from   
time to time, even laughed sometimes, but now that the children had left the   
room he was surprised none of the others could see the tension radiating from   
him. To get away for a moment he excused himself for the bathroom and breathed   
deeply in relief when he closed the door behind his back.   
  
Leaning against the door he closed his eyes and tried to relax. He had to get   
out of here, away from Buffy, the sooner the better. He would just go back into   
the living-room and explain that he'd forgotten all about an urgent date and that he had to get back to L.A. in time. Yes, that was a good idea, he nodded to   
himself and with this firmly in his head opened the door.   
  
On his way back he heard Anya clattering with cups in the kitchen and maybe it   
was his 18th century upbringing, but he couldn't just pass by and not ask if she   
needed any help. So instead of directly walking towards the living-room, he   
turned for the kitchen only to freeze in the doorway.  
  
"Can I ... Buffy," he said staring at the blonde standing at the coffee machine.  
  
She turned and looked at him, but didn't say a word.   
  
"I ... I'm sorry, I ... I thought it was Anya ..., sorry," he murmured and was   
about the leave when her voice stopped him.  
  
"Angel, wait."   
  
Slowly he turned back to her, not sure what to say and then decided for "I am   
really sorry." When she didn't interrupt him, he continued, "I didn't mean to   
make you uncomfortable, you have to believe me. But Cordelia and Xander, both,   
insisted I had to come. I knew it was a fault. But I was about to leave anyway.   
So ...," he swallowed, "... don't worry, I won't get you in another situation   
like this. After all you made it perfectly clear last time we saw each other that you don't want me around."  
  
"Oh, Angel." Her reply was somewhere between a laugh and a sob. She shook her   
head, "Last time ... I was just surprised, angry ... I don't know. I said a lot   
of things. Maybe it's because I got my final divorce papers only two weeks before and hated the fact that I made a mess of my marriage," she shook her head again, "I don't know. But believe me that I didn't mean half of it."  
  
He winced slightly thinking at her outburst, "So you meant the other half?," he   
tried to joke.  
  
One corner of her mouth twitched at his remark, "Yeah, well, there's some   
unresolved issues between the two of us, you cannot deny that."  
  
"No," he said with a sigh. "Certainly not."  
  
"But that's," she motioned around with her hand, "not the place to talk about it. And, well...," she bit her lower lip. "I thought a lot about you ... us ... since I ran from the hotel last week. Angel," she studied his face for a moment and then decided to jump into the cold water. The whole afternoon she had watched him with her friends, with the children. He had changed so much, he was laughing, he was joking but the longer the day went the more quiet he'd become. And now she wondered if it was for her. She had pushed him away in L.A. and now it was for her to make the first step, and she had suddenly decided that he was worth the risk. "What I want to know is, what do you want from me?"  
  
The question hit him completely unprepared. He had expected a lot, but certainly   
not this bluntness. "What ...," he had to clear his throat, because his voice was only a choke, "what do you mean?"  
  
"What I mean?," she laughed slightly and then just blurted out, "I mean are you   
still interested in me? Because I have to know that. Because I still can't think   
straight when you're around, because my knees turn to mush when you are near and   
I decided last night that trying to be friends won't work for us. At least not   
from my side. So it's all or nothing and I want to know what you want." She   
paused for a moment, then turned away and groaned, "And now I've completely   
embarrassed myself."  
  
"No," he replied softly, but didn't move, too afraid this was just a dream. "No   
you have not. But you see me stunned. I mean after L.A. I was sure there wasn't a chance that ... and now you ...," he paused helplessly and looked at her.   
  
Taking a deep breath she turned to him again, "Just blame it on me," she smiled.   
"I'm really sending out mixed signals."  
  
"Buffy," the way he said her name made her heart beat faster. "I know you are   
scared and uncertain and ... hell, these are my feelings as well. We haven't seen each other for a long time. We lived different lifes, but ... Maybe if you would allow me to see you, if we could talk and get to know each other again ... All I want is to try to show you that it could work between us." He paused and   
swallowed, seeing the uncertain look on her face, "But I also understand if you don't want it. I've already been the cause of enough pain in your life, so I ..."  
  
"Yes," she interrupted him.   
  
"What?," was this his voice that sounded so breathless?  
  
"I ...," she blinked away the tears forming in her eyes, "I would like that.   
Seeing you, talking to you." Then a stern expression appeared in her eyes,   
"there's a lot we have to talk about."  
  
"Yeah," he agreed.   
  
"And there a many things you have to explain to me."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So," for the first time a smile crept upon her lips, "why don't you just come   
around for lunch tomorrow. David will be home, but taking a nap and Ashlynn's at a friend tomorrow afternoon. So we won't be almost on our own. That is, if you don't have anything else to do."  
  
"No," he replied quickly, the excitement clearly audible in his voice. They both   
had to laugh at that and Angel realised that he was blushing.  
  
"It's nice," she pointed at his face. "Colour in your face. It's unfamiliar to   
me. I still remember you all pale and timeless," her voice sounded sad.  
  
"That's just one of the things we can talk about. Tomorrow." He gave her a   
half-smile. "And I'd like to get to know your kids ... Only if you're alright   
with it of course."  
  
"Sure," she nodded. "You're good with kids. Matt adores you and Ellie was already flirting with you."  
  
"She was not," he replied.  
  
"Was too," she insisted. "But that's not surprising. You're still the most   
attractive man I know ... uhm ... I mean ...," she broke off and looked to the   
ground.  
  
"And you're still the most beautiful woman I know," he said softly taking away   
her embarrassment.  
  
Her head shot up, "Really?" It was suddenly very important that this was true.  
  
"Really," he nodded honestly and she knew he meant it.   
  
Their gazes locked and they stared at each other, drinking in each others eyes.   
It had been so long that they had been allowed to do this without feeling it   
was something forbidden.   
  
Then they both broke eye-contact, realising that this wasn't the time and place   
to go any further and that it was too much, too soon. Smiling a bit sheepishly at him, Buffy said, "So tomorrow then?"  
  
"Tomorrow." He confirmed and smiled back.  
  
*  
  
In the hallway Xander and Cordelia stood grinning at each other. The former   
cheerleader held up and hand, "Give me five partner. I think it's working fine   
now."  
  
"I just hope you are right and nothing goes wrong this time, because I'm not sure they could stand it," he said and prayed that whatever gods were listening would held their hands over Buffy and Angel.  
  
  
End of Chapter Eight.  



	10. Can I Trust You With My Heart?

  
Chapter Nine: Can I Trust You With My Heart?  
  
  
When Angel finally stood at Buffy's doorstep the next day, his heart was beating   
frantically in his chest and he was so nervous he didn't know where to put his   
trembling hands. This is just a friendly date, he told himself, but of course it   
was in vain. And whom was he kidding anyway, this was about seeing Buffy and that made it the most important date in his life. It could probably decide his future.   
  
Cordelia had smiled at him before she and Gunn had gone away for five days. Gunn   
had insisted on the honeymoon and simply declared he would go on his own and that Angel was a grown-up man who could handle his love-life on his own. So she had grumpily agreed, but hadn't gone off without telling Angel that she would hunt him down if he should mess this up.   
  
Taking a deep breath he reached out and pressed the doorbell at Buffy's apartment and soon her voice was to be heard from the inside, it sounded stern and then the door opened. She smiled at him, her face a bit flushed, "Oh, hi Angel. You're early." She glanced over her shoulder.  
  
Not really knowing what to think about it, Angel took a step back, "I ... uh ...   
can come later if you'd prefer..."  
  
"No," she opened the door a bit wider and shook her head, "no need. I just try to get my son to take his nap and he isn't very cooperative today." She pointed at her hair, "Just look at me, I'm a mess. The bath he took some minutes ago was   
more like a water-fight. But do come in."  
  
When he entered the apartment he saw David's face appear behind Buffy and the boy giggled.   
  
Buffy spun around and held up a finger, "You go now, young man or we will have a   
problem with each other."  
  
"Momma," his voice was pleading. "I'm no tired."  
  
"That's not tired but you will go to bed anyway." She pointed towards his   
bedroom, "Now!"  
  
"Momma, please," he pouted and looked at Angel, hoping the new guest, the man he   
had already seen yesterday would make all the difference. He was Matt's friend   
and David liked him as well, so maybe ...  
  
"Sorry partner," Angel gave him an apologetic smile, "but this is with your mom."  
  
"Go, now," Buffy repeated.   
  
When his bottom lip began to tremble, the ex-vampire said, "What if I would read   
you a story while your mom makes some coffee for us," he quickly glanced at the   
blonde to see if she was okay. Relieved he realised she was smiling.  
  
"Yeah," David squealed happily. "Okay momma?"   
  
"Yes, okay," she agreed. "But one story only. Is that clear?"  
  
"Come on, partner, one story. Show me the way." Giving Buffy a quick grin he   
followed David into the bedroom and looking at his retrieving back the former   
slayer suddenly knew that she'd fallen in love with him all-over again.  
  
*  
  
"You're even better with kids than I thought," Buffy smiled at Angel over the rim of her cup. "David usually needs some time to open up to strangers."  
  
The ex-vampire shrugged, "I like children."  
  
"Yeah, one can see that. So," she made, changing the subject. "Cordy and Gunn are off on their honeymoon?"  
  
"Gunn threatened to file for a divorce if she wouldn't go, or worse, go on his   
own to Vegas and date all the girls there," he laughed and Buffy's heart melted   
at the unfamiliar sound. Of course she had heard him laugh like this before,   
during 24 hours that were taken away from her, that she only knew from a very   
disturbing dream.  
  
Angel saw her frowning and put his cup down, "Buffy? Are you alright?"  
  
"Sorry," she looked up. "I was just ... I was thinking about the day the Oracles   
turned back."  
  
The smile instantly disappeared from his face. "I see," was all he replied. "I   
..," he started to say, but she interrupted him.  
  
"No, please let me first. When I told you I was angry with you for it, it was   
only partially true. I'm not angry for taking the day back to save my life. God,   
how could I when the sacrifice was your own. Nobody ever did something like that   
for me."  
  
"I'd do it again in an instant," he said and she knew it was the truth. It was   
written in his eyes.  
  
"Yeah ... well," she cleared her throat, "but I was angry because you didn't ask   
me first and kept it from me after."  
  
"I know," he replied. "But when I went to the Oracles I never thought they would   
turn back the day. I thought ...," he shook his head, "I guess I didn't know what was going to happen. I went there to ask about the consequences of my being   
human. And they told me you would die. So I asked them to turn me back that I   
would be strong enough to fight by your side in the final battle and the only way they could offer was to turn back time. It was the hardest decision I ever made in my life.  
  
"And I was thinking about telling you, you have to believe me, but then you were   
crying in my arms, asking me how to go on with your life knowing what could've   
been. So I thought it was for the best you'd never know. Maybe it was wrong, but   
I can't change it anymore." He watched her face for a moment and then asked,   
"When did you get that special memory?"  
  
"Two weeks after the hellmouth was closed," she answered. She looked into her   
cup and added silently, "After that my marriage broke apart."  
  
"I'm sorry," he said softly.  
  
"No," she glanced at him quickly, "if I'm honest with myself I have to admit that Brent and I were never rally meant to be. But when I first started having doubts, Ashlynn was only two months old, so we tried to make it work and Brent was in love with me. So I smiled and tried to be a good wife for him. And for some years we were quite happy."  
  
"I know," was all he replied and she realised that she'd never been out of his   
thoughts. This knowledge wrapped itself like a warm blanket around her heart.   
  
"Angel," her voice suddenly sounded urgent. "There's one thing I need to know,   
one thing that always bothered me."  
  
"Ask."  
  
"Why didn't you call me when you became human? I understand that you didn't tell   
me about the Shanshu-prophecy, because nobody could tell you when it was going to happen, but then you were. Human, I mean, and still you didn't call."  
  
"You were married, Buffy," he said slowly, "Cordelia told me there were problems   
in your relationship with Brent and I started to hope, thought about going to see you, but it wouldn't have been fair. I didn't want you to make a decision only because I was human and ... available." He paused and then added, his voice   
barely above a whisper, "And I thought you loved him."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yeah," he continued. "So I stayed away and about six months later I met Anna. We were only dating, it was nothing serious and I was still hoping ... well, but   
then one day Cordelia told me you were having another baby." He raised his head   
from the coffee-cup and looked her in the eye, "Two weeks later I married Anna."  
  
Silence settled over the room while his words sunk in. Buffy suddenly understood   
what had driven him to marry a woman he'd obviously never loved. "I'm sorry," she whispered after a while. "When I heard that you were human it threw me. I waited and waited that you would call, but you never did. Brent and I were on the crossroads and when I didn't hear from you, I thought I just wasn't important enough for you anymore and gave in to his idea to have another baby. Needless to say that it wasn't working."  
  
A harsh sound escaped his mouth when he stared at her, "Not important enough," he echoed, unable to progress her words. "God, Buffy, if you knew ...," he shook his head and let out an unhappy laugh, "you were everything to me. All my life it seems I've been waiting for you," he stood up and began to pace the room. "When Whistler showed you to me all these years ago it was like a blow in my gut. Your smile, your heart ... It turned my life upside down. I was a homeless man in New York, living off the rats in the streets, but suddenly I had a purpose in my life."   
  
He paused and looked at her again, "Falling in love with you ... it happened so   
fast and hard ... I was right in the middle before I even realised what had   
happened. And I was so blinded by love that I made myself believe it could work   
between us ... then came your 17th birthday, I lost my soul and the harsh reality came crushing down on us."  
  
He flinched when he felt her hand touching his arm and she quickly pulled it   
back. He hadn't even realised she had been standing up and walking towards him. "It was the same for me," she admitted. "When I found out you were a vampire it was already too late. And none of my friends could understand what had happened.   
After all I was just 16 and not supposed to fall in love like that. They all   
thought it was just a teenage crush that would fade." Now she laughed unhappily,   
"They had no idea."  
  
"None at all," he agreed, but didn't turn to her.   
  
"I was so angry when you left me," her voice was quiet but there was no   
accusation in it, "but I know you did it for me. So that I could have what you   
couldn't offer me."  
  
"It broke my heart, Buffy," he admitted. "But I'm still glad I did it. It gave   
you the opportunity to have children, to have a family. To live a life as normal   
as possible."  
  
There was another silence, both knew his words were true and Buffy couldn't tell   
him that she would've been happy without her children. She loved them so much, a   
life without them she didn't want to begin to imagine, if he'd stayed they both   
would probably never been born. But another thought entered her mind, "You love   
children very much, don't you?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah," he replied.  
  
"But you and your wife didn't have any, did you?"  
  
"No," his answer was surprisingly sharp and he walked away from her, needing   
distance.  
  
"Was it because you didn't love her?," she asked and then quickly added, "I know   
I have absolutely no right to ask this, it's just ... Well, I can't really   
understand ..."  
  
"It's okay," he turned back to her, his voice soft. "The answer to your first   
question - if it even was one - no, I didn't love Anna. We were attracted to each other, but there was never love between us. I already told you why I married her. About kids," he ran a hand through his hair, "she wanted a baby, but we found out I couldn't have any. There's no medical explanation for it, so I just assume it's a side effect of having been a vampire for over 200 years, maybe not everything was restored when I finally was made human." Suddenly he shrugged, "But then it's maybe better that way, what kid would like a father with a past like mine."  
  
Her heart broke for him in that moment. This man had suffered so much in his life and still he was accepting any sort of punishment, was even able to find a reason in his infertility. "Oh Angel," she said, suppressing the threatening tears. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Hey," he tried a smile and was glad it worked. "I'm okay with it. There's   
nothing one can do. I just have to accept it." He took a deep breath and then   
told her, "In the end she took it as a reason to file for a divorce. But we   
agreed on it and for this special case I'm even glad. To have a baby for all the   
wrong reasons would've been a disaster. This way we parted as friends. She is   
married again and I hope she's happy."  
  
"I'm still sorry," she insisted. "You would be a wonderful father. Just think the way you are with Matt or with David today. He already adores you."  
  
Now was the moment, he realised. He had to ask the question he been trying to   
avoid. Angel gathered all his courage and asked, "Well, I could maybe read   
stories more often to him if I'm going to see his mom on a regular basis, which I would like very much. That is, if you would like it?"  
  
His voice was full of uncertainty and hope and if Buffy hadn't already realised   
it, now she would've certainly known that she was lost. She was right in the   
middle of the cold water and all she could do now was swim and hope he wouldn't   
let her drown. She would have to trust him and all of a sudden it wasn't   
difficult at all. The way they had talked, the way his eyes were resting on her,   
it wasn't really much of choice. So she walked over to him and put a hand on his   
arm. When his eyes were finally looking into hers she whispered, "I would like   
that very much."  
  
End of Chapter Nine.  



	11. Confessions and Daughters

  
Chapter Ten: Confessions and Daughters  
  
  
The following weeks went smoothly. Angel drove over to Sunnydale as often as he   
could. He came and took Buffy and the kids to the park, invited them for lunch,   
took them to the movies, they went to the beach together, they talked a bit more, laughed and talked again. Both enjoyed the time they spent with each other, became more and more comfortable in each others company. But still, even after three weeks they hadn't kissed once, at least not properly. They were even hesitant to touch.   
  
It was almost as if they were both afraid to take the next step. And although   
both were by now sure about the feelings for each other none of them would talk   
about it. After the first day Angel had come to Buffy's apartment the   
conversations between them didn't touch the painful past anymore. It wasn't   
completely true, Buffy had to admit. They were talking about the past, about   
Xander and Willow, about Spike, or some of their adventures, but never about   
things regarding their relationship.  
  
And after all the time they had spent together and because she was absolutely   
sure about her feelings towards Angel, Buffy sometimes wanted to scream, when he   
just said good-bye, bent down for a brotherly kiss on her cheek and promised the   
kids to be back soon. She was almost convinced that she'd understood him wrong   
that day in her apartment and that all he wanted was a friendship when she caught him looking at her one day at the beach.  
  
They were sitting on towels in the sand. David was trying to build a sand-castle   
nearby while Ashlynn played with other girls and Buffy was busy rubbing   
sun-lotion on her legs when she had the feeling he was watching her. Quickly   
looking up their eyes met and the expression of deep longing in his chocolate   
ones almost took her breath away. But he quickly turned his head and put his   
sunglasses back on.   
  
And suddenly everything was so clear she almost wanted to laugh and cry at the   
same time. She was such an idiot, she scolded herself. He waited for *her* to   
make the first move. He waited, because he wanted her to feel comfortable,   
because he felt he had no right to press her, because he was afraid she would   
reject him and mostly because he was Angel. Sweet, caring, loving, wonderful   
Angel, so different from all the other men she'd ever met that she'd almost   
forgotten how special he was.   
  
How could she have been so blind! Hadn't he himself told her that he'd already   
brought too much pain into her life and that he didn't want to be the cause of   
more? He would wait until she would give him a sign and after all the confusing   
signals she'd sent out at the beginning it was no surprise he was uncertain   
around her. So he would behave all gentleman-like and take whatever she was ready to give, even if it was choking him up.   
  
Well, she thought, suddenly feeling light-hearted, he wouldn't misunderstand her   
from now on. She would make her wishes crystal-clear, "Angel?"  
  
"Hmmm?," he was laying on his back beside her, the sunglasses covering his eyes,   
so she didn't know if they were closed or watching her.   
  
She propped herself up on an elbow and looked over to him, "I was thinking," she   
said, deliberately using a casual tone.  
  
"About what?," he asked and didn't move or turn his head, but Buffy could feel   
the sudden tension in his body and maybe she was imagining it, but she could've   
sworn his breathing had quickened.  
  
"About us," she answered and took some sand in her palm only to let it run   
through her fingers again.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"You know Angel," she said suddenly, "these one-syllable-reactions are getting   
old after some time."  
  
He raised his upper body, removed the glasses and gave her an uncertain smile,   
"Sorry, but I honestly didn't know what to say."  
  
"I see," she was looking at the ground, still playing with the sand. "Maybe it's   
because you don't have much to say about us."  
  
She didn't look at him but could feel he was suddenly speechless. And then when   
she wanted to scream because she couldn't stand the silence anymore, he said,   
"No. Of course I have something to say about ... us. It's just ... well, I don't   
know if ...," he began to stutter, "that is, if you ... I mean ... I don't want   
... oh, hell, I'm not good at this."  
  
"This?" She still didn't raise her head, because she didn't want him to see her   
smile.  
  
"This," he motioned with his hand at her and him, "us. You and me." He ran a   
helpless hand through his hair, "I'm not sure how you feel about this. Us. You   
are friendly, all smiles and laughter, but you never...," he drew an unsteady   
breath, "you are so relaxed around me while all I can think about is pulling you   
in my arms and kiss you senseless." And then after a second he added, "There, now you know what I feel. Now you can tell me to go and never come back."  
  
"Oh Angel," finally she did look up and her eyes were shining with happy tears.   
"Do you realise that I was afraid you were just interested in playing the good   
friend?"  
  
"What," his voice broke and he had to clear his throat, "what do you mean?"  
  
"I was beginning to question my femininity, because you were so ... so   
friend-like. Just a kiss on the cheek and bye-bye, but you never even tried to   
kiss me once, on the mouth I mean. First you tell me you think I'm the most   
beautiful woman you know...,"  
  
"You are," he interrupted her.  
  
She smiled, "Thanks. But then you behave as if ... well, as if I'm a good friend. And today I just needed to know."  
  
"But ... but I thought you... I was not sure, what you wanted me to do, that is.   
And ... I was so afraid I would do something wrong and mess this up. Besides the   
fact that Cordelia is threatening to quarter me in that case, the thought you   
wouldn't want me around anymore was more I could bear." He hesitantly reached out and took her hand in his, "So I thought that being your friend was better than nothing. I thought if you were comfortable around me then maybe you would ... one day ... Buffy, I have waited so long. Some weeks are nothing."   
  
The meaning behind his words hit her full force and all she could do was stare at him with wide eyes. Finally she choked, "Do you ...," she cleared her throat, "do you mean you never stopped loving me?"  
  
Now it was his turn to be stunned, "Did you ever doubt it?"  
  
"I ...," again there were tears in her eyes, "I'm not sure. I mean, I wasn't sure about it. Maybe it was because I was so young when we first met, just a teenager, uncertain and without any experience regarding relationships, I don't know. Maybe I was just pushing the thought away because I was feeling so hurt after you left me," she shook her head at the certainty in his eyes, "You really never stopped loving me. Never?"  
  
He had to smile, he couldn't suppress it, "Never. Buffy I already told you,   
falling in love with you was something I had no control about. It just happened   
and I instantly knew this was forever." He quickly glanced to the ground, then   
looked back into her eyes, "But of course I never expected you to feel the same.   
As you said, you were a teenager, I might have been your first love and your   
first lover, but ...,"  
  
"No," she interrupted him sharply. "You never were just a teenage-crush. And I   
might not have been so sure, might have doubted my feelings for you, might have   
wavered, but deep inside I never stopped loving you either." She drew a shaky   
breath, feeling suddenly weak after their confessions, "Would you now kiss me   
please?"  
  
He had to laugh, but it was a bit uncertain, "Are you sure," his eyes darted to   
David, who was only some meters away. She followed and then grinned.  
  
"I really don't care. They better get used to this, because I'm not going to let   
you go again and besides, they already love you. So..."  
  
Now his smile was genuine and the love shining from his eyes warmed her heart,   
"You don't have to ask me twice," he said and caught her lips with his.  
  
****  
  
"Hey Ashlynn," Karen, one girl around the same age as Buffy's daughter nudged her in the ribs.  
  
"What?," the blonde girl asked.  
  
"Isn't that your mom over there kissing? But didn't you say the guy was not your   
dad, but just a friend."  
  
Ashlynn spun around and as soon as her eyes fell on the kissing couple her eyes   
went wide. The only man she'd seen her mother kiss before had been her father   
and they hadn't kissed very often. Brotherly kisses on the cheek like she gave   
Xander didn't count. And now Angel, the man she'd come to like a lot seemed as if he was stuck to her mother at the lips. His hands were all-over Buffy's back and she clung to him as if her life was depending on it.  
  
But to her great surprise Ashlynn didn't it mind at all. Until now she'd always   
thought it gross to think about kissing someone on the mouth, but with her mother and Angel it just looked ... right. Maybe it was because he'd already found a way into her heart, maybe it was because her mother had never seemed so happy before or maybe part of it was her longing to have a father around and her own didn't seem to care for her ever since her parents were divorced. Not that he had been the most caring father before.   
  
She didn't hate her father, no she liked him a lot ... when he was around, but   
unfortunately it had never been very much. He'd always been so busy and now he   
didn't even live in the same town anymore. She'd been hurt at first that he   
didn't seem to care, but her mom seemed so sad that she didn't want to add more   
grief by telling her about her feelings. And David of course was too small to   
even miss his dad. But ever since Angel was around she didn't miss her dad the   
same way she'd before. He was laughing with her, was playing games with her or   
listening to her stories and she'd already silently thought about the possibility of him being around constantly.   
  
She glanced back at her mother and Angel who were now looking into each others   
eyes and smiling and found herself smiling as well. People who kissed usually   
were married or lived together, right? And then Angel would live with them and   
she could cuddle to him whenever she wanted.   
  
She turned to Kate and grinned, "His name is Angel. And he isn't just my mom's   
friend. He is mine too."   
  
End of Chapter Ten.   



	12. That Loving Feeling

Chapter Eleven: That Loving Feeling  
  
  
"Morning Mom," Buffy greeted Joyce when she breezed into the house at Robello   
Drive, David on her arm and a smile on her face.  
  
"Hi honey, you look ... radiant, I say," Mrs. Summers eyed her daughter   
curiously.   
  
"I feel great," the former slayer replied and walked into the living-room to put   
her son down, he was already becoming impatient in her arms. He wanted to play on grandma's floor where all his toys were still lying around from the last time   
he'd been here.  
  
"I can see that." Joyce wasn't quite sure what to think about her daughter's   
attitude this morning. But she was sure something important must have happened.   
Buffy looked as if she wanted to conquer the world, the energy was radiating from her and her eyes were shining. Joyce might have been oblivious once but she had a certain idea what could be the cause of all this. She casually leaned against the doorframe and when her daughter turned and looked at her, she said, "I guess you and Angel talked."   
  
It wasn't much of a question, Buffy noticed immediately. Of course her mother   
knew that she and Angel were seeing each other, but obviously she'd also noticed   
that it hadn't been going the way her daughter wanted for a while. "We have,"   
Buffy replied, "yesterday I suddenly saw everything so clear before me. He was   
just afraid to take the next step because he wasn't sure how I'd react." She   
smiled, "so I took the matters in my own hands."  
  
"I see," one corner of Joyce's mouth twitched. "Is it safe to say that you've   
taken the next step now?"  
  
"Well, we kissed for a start. God, mom, you should've seen him. He was so   
hesitant, so uncertain ... if I hadn't been in love with him before I would've   
fallen in love with him then." She laughed and shook her head.   
  
"Love?," Mrs. Summers raised a brow and stepped closer, "Honey are you sure about it? Are you sure it isn't just because you feel alone and Angel reminds you of happy times when you were young?"  
  
"What's this," Buffy frowned at her mother, "I thought you were okay with this?"  
  
"I am," Joyce replied quickly. "And the way your eyes are shining I don't think   
you'd really care what I say. No, I just want to be certain that you're sure   
about this."  
  
"I am sure. Mom, I love him. I always loved him. And the things connected to   
Angel and our past are ... let's just say they aren't that nice. In fact these   
were the things that stood between us, but we talked about it. The first day he   
came to my apartment and yesterday after we kissed we talked again. Mom, I love   
him so much and because I knew it all the time it scared me to death. With Angel   
there is no half-way, it isn't safe, I cannot just hide some part of me. I have   
to open up and make myself vulnerable.  
  
"And he hurt me before, but we talked and I understand now why he did the things   
he did and there were a lot of misunderstandings too. And I trust him, I know he   
would never hurt me deliberately. And I know he loves me too," she took a deep   
breath and smiled at her mother, "Does this answer your question?"  
  
Now Mrs. Summers smiled as well, "It does. And I didn't want to give you the   
third degree, but you are my daughter and I love you and I don't want you to get   
hurt again."  
  
"I know and I'm not angry or something. But I just feel this is right and this   
brings me to my next question," she bit her lower lip. "Angel wants to take me   
out for dinner tonight and ... well ...," she blushed slightly.  
  
Her mother grinned, "You want me to take the kids for the night?"  
  
"Yeah," Buffy let out a breath of relief. "I don't know what's going to happen   
after dinner, we didn't talk about it, but ...," she trailed off and blushed a   
bit more.  
  
"Honey," Joyce laid a hand on her daughter's arm. "I understand. Of course I take the kids. David can stay here and I get Ashlynn after school. You know how they like to stay with me for a night."  
  
"Thanks," the former slayer hugged her mother. "You're the best. I owe you for   
this."  
  
"No you don't," Mrs. Summers replied and pulled back. "Just be happy. That's all   
I need."  
  
"I am," Buffy said dreamily, "I really am."  
  
*****  
  
"So you're taking her out for dinner. Does that mean you stay there overnight?,"   
Cordelia grinned at the former vampire who was going through his wardrobe.   
  
"You're having naughty thoughts, Cordelia," he replied, not looking at her,   
"Ever since your honeymoon your thoughts only seem to go into a certain   
direction."  
  
A laughter escaped her throat, "Haha, very funny. Because you never have these   
thoughts when you look at Buffy!"  
  
Angel silently spoke a quick prayer of patience, took a deep breath and said,   
"Honestly, that's none of your business."  
  
"Hey," she grinned, "I think this really embarrasses you, doesn't it? For all the years you were around you just can't get over your 18th century Irish-catholic upbringing." She laughed out loud, "I can't believe it."  
  
He slightly shook his head and turned to look at her, "No, Cordelia, it doesn't   
embarrass me. I just don't want to talk about it. Whatever Buffy and I are going   
to do is between us. I'm not going to discuss this with you. Period."  
  
"You wouldn't even be together now if it wasn't for me."  
  
"Maybe," he admitted, "and I'll be eternally grateful for that, but now it stops. Buffy and I are together and it's for us to decide where and how to go from here." He shot her a stern glance, then decided for the dark green jacket   
Cordelia had persuaded him to buy some weeks ago.   
  
"Fine," she pouted, "but don't blame me if something goes wrong."  
  
He gave her a smile, then grabbed his wallet and checked the pockets of his   
trousers for his car keys. On his way out he stopped in front of her, "I love   
you, Cordelia. And thanks." He kissed her on the cheek and walked down the   
stairs. When he opened the door that led towards the garage, he heard her behind   
him, "Have a nice evening and give my love to Buffy. Oh and don't think I'll   
forget the part about you being eternally grateful."  
  
Angel groaned when he climbed into his car, he should really be more careful with words, especially around Cordelia.  
  
****  
  
"I'm so glad that you could come over," Buffy gave Willow a grateful smile while   
she applied her makeup. She'd called the red-head an hour ago and told her she   
needed a second opinion about clothes.   
  
Willow had raised a brow at the other end of the line because she wouldn't have   
thought of herself as the first choice when it came to fashion, but the nervous   
tremble in Buffy's voice had told her that the question had merely been an   
excuse. The former slayer wanted someone to talk to and listening had always been one of Willow's best qualities, plus she'd seen the change in Buffy's behaviour ever since she and Angel were seeing each other again. The fact that the couple was on the brick of something serious again hit right to the core of the red-head's romantic heart. And it made her feel good. Hadn't she always thought Angel and Buffy were just right for each other?  
  
"When will Angel be here?," she asked.  
  
"At seven thirty," Buffy replied and glanced at the clock. A slightly panicked   
look entered her eyes. "It's already six thirty. Only an hour left. And look at   
me, I'm never going to be ready in time."  
  
Willow had to laugh, "I think Angel won't mind to wait," she assured her friend.   
It was heart-warming to see the former slayer like this. Buffy might have been   
happily married for some years, she might have felt comfortable with Riley for a   
while but she hadn't radiated this kind of happiness since her 17th birthday. It   
was of the carefree kind and Willow decided that if anybody had earned to feel   
like this it was Buffy. And Angel of course, she added quickly.   
  
With a doubtful look that made Willow laugh again, Buffy stood up and walked over to the three dresses she'd selected before. "What do you think?"  
  
"Buffy, you are going to wear it," she reminded the blond.  
  
"I know," the former slayer sighed. "Angel said I should dress up a bit. A bit!   
What the hell is that supposed to mean?"  
  
The red-head grinned, "Not too fancy, I guess."  
  
Buffy shot her best friend a nasty look, "You're a great help you know."  
  
"I'm not really the fashion expert here," Willow defended herself. "The only one   
who would be good in that department is in L.A. I'd be better if you wanted to   
shop online."  
  
"Very funny," the blonde crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at the three dresses. "Do you think red is ... I dunno ... too obvious?"  
  
Willow cocked a brow, "Too obvious?"  
  
"You know, sexually. In psychology I learned that red is a sexual aggressive   
colour." She stopped and bit her lower lip, a sure sign that she wasn't feeling   
too comfortable about the subject, "I don't want to make Angel uncomfortable. I   
don't even know if he's planning to ... not that I wouldn't want ... I mean,"   
embarrassed she interrupted herself and her shoulders sagged. "God, Willow, I   
behave like a nervous teenager on her first date."  
  
"That's because it's important to you, Buffy," the red-head said gently. "And   
frankly I don't think a sexual hint would make Angel uncomfortable. If you want   
to hear my opinion, I think he would welcome it."  
  
"God, I hope you're right," Buffy said without thinking, only to blush furiously. "Maybe I better keep my mouth shut tonight before I completely embarrass myself."  
  
"Angel loves you," Willow replied. "I think he'll understand perfectly. I   
wouldn't be surprised at all if he's even more nervous than you."  
  
*****  
  
She couldn't have been more right. The former vampire sat in his car on his way   
towards Sunnydale and his thoughts ran wild. What would she expect him to do?   
Would she just say yes because she thought he wanted to make love to her? Would   
she feel uncomfortable again? He ran a hand through his hair, then put it back on the wheel.   
  
Calm down, he told himself. You're over 250 years old, you're going to conquer   
this. Just let the evening happen and you'll see.  
  
He just wished it would be as easy as it sounded.  
  
End of Chapter Eleven.  



	13. The Love We Share

  
  
Chapter 12: The Love We Share  
  
  
Angel pressed the doorbell and then shoved his free hand deep into his pocket   
feeling like a schoolboy on his first date. The other hand was holding a single   
yellow rose, but the moment Buffy opened the door all he could do was stare and   
the flower was instantly forgotten.  
  
"Hi," she smiled at him. When he didn't say anything she frowned slightly,   
"Angel?"  
  
"Oh, sorry," he gave her a loop-sided grin, "You're just so beautiful."  
  
Her smile grew wider, "Thank you. I'm glad you like the dress."  
  
"Yeah," he breathed, hoping that his heart would stop racing, "I mean, I do," he   
said quickly, feeling suddenly breathless. Then he reminded himself of the rose in his hand and held it out to her, "That's for you."  
  
She took it from him and held it to her face, "Hmmm, smells wonderful. I just put it into a vase, then we can go. Why don't you come in for a moment?" She turned towards the kitchen, while Angel entered the apartment and closed the door behind him. He'd been here many times before, but tonight everything seemed different. After two minutes she was back and Angel was glad he had had the time to get himself under control. The red-dress she wore had caused more than only a slight arousal in him and he was glad he wasn't wearing tight leather pants that night.  
  
"Okay, I'm ready now," she smiled at him expectantly.  
  
"Fine," he smiled back. "Do you need a coat or something?," he asked looking   
pointedly at the strapless dress.   
  
She shook her head, "No, it's warm outside and it doesn't look like raining. So   
I'll be alright."  
  
He just nodded and opened the door for her.  
  
*  
  
Buffy glanced around the expensive restaurant Angel had her driven to. She'd   
already read about it in the newspaper. It was Italian and the gourmets were   
singing praises over it. Never, not in her wildest dreams, Buffy would've   
expected to dine here. But now that she sat there with Angel, she felt great.   
"This is like a dream," she said smiling at him. "I feel like Cinderella and   
you're the prince spoiling me."  
  
He smiled back, "I'm glad you like it. I wanted this to be special. It's the   
first dinner we ever went to."  
  
"It is, isn't it?," she said with an odd look in her eyes, "For all the years we   
know each other, we never went out for dinner."  
  
"Well, I wasn't much for food before. And I doubt they would've served liquid   
diet in a restaurant."  
  
Happiness flooded her heart to hear him making a joke about him having been a   
vampire. He was so relaxed about it now, the familiar pain was gone from his   
eyes, sometimes there was a flicker of it, like the moment he had told her he   
couldn't have children, but the fact that the PTB had given him his humanity   
seemed to make all the difference. He had redeemed himself, he had earned to   
experience this and he didn't refuse it anymore.  
  
The waiter came and took their orders, then disappeared again. "Cordelia sends   
her love," he said, breaking the silence.  
  
"Thanks," she grinned, "I'd never expected Cordelia to feel love for me."  
  
He grinned as well, "Yeah, well, it's a post-honeymoon thing I think. Ever since   
she and Gunn came back, she's floating around the office. There's no other way to describe it." He laughed, "When I first met Gunn, I'd never thought he and   
Cordelia would fall for each other."  
  
"They are very different, but then who could have been more different than a   
slayer and a vampire," she gave him a smile. "Cordy looks very happy. And Gunn   
seems to be a nice guy."  
  
"He is," Angel confirmed. "And a good friend. He had it tough though. When we   
first met each other he tried to kill me." Seeing her gasp he shook his head,   
"Not me as in 'I want to kill Angel', but he was the leader of a bunch of kids   
fighting vampires. And I was one, no doubt at that. Then his sister was turned   
and he had to kill her." He paused for a moment thinking about a time when he had done the same or more specifically his demon. "After that he helped me from time to time and then came to work full time for Angel Investigations."  
  
"So he's a street kid?"  
  
"Yeah, you can say so. Cordelia's parents were shocked, to put it mildly, when   
she told them she was going to marry him."  
  
"I didn't see them at the wedding," Buffy said slightly frowning.  
  
He shook his head, "They didn't come. They simply refused to go. It hit her hard. Cordelia tries to be tough all the time and she tried to cover her disappointment and in the end she was okay somehow, but I wanted to go and strangle them for it. How can parents do such a thing to their child? I will never understand it."  
  
"It's their loss. Just thinking that I couldn't go to Ashlynn's wedding," she   
suddenly laughed and at Angel's confused look she explained, "She would kill me,   
if she'd heard me saying this. For her boys are just stupid idiots. She isn't in   
that age where they become interesting."  
  
"She's a wonderful child," he said warmly. "And David too. You can be very proud   
of them. And you're a wonderful mother, exactly how I always pictured you to be." A sad expression entered his eyes and he quickly tried to cover it, not to ruin the mood, but she'd already seen it.  
  
She reached out and covered his hand that was laying on the table with hers,   
"I'm very sorry you cannot have children of your own, but ... well, don't   
understand me wrong. Brent loves his children and they love him too, but he's   
always so busy. Almost like my dad was. Ashlynn and David adore you, so dependent upon how serious this 'us' is going to be you could be their second father." Suddenly realising what she'd said, she tried to amend, "That is, I mean ... I didn't want to ..." She pulled her hand back, but Angel caught it and held it in his.  
  
Locking his eyes with hers, he asked, "How serious do you want this to be,   
Buffy?"  
  
"I ...," she began, but they were interrupted by the waiter who brought their   
drinks and the food. But Buffy had suddenly lost her appetite. His eyes had been   
so intense when he'd asked the question. Did it mean what she thought it did? And more importantly what was she going to do?  
  
*****  
  
Buffy lifted her face towards the stars and smiled while marvelling in the   
feeling of her fingers entwined with Angels. After dinner he had asked her if she would like to go with him for a stroll at the beach. She had been thrilled by the thought and now she was walking beside him, both of them carrying their shoes in their free hands.   
  
"It's a perfect evening," she said after they'd walked in silence for quite some   
time.  
  
"It is," he confirmed and then stopped abruptly and pulled at her hand so that   
she was facing him. She shivered at the gleam she saw in his eyes and her   
heartbeat quickened. "There's just one thing. To make it entirely perfect I   
really need to do this." And with this he pulled her in his arms and caught her   
lips with his.   
  
All rational thinking - did she ever think rationally she wondered - instantly   
fled her mind. They had already kissed yesterday, but tonight it was different.   
Tonight it seemed there were no barriers anymore. The kiss swept them back to the time of sweet innocence, when they'd still believed everything possible.   
  
The shoes fell from her hand and Buffy's fingertips moved to his shirtfront and   
felt the skin warm through the cotton. His hands flattened on her warm, bare   
back, drawing her nearer as his tongue slipped between her silken lips, warm now, but bringing back some long-remembered essence as individual as a fingerprint. A sound rose in his throat and came a second time while his tongue duelled with hers.  
  
"Buffy ... Buffy," he murmured, the name a bit slurred between their hungry   
mouths. And as the kiss grew greedier their bodies became more intimate with each other. Their mouths experimented, recalling how it had been in the past - a   
scrape of teeth against a soft inner lip, a gentle bite, an interchange of   
tongues, a suckling that seemed to tug deep within.   
  
Buffy's body seemed to shimmer in response. It had been so long ... so long. His   
body pressing at hers was vital, resilient, healthy. Her breast peaked and   
yearned for the warmth of his hands.  
  
But the kiss ended and he backed away to look down into her eyes, "Buffy," Angel   
whispered in wonder. "Is this real?," he asked. "It's almost as if we've never   
been apart. Do you feel it too?" Her wrapped her in two tight arms, her cheek   
resting against his chest as he rocked her, not able to let her go. "God, this is like a dream," he murmured into her hair.  
  
She smiled against his chest and hugged him back, "Yes, it is. But it's reality."  
  
"This night is like magic," he whispered, then smiled, "or maybe it's the magic   
of us, I don't know. And I honestly don't care."   
  
She pulled back and smiled up at him, "It could be. But whatever it is, it could   
become a habit of mine."  
  
"I believe, Buffy," he kissed her eyelids, "it could become one of mine too." The next kiss came down on her nose.  
  
When his mouth again opened over hers she found herself clinging, kissing him   
back with nothing held back. His hand caressed her hip, then sought her flat   
stomach stopping right above her warm center.  
  
His breath came hard and fast when he finally pulled back, "I think we better   
stop," he said with a little smile on his lips, "This could easily get out of   
hand."  
  
She took one of his hands in hers, pulled it to her mouth and kissed it. "Don't   
stop because you think you have to," her eyes were shimmering brightly with love, "I want it too you know."  
  
Again this expression of wonder entered his eyes, as if he couldn't believe the   
words she'd said. God, how she loved this man. And how much she wanted him right   
now. "But not here," he said. "We're not alone," he added with a pointed nod   
towards a couple who was coming towards them - obviously enjoying the summer   
night as well.   
  
"We could go to my apartment," she suggested.  
  
"But what about ...,"  
  
"The kids are with my mom," she told him with a wink.   
  
In response he laughed, realising she had expected it to happen. Sweeping her up   
in his arms he whirled her around, "Buffy Summers, your are amazing, and I love   
you."  
  
"And I love you."  
  
End of Chapter Twelve.  



	14. Surprises on the Morning After

  
Chapter Thirteen: Surprises on The Morning After  
  
  
Angel woke up the next morning quite disoriented. The bed he was laying in wasn't his, it smelled different, female, and it felt different. And somehow the warm body beside him, the warm legs entwined with his ... his eyes popped open only to fall on Buffy's sleeping form and a smile crept across his face. He wanted to reach out to touch her face, to trace the line of her jaw, her brows, just touch, maybe to claim, but he didn't want to wake her.   
  
She looked so relaxed and comfortable slumbering on her pillow and so he   
contented himself with studying her face. She had matured a lot, she wasn't the   
girl anymore he remembered but a woman, a beautiful, desirable woman with an   
ex-husband and two children, a life of her own.   
  
He felt a sharp pain in his chest thinking about everything he had missed in her   
life but he quickly pushed the dark thoughts away. There was no use dwelling on   
the past. Nothing would change it, all they could do was move forward and try to   
make it work in the future. They were both still young and had a whole life ahead of them. A chuckle escaped him at that thought. Had he just referred to himself as young? He shook his head in disbelief, it seemed he was more and more becoming human, judging the age of person by their appearance.  
  
And he had to admit he was glad she had two kids. It had been one of the reason   
why he'd left her and for he still wasn't able to give her children he at least   
didn't have to feel guilty for taking something away from her.  
  
Looking back at Buffy he saw her stir and slowly blinking her eyes open. When   
they finally focussed on him she smiled. "Hi," she leaned forward and their lips   
met in a sweet kiss. "Hmmm," she made and stretched beside him. "This is heaven.   
Waking up like this, you by my side, looking at me...," she stopped and suddenly   
frowned, "Why were you watching me?"  
  
He chuckled again, "Are you afraid I'm discovering any of your secrets because   
you talk while you sleep."  
  
"Do not," she replied. "I don't talk in my sleep. I have slept beside men for   
some years and none of them ...," she broke off realising what she'd said and   
reached out to take his hand, "Angel I'm sorry. It's not how I wanted to start   
the day after..."  
  
"Shhh," he pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed it. "Don't worry. That was the past. This is the presence and hopefully the future and I just thought while I was watching you," he gave her a little grin, "that dwelling on the past will not help. We both have a past and I can guarantee that mine is much more colourful than yours. I can't even count the women I was with."  
  
"That was your demon," she said firmly.   
  
"Only partially, Buffy. But before I became a vampire I wasn't a saint either and there was Anna after I became human and ...," he broke off suddenly feeling   
uncomfortable and not willing to let the mention of Darla destroy this morning   
after their wonderful night together. He would tell her about it, he vowed, but   
not right now. And it wasn't important anyway. Not anymore. Darla was   
non-existent, sucked into hell like all the other demons that once roamed the   
earth.   
  
"What I wanted to say is that it's not what was that counts." He kissed her palm   
and then gazed deeply into her eyes, "I love you. That's all that matters and I   
don't want you to tap around the men you've been with all the time we're   
together. I want you to feel comfortable around me, that's the only way we can   
make this work."  
  
"I love you too," she said and blinked, "God, you're really turned me into a   
fountain." Smiling a bit shakily, she added, "This has to stop soon or everybody   
will think something terrible has happened to me, all red-eyes and puffy cheeks."  
  
Popping herself up upon an elbow she ran a hand through her hair, "Yuck," she   
exclaimed feeling it all sticky from the sea-water. "I think I need a shower,"   
lowering her lashes, she smiled, "And you too. The one in my bathroom is big   
enough for two."  
  
In response he grinned and was about to get up and pull her with him, when her   
phone suddenly rang. Quickly glancing at the clock she groaned and reached for   
the receiver, "I can't believe this. Who the hell is calling us at nine on a   
Saturday morning? ... Yeah," she snorted into the receiver, not caring whoever   
was at the other end of the line.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
The blonde's eyes widened in disbelief and her gaze locked with Angel's who of   
course had no idea who was calling.  
  
"Cordelia?," the former-slayer said. The ex-vampire's eyes now mirrored hers when he let himself fall down on the bed again.  
  
"Sure it's me," the former mayqueen chirped. "How are you?"  
  
"Are you alright?," Buffy asked, annoyance clearly audible in her voice. "Because there has to be very good explanation why you're disturbing us at this time of the morning."  
  
"Did you just say us?"  
  
The blonde rolled her eyes and Angel couldn't suppress a chuckle, he could   
imagine very well what she had to listen to.   
  
"Yeah," Buffy replied, "you remember. Me and the kids."  
  
"Try again. I just called your mom and she told me the kids are with her,"   
Cordelia shot her husband a nasty look when she saw him shaking his head. Gunn   
was sitting opposite to her at their kitchen table and could hardly believe his   
ears. His wife was actually checking up on Angel and Buffy.   
  
The ex-slayer's eyes narrowed, "You called my mother?"  
  
"Sure," Cordelia said without any sign of embarrassment. "I didn't want to call   
unprepared."  
  
Buffy was speechless for a second. How did Angel manage to work with her and not   
strangle her twice a day, she wondered. "I think you don't want to hear what I   
want to do at the moment, I suppose," the blonde asked sweetly.  
  
"Just tell me, after hunting demons for years nothing can shock me," the brunette replied.  
  
"No trust me," the former slayer said with a certain tone in her voice, "you   
*don't* want to know." When she saw Angel signalising her, she handed the phone   
over to him.  
  
"Cordelia," he said into the receiver, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"  
  
"So there you are," she ignored his question, "you sound a bit angry. I thought   
you'd be quite happy this morning."  
  
Now it was his turn to be speechless, looking at Buffy he saw her smile and   
smiled back, then his attention was on the call again, "I really can't believe   
you did this."  
  
"I just wanted to know if everything was fine. I'm your friend and I care for   
you," she sounded a bit hurt, "So sue me!"  
  
And of course he couldn't stay angry at her words, "It's okay and I really   
appreciate your concern. But there's no need."  
  
"Alright," she replied mollified, "Have a nice weekend."  
  
"I will, you too. And Cordelia."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Don't. Call. Again."  
  
"I love you too," she replied and then the line went off.  
  
With a groan Angel fell back on the pillow and shook his head, laughing. "I can't believe this."  
  
"Neither can I," Buffy laughed as well. She quickly leaned over and kissed him on his chest. "Now, you're still up for this shower?"  
  
*****  
  
Much later they sat in her kitchen over breakfast, feeding each other, smiling,   
touching from time to time, just enjoying the togetherness. Angel was dressed in   
sweatpants and a shirt, he'd brought with him, just in case, and Buffy was   
wrapped in her robe when suddenly the doorbell rang.  
  
Smiling a bit sheepishly, she looked at him over the rim of her cup, "Maybe   
another check up. Xander probably or Willow," she shook her head and was about to get up when she realised she wasn't really dressed for visitors. "Uhm ... uh ... Angel would you mind, I mean, could you," she asked and pointed at the robe she wore, the robe and nothing under it.  
  
"Sure," he replied and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before he left the   
kitchen, "I'll be right back. Maybe you want to change?," he suggested. "Just in   
case I can't send whoever it is away."  
  
"Good idea," she turned and quickly ran into the bedroom, pulling a trouser and a t-shirt from a drawer, not really caring how it would look on her. Anything was better than just standing there in a bathrobe. She heard Angel open the door and then silence.   
  
Then suddenly a well known, angry male voice shouted, "Who the hell are you and   
where is my wife and my kids?"  
  
End Chapter Thirteen  



	15. Husbands and Lovers

  
  
  
Chapter Fourteen: Husbands and Lovers  
  
  
Angel merely quirked an eyebrow at the man , "Your wife?," he said. "I believe   
she's your ex-wife now."  
  
Brent Davenport was taken aback by the calm attitude of the dark stranger   
standing only in sweat-pants and a t-shirt in his wife's apartment door. And of   
course, he silently admitted, the stranger was right. Buffy wasn't married to him anymore, but his kids, he thought, were still his kids and somehow he didn't like the idea that they would find a strange man in the morning with their mother. "May I ask where Buffy is?," his voice was like ice and he inwardly patted himself on the shoulder for this.  
  
"She'll be here soon. But why don't you come in?," the ex-vampire flashed the   
ex-husband a friendly smile, that didn't reach his eyes. They contained a silent   
warning, that this was his territory now. Angel knew there wasn't a chance Brent   
would misread the message, Angelus had mastered this sort of communication over   
the centuries. And as expected, the other man swallowed - hard.  
  
Brent didn't exactly know how to behave around this man he'd never seen before.   
And he was surprised too. He hadn't thought of Buffy finding a new lover so   
quickly. Hell, if he was honest, he hadn't thought her to take a lover at all.   
Sure they had had some great sex, but he'd met more passionate women over the   
years, for Buffy, sex sometimes seemed more like something she owed him more as   
she enjoyed it. It had been one of the reasons why their marriage hadn't lasted.  
  
He followed the stranger into the living-room, studying his back and the way he   
moved. It all spoke of strength, his movements reminded him of a dangerous   
animal, ready to strike if necessary. Of course he didn't know how close his   
thoughts were to the reality. Brent knew about vampires and demons, when he and   
Buffy had met the hellmouth hadn't been closed at all. But he'd never been   
personally involved in the slaying, simply because there had to be someone   
watching Ashlynn when she was a baby and later on ... well, they were just   
drifting apart and Buffy wouldn't confide in him anymore.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by Angel's question, "Do you want some coffee? We   
were just having breakfast when you came."  
  
There it was again, this silent message he'd read before and that told him 'hands off'. He could've told the stranger that he wasn't interested in Buffy anymore. Sure he still thought her attractive, but he had been the one to file for a divorce and he'd had good reasons. But even if he *had* been interested still, he would've thought twice now seeing the dangerous glimpse in the other man's eyes. He didn't threaten him, no he was friendly and welcoming, but the message was unmistakeable. Brent slowly shook his head, "No, thanks."  
  
"Alright," there was that friendly smile again, "I'll go and get Buffy." With   
this Angel turned around and left the ex-husband on his own, still trying to   
figure out who the hell this stranger was, he'd never heard about before.  
  
***  
  
As soon as Angel appeared in the doorway of the bedroom, Buffy pulled him inside   
and slammed the door shut. Then she broke down in a fit of giggles. "I ...c-can't believe you d-did that," she couldn't stop laughing. Her hand over her heart she tried to calm down, "Where did you learn that attitude?"  
  
He quirked a brow, "What do you think?"  
  
"Oh no," she shook her head, "you got this from your demon." Then she suddenly   
nodded, "Yeah, he would've reacted like this."  
  
"Plus he'd ripped his heart out of course," he added dryly.  
  
"And that," she confirmed, then laughed again. "God, I'm sure Brent almost had a   
heart attack. If he'd known who you are ... were ... this is so good."  
  
He smiled, "I'm glad you're not angry."  
  
"Angry? Oh, Angel, no. It was great." She broke off and sobered. "Now you   
probably think I hate Brent. But I swear I don't. Actually I'm not interested at   
all in him, but he can be such a snob and that was just right."  
  
"Did you know he'd come to Sunnydale this weekend?," Angel asked while he was   
picking up his clothes from the bedroom floor. He was glad that he'd collected   
the rest that had been laying in the hallway before the arrival of the   
ex-husband. Not that Brent hadn't instantly known who he was. Angel's clothes and the way he acted made it perfectly clear, still it was a different thing to see scattered clothes everywhere.  
  
"No," Buffy shook her head. "I haven't talked to him for," she gestured with her   
hand, "ages." She sat down on the bed and pulled the socks over her feet. "But   
that's just so like him. Ever since we split up, even when he still lived in   
Sunnydale, he acted as if he had to press the children somewhere into his   
schedule." She looked up and shook her head, "At the beginning he was really   
caring for Ashlynn. He had always time for her but it seems as if ...," she broke off, clearly not liking her thoughts very much.   
  
Angel threw his clothes over a chair and kneeled down in front of her, cupping   
her face in his hands, "If what?," he asked and gazed deeply into her eyes.  
  
She sighed unhappily and covered his hands with hers, "I think the moment he   
realised that I didn't love him, his love for the children faded as well. Or more precisely for Ashlynn. David wasn't even born then. It was as if he couldn't bear to be around her, maybe because she's so much like me," she shrugged helplessly, "maybe she reminds him of the failure of this marriage, not   
consciously, but well ... I don't know."  
  
His voice was very gentle and she could see the love in his eyes when he asked,   
"And you think you're responsible for it? Was that the reason you waited until he filed for a divorce?"  
  
She shrugged again and tried to turn her head away, but he didn't remove his   
hands, forced her to look at him. "Buffy, that's nothing to be ashamed of. It's   
just a human reaction."  
  
She took a shaky breath and tried a wobbly smile, "I should've finished this, our marriage, much earlier, but I ... I just couldn't. Then I even agreed to have David to save what hadn't been existing for years. Angel, I was so blind. If I'd reacted more like a mature person we would've been together for years." Tears were standing in her eyes now and when the first fell he tenderly wiped them away with his thumb.  
  
"Oh Buffy," he leaned forwards and kissed her gently on the mouth. "Please don't   
do this. Don't try to blame yourself for something that cannot be changed. It's   
in the past."  
  
"But you said yourself that you only stayed away because you knew I was married.   
If I'd been divorced ...," she trailed off, looking utterly miserable.  
  
"And if I wouldn't have agreed to turn back time we might be together even   
longer," he retorted.   
  
"No," she protested, "there was a perfectly good reason you did it while I ..."  
  
"NO," his response was sharp and she gasped at the determination in his eyes.   
"Listen to me Buffy. We have to stop that. *You* have to stop it. No blaming, the past is the past. It's over and done with. Now we're moving on, together. That's the only thing that counts. We won't forget what happened in the past, because it's part of who we are, but nothing more. Do you understand?"  
  
She stared at him for a long moment and then her face broke into a smile, "I love you," she whispered. "So, so, so very much. Looking back I don't even know how I managed to go on without you."  
  
"But you did, because you're a wonderful, strong woman, I love with all my   
heart," he smiled as well, "And now you should go and talk to Brent. Otherwise he might think we're enjoying a morning quickie in here." He grinned, "Not that I would mind, him thinking it, I mean, but ..."  
  
"Oh you," she scolded him gently, then sighed, "Alright, I'll go and talk to   
him." They both stood up and Buffy walked over to the door. Before she slipped   
out of the room she flashed him a grin, "This morning quickie-thingy ... we   
shouldn't forget about it." And then she was gone while Angel thought the smile   
on his face would last for ages.  
  
****  
  
Brent looked up when he heard a noise from the door. "Buffy," he said not   
standing up, just raising a brow, while his eyes noticed every detail of her   
appearance. He couldn't deny it, she looked like a woman well loved, and as much   
as he tried he couldn't remember she'd ever looked like this with him. "I ... I   
met your friend." He added.  
  
"I know," was all she replied. She leaned at the doorway, her arms crossed. "What are you doing here?"  
  
With a sigh he stood and looked at her, "I came to see my children. It's been   
quite some time..."  
  
"Damn right," she pushed herself off of the doorframe and stepped closer to him,   
"Can you even remember when was the last time you called Ashlynn?"  
  
"I'm really sorry, but these past weeks have been crazy. The new job, the new   
town and Danielle...," he stopped, realising his slip.  
  
"Danielle," she raised a brow, but she wasn't angry, he realised. If he saw any   
emotion in her eyes it was faint amusement. What had happened to the bitter,   
frustrated woman he'd met the last time he'd been around? Reminding himself of the stranger in the bedroom he knew the answer.  
  
Still he blushed slightly when he admitted, "Yeah ... she is ... well, we're   
seeing each other."  
  
A smile played around her lips, "I see. Well, I hope she is nice." She shook her   
head and he could see the laughter in her eyes. "About the children. They are   
with my mom. But of course you can go and see them. They'll be so happy, at least Ashlynn will be, with David ... he doesn't really miss you." She saw him flinch and amended, "Sorry, I think that didn't come out the way I wanted. I don't mean that he doesn't know you, he does. But for a two year old the people around him are the most important. That's all."  
  
"I know," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "As much as I hate it, I   
have to accept it, I suppose. I love David and Ashlynn, you have to believe me."  
  
"I know," she replied. "You just have other priorities at the moment."  
  
His head snapped up and he looked at her sharply, but there wasn't anger in her   
eyes, just a deep knowledge and he suddenly remembered that her father had acted   
similar around her. Not eager to discuss the subject any further he nodded   
towards the bedroom, "How long do you know each other?"  
  
She seemed to consider her answer, but then said, "We go way back, Brent. I met   
him when I was sixteen years old."  
  
He stared at her while the memory of a conversation slowly surfaced, something   
Willow had once said to him.   
  
(*Don't be angry with her Brent. She loves you the best way she can.*   
  
*I know, Willow, but sometimes she ... I don't know ... she seems far away ...   
she doesn't want to talk about it, but ... is there someone I should know about?*  
  
*There has been someone. But there's really no reason to talk about it, they can   
never be together. All Buffy can do is move on and you should be glad she does it with you, because she is a really special girl.*  
  
*Yes, she is.*)  
  
"It's him, isn't it," he asked, suddenly understanding why the stranger had   
seemed so close to his wife, so protective and possessive.  
  
"Huh?," she looked at him in confusion.  
  
"I know you never talked about it, but somehow I felt ... and I asked Willow. She said there'd been a man, but you couldn't be together. Is it him?"  
  
"Yes," she answered without hesitation, her eyes gazing straight into his.   
  
"And you love him?"  
  
"Yes, I love him very much. And the children love him. He's been wonderful with   
them. I don't want you to feel guilty about it or bad," she added quickly.   
"Maybe," she bit her lower lip, "maybe you could be glad that their mother's new   
friend is so good with them."  
  
Brent studied her face for a long moment, then sighed and nodded, "I suppose I   
should. Not that I like the idea that David might call him Dad," he saw the   
protest in her eyes and held up a hand, "he is a little boy and it's only   
understandable that he will turn towards a man who is constantly around him. But   
that's probably the price I have to pay for being successful in my job." He   
frowned slightly and then asked, "What's he ... What's his name by the way?"  
  
"Angel."  
  
"Angel? An unusual name, wouldn't you say? Never mind, what's he doing?"  
  
"Several things. He's financially independent. Why?"  
  
"Just curious I think," Brent replied. "Alright then. I think I'll better leave   
you on your own now. I'm going to take the kids for some hours. Unfortunately I   
have to be back in New York tomorrow noon, so I'll be taking a late flight."  
  
"Sure, as I said, they'll be happy to see you. Tell mom, I'm calling her later."  
  
"Okay," he nodded and was already walking towards the door, when he turned again   
and looked at her, "As much as I hate to admit it Buffy, but I think I never saw   
you so happy before."  
  
She smiled in response, "That's because I am happy. Have a nice day with the   
kids."  
  
"Yeah," he grinned, "and you with ... well, whatever you are doing."  
  
When he was out of the door, Buffy smiled to herself and then began to laugh,   
God, what a morning.  
  
End Chapter Fourteen  



	16. It's Like A Dream

AN: There are a lot of people around referring to Cordelia as the "former Maybqueen" btw.  
  
  
Chapter Fifteen: It's Like A Dream  
  
"He should've been here since an hour," Buffy said nervously walking up and down   
at the window of her mother's house. She hadn't seen Angel since the last   
weekend. He'd left on Sunday evening and an emergency case Gunn was running   
had kept him in L.A. the whole week. But it was Friday night and the former   
vampire had called only three hours ago that he was on his way. In fact they were all on their way because Giles was staying in Sunnydale for the weekend and they would all meet him at Willow's house where he was staying for the time.  
  
"Calm down, honey," Joyce smiled at her daughter from her spot on the sofa where   
she had been reading a book to David. The boy had fallen asleep after some time   
and his head was resting in his grandmother's lap.  
  
"Yeah, calm down mom," Ashlynn agreed, "Angel will be here soon. He loves you."  
  
Raising a brow Buffy turned towards her daughter, "And how do you know that?,"   
she asked.  
  
"Because we talked about it. Last Sunday in the park, when you were gone with   
David for a moment, I asked him, if his intentions were honest."  
  
The former slayer was stunned for a moment while Joyce bit her lower lip not to   
laugh out loud. Buffy had to clear her throat before she could speak again, "Uhm   
... well ... What do you know about honest intentions?"  
  
"Dad was talking about it. When he took us to the zoo on Saturday," Ashlynn   
looked at her mother with serious eyes.   
  
"I see," the blonde replied, biting her cheek. "Well, and Angel told you he loved me."  
  
"Hmmm," the girl said and smiled, "he told me he loved you since you were a   
teenager," now she giggled, "and then he said he would only leave if you told him so. Mom," Ashlynn asked concerned when she saw tears forming in her mother's   
eyes, "are you okay?"  
  
Buffy gave her a brilliant smile, "Perfectly fine, darling. You like Angel, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah, he's nice. He always plays with me, he talks to me," she looked down in   
her lap, "not like dad."  
  
"Oh, darling," the former slayer walked over to her daughter and kneeled down in   
front of her. "Your dad loves you very much, he's just so busy at the moment. But never doubt that he loves you."  
  
"He said he loved me," Ashlynn sniffed a little bit, "but people who love each   
other want to be with each other. And dad didn't call for over eight weeks."  
  
Buffy stroked the girl over her head, then cupped her chin, so that she had to   
look into her eyes, "Your dad had just started a new job, he has a new apartment   
...."  
  
"And a new girlfriend," her daughter remarked.  
  
"He told you?," her mother was surprised.  
  
Ashlynn nodded, "He said she is nice and she wants to meet me," she glanced at   
the sleeping form of her brother, "us. But mom, I don't want to go to New York.   
And I don't want to see this Danielle."  
  
"But maybe she is nice," Buffy tried to improve her daughter's mood. "After all   
your dad married me once and you like me too."  
  
"Yeah," her daughter wasn't really convinced.   
  
"And I promise you don't have to go to New York if you don't want to," the former slayer added. "Your dad will understand it. Maybe they can come here for a weekend and you can get to know each other. What do you think?"  
  
"'kay," Ashlynn nodded.   
  
"Better now?"  
  
"Hmmm." It still didn't sound happy. So Buffy pulled her daughter with a sigh to   
her. Over the head of the girl she met her own mother's eyes and saw   
understanding there. She could remember a similar conversation between them only   
too clearly.   
  
When the doorbell rang Ashlynn pulled back and her mood had brightened in an   
instant, "That's Angel. I'll go." And with this she ran to the door and pulled it open. Beaming at the former vampire, she threw her arms around his waist.  
  
"Hey," he chuckled at the unexpected greeting and curiously looked at Buffy who   
had followed her daughter. "What happened?" But the former slayer just shook her   
head in the negative and her eyes were signalising him she would explain later. So he turned his attention back to the girl still clinging to him. "Ashlynn," he   
said and when she looked up he reached into his pocket and produced a book for   
her. "I brought you something."  
  
"For me?," her eyes went wide with joy and she pushed the little pang away that   
her father hadn't brought her anything last weekend. Angel at least seemed to   
really like her. "Thank you," she breathed, holding the book with trembling   
fingers. She gestured for him to bent down and when he did she kissed him soundly on the cheek. Then she turned and stormed away, "Grandma, grandma, Angel brought a book for me! Look!"  
  
Angel chuckled again but he sobered when he saw the tears in Buffy's eyes, "Hey,   
is something wrong?," he asked and opened his arms.  
  
She went into them and they held each other for a moment. "Later," she mumbled   
against his chest and then breathed deeply, "I'm so glad you are here. You don't   
know what this meant to her. Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome," he replied and pressed her even closer for a moment, then   
pulled back. "I'm sorry we are late. It's Cordelia's fault. She couldn't decide   
on a dress," he rolled his eyes and made Buffy smile. "Just let me say hello to   
your mom and then we should go. I'm sure they're already waiting for us with   
dinner."  
  
"Probably," she replied and reluctantly left his arms.   
  
He walked into the living-room and smiled, "Hi Joyce," he said and the older   
woman (well, not really older) smiled back. They'd met already last Sunday when   
he and Buffy had collected the kids and to his surprise she seemed very   
supportive to their relationship. But then, he was human now and her major   
problem with him had always been the fact that he was a vampire.  
  
"Hello, Angel. It seems wherever you go, the females are smiling," she looked at   
her grand-daughter who was flipping happily through the new book and then at   
Buffy who was smiling now as well. Smiling at both of them, she added, "See you   
tomorrow them."  
  
"Bye mom," Buffy leaned down and kissed her mother on the cheek, then she and   
Angel left the house.   
  
As soon as she closed the door Angel stopped her, "Will you tell me now what was   
happening in there?"  
  
She sighed deeply and looked at him, "Ashlynn has a hard time with her father so   
far away. She thinks he doesn't care for her anymore and it hurts her. I can   
understand her so well, Angel, and still can't really help. Only her father could, and although I believe Brent that he loves his children ...," she trailed off.  
  
He reached out and stroked her cheek with his thumb, "I will never understand how a job can be more important than your own family. I mean I realise that couples are getting divorced and all, but to move that far away that you can only see your kids at some weekends or during holidays," he shook his head. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you even more sad with this."  
  
"No," she covered his hand on her cheek with her own, "you didn't. In fact you   
did the perfect thing with your present."  
  
"I've got something for David as well, but he was sleeping," he said and made her smile.   
  
"How did I ever manage to live without you," she asked in wonder.  
  
"Well hopefully you won't have to do it again," he replied and kept his voice as   
casual as possible, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. She had said she loved him, but he wasn't sure how she thought about a permanent commitment. The whole week he'd made inquiries about houses in Sunnydale and had finally found one, he'd looked at just before.   
  
That had been the real reason they had been late, but he didn't want to tell her   
yet. He wanted her and the children to live there with him, but he wasn't sure if she was ready for it.  
  
"Hey," came a loud voice from the convertible, "are you coming at any time soon   
or are we forced to watch this PDA the whole evening?"  
  
They both chuckled at Cordelia's mocked annoyance, Angel pressed Buffy quickly to him, then they turned towards the car.  
  
  
End Chapter 15.  



	17. An Evening With Friends

Chapter 16 : An Evening With Friends  
  
  
"Come in, come in," Willow ushered the people in front of her door inside and   
flashed them a smile. Cordelia was her old self and Buffy ... The former slayer   
seemed to light up from the inside whenever Angel was around. Ever since they had worked out their issues the blonde was radiating with happiness and in the former vampire's eyes there was an expression of contentment and joy that warmed the red-head's heart.  
  
"Is everyone here already," Buffy asked and craned her neck to see who was   
sitting in the living-room. She frowned, "No kids?"  
  
"No," Willow shook her head and grinned, "They are with my mom. We have a   
children-free evening and night. Even Xander left his little ones with his mom.   
Ever since Mark was born, Mrs. Harris has suddenly realised she's got a son," she explained looking at Angel.  
  
"So this is an only-adults night," Cordelia said with a grin. "Too bad Giles is   
around, no way we can tell dirty jokes then. We would embarrass him all the   
time."  
  
"He certainly blushes easily," the former witch agreed. Tara and Willow had lost   
all their witchcraft as soon as the hellmouth had been closed, now the trio was   
running a software company with great success. She turned to Buffy, "He doesn't   
know about Angel yet," she told her. "I mean of course he knows about Angel being human and all, but I didn't want to tell him about you two on the phone." She gave them a concerned glance, suddenly feeling that she should've told him after all.  
  
"That's okay, Willow," the former vampire put a comforting hand on her arm,   
"Until last weekend it wasn't even official. But he does know I'm coming   
tonight?"  
  
"Yes," the red-head replied with a smile.   
  
Angel had seen the former watcher only once after he became human. It had   
actually been in New York shortly after he'd married Anna. Giles had been staying there for the promotion of his first book and Anna, being a reporter, had to write a review about the book and made an interview with the author. The meeting had been under friendly terms, but Angel always felt a bit uneasy around Giles.  
  
It wasn't that he didn't like him, actually he liked him a lot and admired the   
Englishman for his great knowledge about demons, but ever since he'd lost his   
soul for a second time and his demon had killed Jenny and tortured the former   
watcher he couldn't get over the images in his head. Angel wasn't on his usual   
guilt-trip anymore, but it was one thing to let go of past crimes - even if one   
hadn't committed them - and another to be confronted with one of your victims, who had also lost someone by the same hands.  
  
So he took a deep breath and ran a nervous hand through his hair, before he   
walked after Cordelia and Gunn into the living-room. He felt Buffy squeezing his   
hand and flashed her a quick smile.   
  
"Giles?," Willow smiled at the ex-watcher who was chatting with Oz and Tara.   
Xander and Anya were sitting near by but seemed to be engaged in a private   
discussion.   
  
The former watcher looked up and a warm expression entered his eyes when they   
fell on the blonde, "Buffy," he smiled warmly at her, got up and enclosed her in   
a strong hug. "It is so good to see you."  
  
"You too," she said when they pulled back. "It has been so long."  
  
"It has," he agreed, then his eyes wandered to the other newly arrived. "Cordelia and this has to be the new husband of yours, right?"  
  
The brunette grinned, "That's Gunn. Gunn that is Giles, he probably knows more   
about demons you can ever imagine." Gunn nodded at the Englishman.  
  
"Angel," Giles held out his hand and the former vampire took it at once.   
  
"Giles, so good to see you."   
  
"It's really wonderful to be here," the former watcher smiled. "It's like coming   
home." He shook his head and laughed, "Maybe it classifies me as mad that I see   
this town as my home. But we went through so much here."  
  
Everyone looked at him and nodded, but a special look passed between former   
watcher and vampire. There was no resentment in Giles' eyes, only a certainty   
that the past was over and done and that nothing could turn back the years. Angel released a breath he hadn't even realised he was holding and relaxed instantly.   
  
Xander broke the mood, when he suddenly rubbed his hands on his thighs and asked, "Now that everybody's here can we start dinner? I'm famished!"  
  
*  
  
"I can't believe you had a cyber-relationship with a demon," Tara shook her head   
and smiled at Willow. They were all sitting around the table in the dining-room   
over homemade Pizza and were laughing about old times.  
  
"But I did. It was the first time a boy seemed to be interested in me," the   
red-head shuddered thinking back to Moloch, who'd been trapped in a book for   
centuries and then released into the Internet. "And then they took me, but Buffy   
and Xander arrived in time and of course in the end we won."  
  
"I still think the funniest thing was when Xander wanted to use a love-spell on   
me," Cordelia grinned.  
  
"Oh, oh, I remember," Willow said excitedly, "And then all the girls in school   
had the hots for him."  
  
"All the women in Sunnydale," Buffy said dryly. "Even my mom."  
  
Giles swallowed the bit of pizza he'd been chewing, "Excuse me?"  
  
"I obviously never told you," the former slayer chuckled. Then she looked at Gunn who seemed lost as was Anya, "Xander was angry with Cordelia because she was giving him the cold shoulder and so he asked Amy to do a love-spell for him. It backfired and all the women were after him."  
  
"There you see what the men do for you," the black man grinned at his wife.  
  
"You never used a love-spell on me," Anya shot her husband a sharp look, but   
didn't comment any further.  
  
Angel chuckled, and Buffy turned to her lover, "What?"  
  
"Not only humans had the hots for him," he said.  
  
"Oh no, you don't," Xander protested.   
  
"What?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What?" came from all sides.  
  
"Come on, tell us," Buffy begged and grinned at the former vampire.  
  
He grinned as well and leaned back in his chair while Xander blushed in   
embarrassment, perfectly aware what was going to come. "Well, Drusilla fell for   
him as well."  
  
"Excuse me, please?," the former slayer stared at him as did all the others.   
"Drusilla? Loony-tunes Drusilla? Spike's Drusilla?"  
  
Angel took Buffy's hand in his and kissed it, not noticing that Giles raised a   
curious brow. They hadn't told him about Buffy and Angel yet and so he watched   
them with surprise. "The very same," the former vampire confirmed. "Angelus was   
at your house and saw Xander in your bedroom window. He jumped up on the roof and pulled him out there, sending Xander flying down on your lawn. He was about to bit him when suddenly Dru appeared and saved his life."  
  
Buffy had watched Angel telling the story and she wanted to cry in happiness when she heard him talking about it with nothing but a smile in his eyes.   
  
"You can't be serious," Cordelia laughed hard, "you mean Xander owes Drusilla his life?"  
  
"Yeah," the former vampire confirmed. "She was allover him."  
  
"Xander, Xander," Willow shook her head, grinning broadly, "it seems there's   
stuff even I don't know about."  
  
"Very funny," he muttered under his breath. Then he suddenly grinned as well,   
"And I remember a night when we went to that vampire-wannabe club and Angel was   
all unfriendly and then this guy walked towards us dressed all alike."   
  
They all laughed at the memory, when Giles cleared his throat and looked at his   
former slayer, "Uhm ... Buffy, you and Angel, is there anything I don't know   
about you?"  
  
"Oh," Buffy slapped her own forehead. "We forgot. Sorry Giles," she gave him an   
apologetic smile, "Yes. There is," she smiled at the man beside her, "we're back   
together."  
  
The Englishman smiled irritated, "But I thought you were married, Angel."  
  
"No, I'm divorced. For more than a year now."  
  
"Ah," Giles nodded. "Well than I say congratulations. Somehow I always felt this   
would happen in the end."  
  
"Then you knew more than we," Angel replied.   
  
"But we're sure glad, it worked out that way," Buffy added and leaned her head at   
the former vampire's shoulder. In response he planted a kiss on her skull.  
  
"I always thought the way the Initiative-guys were running around, with their   
uniforms, masks and teaser-guns was just laughable," Anya said out of the blue.   
  
Buffy quickly glanced up at Angel, but he was relaxed and didn't mind the subject at all. He just looked at her and smiled.  
  
"Talking about the Initiative, does anybody know what happened to Riley?," Tara   
asked.  
  
"No," Buffy shook her head. "I only know that he went to South America after he   
left."  
  
"I believe," Giles took a sip from his wine and when he saw everyone looking at   
him expectantly, he continued, "I heard about a demon hunting team fighting in   
Brasil in the last battle, shortly before we closed the hellmouth. Only a few of   
them survived, but I can't say if Riley was one of them or if he was even there."  
  
"He might have been," the former slayer said, then shrugged, "I never tried to   
contact him and he didn't try either. We might have been together for a while,   
but we were never really close."  
  
"Yeah," Xander nodded, thinking about the last conversation he'd had with Buffy   
when Riley had left Sunnydale. He had to laugh inwardly at his attitude then.   
Seeing Angel and Buffy together now it seemed almost ridiculous.  
  
"How's Wesley by the way?," Giles asked taking another piece of pizza.  
  
"He's fine," Angel replied. "I'm sure he would've like to see you, but he isn't   
in the States at the moment. He went to England for a short vacation. He planned   
it before we heard you were coming to Sunnydale. But he sends his best wishes,   
also for the new book."  
  
The former watcher smiled, "Ah, the new book."  
  
"I hear it's a great success already," Xander was happily chewing his pizza.  
  
"That's what I'm told," Giles confirmed. "Now, Willow told me you've planned a   
trip with all the children tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to it."  
  
"It'll be great," the red-head was all excitement. "We're driving to a nice spot   
outside Sunnydale. Mrs. Summers is coming too and we're going to have a picnic.   
Like a big family. It's going to be fun."  
  
"Yeah," Xander agreed. "And we'll have lots of junk-food."  
  
"Xander," Buffy warned. "I don't want my children to be sick in the evening only   
because of that stuff."  
  
"Where is everyone staying for the night?," Giles asked curiously.  
  
"Cordy and Gunn are staying with us," Xander announced. "Buffy's apartment is too small and they wouldn't be able to sleep there anyway, with all the moaning going on."  
  
"Xander!," Buffy blushed with embarrassment and burried her face in Angel's   
chest. The former vampire shot Xander a warning glance.  
  
"What?," he grinned, "Do you want to tell me you can keep your hands off of each   
other at night after all the time you were apart and especially after you haven't seen each other for the whole week?"  
  
"Which leads me to another question?," Giles said and smiled fatherly at Buffy   
and Angel. "What will happened with the two of you? I mean you say you are   
together now, but what do you intent to do with it?"  
  
End of Chapter 16.  



	18. I Want My Life To Be With You

  
Part 17: I Want My Life To Be With You  
  
  
Buffy closed the door of her apartment behind her and for the tenth time gave   
Angel an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry, but I should've warned you that Giles   
tends to go into full father-mode sometimes."  
  
"It's okay," he assured her and pulled her into his arms.  
  
"I didn't want him to corner you like that. After all we're only back together   
for a week and the last thing on your mind probably is a commitment and ..."  
  
He silenced her with a passionate kiss and when they pulled back they were both   
slightly breathless.  
  
"Wow," she whispered.  
  
"Yeah, wow," he agreed. "Buffy," he put a finger under her chin to make her look   
at him, "I don't mind Giles asking, actually there's something I want to ask you   
myself, but I wasn't sure if it was the right time ..."  
  
"What?", she interrupted him.  
  
"I ... I really don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or pressed and so ..."  
  
"Angel," she said impatiently. "Just tell me."  
  
He let go of her and walked over to the living-room, "It wasn't Cordelia's fault   
we were late tonight," he began and poured himself a glass of red wine. He knew   
that Buffy liked to drink red wine from time to time and although he wasn't much   
for alcohol, he welcomed it now. He was terribly nervous, although he told   
himself he didn't need to be. All she could say was no and that wouldn't mean   
their relationship was over. But he wanted it so badly, it was so important to   
him that he couldn't control his nerves.  
  
"It wasn't Cordelia," she repeated his words and waited for him to continue.  
  
"No," he took a sip from the wine, "the reason we were late was that we were   
looking ... no, I was looking at a house here in Sunnydale."  
  
"You did what?"  
  
He finally turned back to her and his words came out in a rush, "I don't want to   
be so far away from you, so I thought about moving to Sunnydale. So Cordelia   
searched the net for me. She came up with three possibilities. An apartment and   
two houses. The apartment wasn't an option, and so we looked at the houses. One   
of them is really nice and I signed the contract just before I arrived at your   
mother's house." He took another big gulp from the wine and looked at her.  
  
"I see," she said slowly and stepped closer. "Well I for once like the idea of   
you living closer to us."  
  
He put the glass down, then shoved his hands into his pockets and clenched them   
into fists inside, "That's not all."  
  
"It is not?", she raised her brows.  
  
"No," he shot her an irritated glance. Her attitude was making him even more   
nervous than before. "The house I rented is really nice. There's even an option   
to buy it. It has six bedrooms and a nice garden and it's ... it's actually too   
big for me. But I thought you might consider ... well, that is I hoped ...," he   
took a deep breath, "would you consider to move in with me. You and the kids?"  
  
She stared at him. The expressions on her face changed so quickly that he   
couldn't make out their meaning. After some minutes he became impatient.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Huh?," she asked as if she hadn't understood what he'd said.  
  
"I ..."  
  
Suddenly she seemed to snap out of her daze, "Yes."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said yes, the answer is yes." She flung herself into his arms and sprinkled   
kisses all-over his face, "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes," she said again and again. "Oh yes, I want to live with you. I want to wake up with you, go to bed with you and don't worry about the kids. They love you anyway. David adores you and Ashlynn might even be a little bit in love with you." She beamed up into his smiling face. "Did I already tell you that I love you."  
  
"Yeah," he kissed the tip of her nose, "but you can say it as often as you want.   
I'll never grow tired of it." He felt like the king of the world and he wanted to shout it out, how much he loved her and that she was his now. And nobody, he   
vowed to himself, nobody would take her away from him again.  
  
"Good," she smiled, "because I intend to say it more often. Twice a day at   
least," she considered her words and then amended, "no, more often. Well, we'll   
just have to wait and see," she decided finally.  
  
"Oh Buffy," his voice was full of emotion, "When?"  
  
"As soon as you want us."  
  
"Tomorrow."  
  
She laughed, "Well, as much as I like the idea, but tomorrow we're going to have   
this picnic with the gang."  
  
"Damn," he grinned. "But maybe on Sunday."  
  
"We should at least ask the kids," she tried to slow down his enthusiasm a little bit, although the joyous expression on his face took her breath away.  
  
"Oh," he seemed a bit disappointed, "yes, of course."  
  
"They'll say yes, I'm sure," she assured him. "They don't like the apartment very much anyway, but I didn't want to stay in the house. With you on the other hand ...," she trailed off and planted a kiss on his Adam's apple.  
  
"God, I can hardly wait, I can't believe you actually said yes."  
  
"Did you really doubt it?"  
  
"I ... I wasn't sure," he admitted honestly, "I thought it might be too fast and   
..."  
  
"But Angel, I waited almost 15 years for this. Nothing can be too fast," she   
kissed him on the mouth. "And now that we have worked that out and we're going to move in with you, can we go over to the really important things tonight?"  
  
"Really important things, huh?," he teased.  
  
"Hmmm," she purred and opened the first button of his shirt, kissing the warm   
skin on his chest. "You smell wonderful," she whispered.  
  
Angel closed his eyes at the sensations her kisses initiated in him. His   
heartbeat accelerated and he could feel the blood rushing through his veins.   
"Buffy," he murmured when her hands moved over his chest and he felt them through the thin material of his silken shirt. It was as if fires were burning wherever she touched him.   
  
"Maybe we should finish this somewhere else," she smiled up at him.   
  
End of Chapter 17.  



	19. Unexpected Discoveries

Chapter 18: Unexpected Discoveries  
  
  
4 weeks later ... the moving in has been going smoothly and now Angel, Buffy and   
the kids are living in his new house.   
  
  
  
"That's not possible," Buffy replied staring at the doctor sitting in front of   
her. "That's simply not possible. I've only been with one man and he's infertile. He told me himself."  
  
Dr. Greene grinned, "Well, possible or not, the tests don't lie, Buffy, you are   
one hundred percent pregnant."  
  
"But ... but..." the former slayer was stunned speechless. Her mind was in   
overdrive. She was pregnant. And it was Angel's, it had to be Angel's, there was   
no other possibility. If the former vampire hadn't told her about his infertility she wouldn't have been surprised. The way they were going at it ... "The only man I've been with was tested to be infertile," she repeated her words from before. "Is it possible that something like that changes?"  
  
"Anything is possible," Barbara Greene replied with a smile on her face. "Maybe   
the tests weren't that thorough before, I don't know."  
  
Buffy shook her head in amazement as the facts really sunk in. She was pregnant   
with Angel's baby. Angel would have a child. Hers and his and then a smile spread over her face. "That's wonderful news," she said. "How far am I along?"  
  
"About four or five weeks I'd say," Dr. Greene said, looking at the sheets in   
front of her. "We will know it exactly as soon as we make an ultrasound. Maybe we should set a date now. How about next week?," she asked, flipping through her   
time-planner.  
  
"Next week is fine," the former slayer nodded. "And I'll bring the father too,   
God, he's going to be so happy," there were tears in her eyes now. "He really   
thought he couldn't have kids."  
  
"I'm glad it's good news," Barbara smiled, "It isn't usual to go to a routine   
check and come back pregnant."  
  
"Probably not, but believe me when I tell you that in my life rarely something   
went the usual way."   
  
*****  
  
"Wow," Willow said in awe at the other end of the line. "And Angel? What's he   
saying about this?"  
  
"Will, I haven't told him yet," Buffy bit her lower lip. "He's in L.A. for the   
day and won't be back before tonight. But I just *had* to tell somebody."  
  
"And so you called me," the red-head's voice sounded happy. "Well, I am your best friend after all."  
  
Buffy heard the noises of a keyboard through the line, "Willow am I disturbing   
something?", she asked.  
  
"No," came the quick reply. "I'm just sending an e-mail while we talk. Now,   
there, ready. Sorry for that Buffy, but it was an important message that had to   
leave the office now," she sighed. "I'm really not sure what's going to happen in here when I stop working in some months."  
  
The former slayer chuckled, "I think Oz and Tara will manage."  
  
"I truly hope so," she let out another sigh. "I don't want to come back and find   
all my files out of order or gone or ..."  
  
"Stop," Buffy grinned to herself, "You're paranoid, Willow. Oz managed the   
business before. Remember you already had a child?!"  
  
"Yeah, I know. But the company has grown so much since then. Well, I can't change it, can I."  
  
"No, I suppose not."  
  
"I just see it's almost one p.m." Willow said looking at the clock on the wall.   
"How about some lunch. We can talk a little bit more about babies and stuff."  
  
"Oh yes," Buffy agreed wholeheartedly, "I want to tell Angel so much, but I want   
to see his face then and for that I can't use the phone. So this lunch-thing is a great idea, gets my mind off for a while, keeps me entertained, so to say. But I have to be at Ashlynn's school at three-thirty to pick her up. I left David with mom before I went to the doctor and pick him up later. So I'm totally free until three-thirty."  
  
"Fine with me. I have to get back to work then. So how about we meet at that new   
coffee shop and have some salad?"  
  
"Great, see you in ... half an hour?"  
  
"Yes, see you then."  
  
  
End Chapter 18.   



	20. Explanations

Chapter 19: Explanations   
  
  
"Hi Buffy," Willow smiled at her approaching friend over the table.   
  
"Hi," with a deep breath the former slayer fell down on the chair, her face   
wearing a disappointed expression. "Sorry, I'm a bit late, but Cordelia called to tell me that Angel would be late."   
  
The red-head studied her friend's face for a moment and then smiled, "Well then   
it'll be dark when he arrives and everything will be much more romantic."  
  
Buffy brightened instantly, "Yeah, right."  
  
"I've already ordered two waters and salads, I hope that's okay with you?"  
  
"Sure," the blonde nodded, then suddenly laughed, "I think Angel's gonna faint.   
He was so sure he couldn't have kids."  
  
"Oh, oh, that reminds me, I talked to Giles about it."  
  
Buffy's eyebrows shot up, "You talked to *Giles*? To *Giles*? About *me* being   
pregnant? Willow!"  
  
"Calm down," the red-head grinned. "He sends his congrats by the way. No, but I   
thought he might have an explanation for all this, I mean for Angel not being   
able to procreate at first and then with you ... well, you know."  
  
"And how do you think Giles would know that or did he become an OB-gyn since last time we saw him?"  
  
"No, of course not, but hellmouth closed or not, Angel is still an ex-vamp and   
you are an ex-slayer, right? So I thought that explanation might need some   
special Watcher-knowledge." Willow sipped from her water the waiter had just   
brought before and watched the blonde with an expression of amusement as the   
words sank in.  
  
"Oh," was all Buffy said and settled back into her chair she had been sitting   
upright on. "Right."  
  
"Okay. And besides being a bit grumpy because he seemed to have female company,   
it's evening in London, you know," the both women grinned, "well, he of course   
went into full watcher-mode and called back. And yeah, it seems that even   
vampires could have had kids ... with slayers, as the slayers vaginal fluid seems to have revitalising qualities."  
  
"Wow," the blonde replied, "you mean that I could've become pregnant on my 17th   
birthday and that Angel's whole 'I can't have kids speech' was for nothing?"  
  
"Not for nothing, vampires are infertile, unless they mate with a slayer of   
course, which is not quite likely, or do you know any vampire-slayer-couples   
besides you two?"  
  
"No," Buffy sighed. "But hello, I'm no slayer anymore."  
  
Willow gulped the water down she'd been drinking and gestured with her hand,   
"Right, but it seems the ex-slayer thingy just changes your strength, not the   
rest of your body."  
  
"Wow again," the blonde said and nodded at the waiter who brought the salads. As   
soon as he was gone, she grinned, "And you talked about this, I mean vaginal   
fluids and stuff, with *Giles*, without him going into total embarrassment   
overdrive?"  
  
"Well," stuffing a tomato in her mouth, the red-head grinned too. "There was some coughing involved, and clearing his throat and stuff."  
  
"I'll bet," Buffy laughed. "Poor Giles, being bothered with something like that." Then she suddenly did a double take, "Did you just say he had female company?"  
  
"Yeah," Willow confirmed. "I don't think it's anything serious, probably Olivia."  
  
"And then you say it's nothing serious? He's seeing this woman for years now. And frankly I'd like to see him happy with a woman. And Angel would too. He's really over this 'I feel guilty because my demon did all that stuff', but if it comes to Giles it's a different chapter."   
  
"But he seemed really relaxed at the dinner we had and during the picnic," Willow stuffed another slice of tomato in her mouth. Thinking about it, she added, "But then this is Angel and he's the master of not showing any emotions. Centuries of practice probably do that to you."  
  
"Yeah," the blonde sighed. "But he's so much better these days. I mean, he laughs a lot, especially with the kids. David is like drooling over him, he adores him so much and last Sunday he called him Daddy. Angel had to struggle really hard not to immediately cry like a baby. And he's good for Ashlynn too, she misses her father and of course Brent hasn't called ever since he was standing in front of my apartment door after the first night Angel spent there." She had to grin at he last words.  
  
"Oh, how I would've liked to see that," Willow grinned as well. "To see Angel all possessive," she giggled, "and with Brent of all people. I never told you before, because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, but he was never one of my favourite people."  
  
"I knew," Buffy said with a smile.  
  
"You did?"   
  
"Willow, you've never been one for hiding your feelings. But if it sets your soul at peace, Brent didn't like you either. In fact he was really repulsed by your chosen lifestyle. To say it in his words 'that's just not healthy'."  
  
The red-head narrowed her eyes, "He actually said that? Well, next time he's   
around I won't try to be polite. Arrrgh. I wished I could still do some   
witchcraft, I would turn him into something slimy or do a spell so he get warts   
or ...," she broke off and gave the ex-slayer a sheepish smile. "Sorry. But he is such a ... hypocrite. I mean, he doesn't care for his own children and allows   
himself to say something about my lifestyle. At least our kids are not   
neglected."  
  
"I still think it's fascinating that the girls don't get the mommies mixed up."  
  
"Yes, isn't it? But they never had problems with it. But to say the truth, I   
never thought I'd end up like this, I mean living happily with Oz *and* Tara, and even sharing Oz with her." She shook her head and laughed, "But then, so many crazy things happened in Sunnydale and compared to this we're almost normal I suppose. But the most surprising thing is that I'm not jealous, I'm just plain   
happy. I probably got used to sleep with two other people in a bed. It's warmer   
too." She grinned at her last statement.  
  
"And your mom seems cool with it now."  
  
"Oh she is," Willow's grin even widened, "she just denies that it's happening.   
With friends she talks about Oz as her son-in-law and Tara is just my best   
friend, but she loves her grand-daughter and can't turn from Amy's charm, so last time when her friend Sara was there, she told her they were twins and both mine."  
  
"She didn't?," Buffy said in disbelief.  
  
"Oh yes," the red-head shrugged, "but I really don't care. At least she's stopped glaring at Tara all the time, that's a great plus. As I said, I didn't see me living with two people at the same time, but when Oz came back all these years ago I wasn't able to decide between those two, I loved them both and still do. I almost couldn't believe it when Oz agreed to live with us both. He liked Tara from the start and the love between them grew gradually, although it's completely different from what we feel for each other, Oz and I, I mean. Maybe that's the reason I'm so comfortable with it. Oz loves me passionately, completely while his feelings for Tara developed from a deep friendship as did hers." She sighed, "But coming back to the previous subject. Did you say Brent didn't call since he came down to Sunnydale four weeks ago."  
  
Buffy nodded and swallowed the piece of lettuce she'd been chewing, "Yeah. And I   
could strangle him. But thanks to Angel she doesn't feel the loss as much as she   
did before." She thought about it for a while and then said, "Maybe it would've   
been good if mom would've remarried as well."  
  
"Maybe," Willow tilted her head, "but then there was Giles and he always acted as if he was your dad and if I recall it correctly the man your mother considered to marry ended up being a robot, collecting ex-wives in a basement."  
  
The blonde shuddered, "Don't remind me. He really gave me the wiggins. And   
remember those cookies he used to bake, making everyone like him and being all   
friendly."  
  
"Oh yeah," the red-head nodded, "he was a good cook, Xander immediately fell in   
love with his pizzas."  
  
They both shared a laugh. Then Willow's eyes suddenly took on a certain   
expression. "What do you think, after telling Angel about the baby, do you think   
he might drop a certain question?"  
  
*****  
  
Buffy stood in the living-room of the house she and kids shared with Angel now,   
staring out into the darkness. She'd arrived back home only an hour ago, after   
she'd brought her children to Joyce. They hadn't been spending a night with their grandmother for the last four weeks and Joyce had kept begging to have them with her again.   
  
So her daughter had decided that this was the perfect opportunity. She wanted to   
be alone with Angel when she told him about the baby, not being disturbed by   
David's wailing or having Ashlynn around who'd refuse to go to bed and regularly   
cuddled up with Angel on the sofa, falling asleep theere in the end so that he hadto carry her into her bedroom. As much as Buffy enjoyed to see her kids with the man she loved, tonight she needed to be alone with him. She could only guess the rush of emotions the news would cause in him.  
  
She whirled around when she heard the key in the door and ran into the hallway   
throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him deeply for a greeting. He was   
laughing when he pulled back and his eyes were shining, "Hey, what a way to say   
hello! Not that I'm complaining, in fact I was looking forward to it, although   
I'd never have dreamt ...,"  
  
She covered his mouth with her fingers and gazed deeply into his eyes, "Shut up," she whispered and again caught his lips with hers.  
  
When they parted again there was concern in his eyes, "Is something wrong?"  
  
"No," she assured him quickly and smiled, "nothing is wrong. Actually   
everything's perfect, it couldn't be any better. But come in and sit down. We   
both need to talk."  
  
"We do?," he asked and let her pull him to the new leather sofa they'd just   
bought last week. "What ever about?"  
  
"About ... well," she beamed at him when they sat down, looking at each other,   
Angel's face wearing a quizzical expression. "I have some news."  
  
"News, huh?," he still didn't look more intelligent.  
  
"Uh-huh. And good ones. At least I hope they are good. Well, for me they are   
good, and I suppose they'll be good for you too, although of course we never   
talked about it, but ..."  
  
"Buffy."  
  
"Uh, sorry, babbling. But I'm nervous."  
  
"Who could've guessed," he teased. "You wanted to tell me some news."  
  
"Right, the news," she bit her lower lip and entwined her hands in her lap,   
"okay, you know that I had a date with my OB-gyn this morning. A routine check,   
so nothing special, but then it appeared that there was something special after   
all," she again bit her lower lip, then took a deep breath and said, "I'm   
pregnant, Angel. We're having a baby."  
  
Silence.  
  
Angel's eyes widened, he could all but stare at her, it almost seemed as if he   
hadn't understood what she'd told him, if it hadn't been for the shock slowly   
entering his eyes. She was about to reach out for his hand when he suddenly stood up and walked over to the window overlooking the garden, his hands stuffed deeply in his pockets.  
  
She watched his back, his unmoving form for a while and then cautiously asked,   
"Angel?" He still didn't react, so she stood up and went over to him, but stopped at a foot distance, not touching him. She cleared her throat, "I know this came like a shock to you, because you thought you couldn't have children and for this we never took precautions while making love, but Giles said that it's a slayer-vampire thing," she let out a short laugh, "funny if you consider that we are both human now, but not so average as it seemed. Slayer vaginal-fluid had revitalising qualities and ..."  
  
She couldn't finish because the very moment he turned back to her and the words   
stuck in her throat seeing his eyes. Besides the tears that were standing in them there was such tenderness, such joy and peace shining from them, she couldn't help her own eyes filling as well. Then he suddenly reached out, pulled her to him and held her so tight that she had problems to breathe properly. His voice was muffled in her hair, when he finally spoke, "God, Buffy. You can't possibly know what that means to me."  
  
"Maybe not," she against his chest. "But I can feel it now," she joked  
  
Immediately he loosened his embrace and concern was in his eyes, "Did I hurt   
you?," he asked searching her eyes.  
  
She reached out and touched his cheek, "No," she said with a smile.   
  
He cupped her face between his hands and kissed her tenderly. Gazing deeply in   
her eyes, he whispered, "This is like a dream coming true. I mean being with you   
after all," his voice broke and he had to clear his throat to continue, "it's   
almost unreal, but this ... a child ... with you. Yours and mine," he kissed her   
again, not finding the words to express his feelings. The kiss was sweet, then   
passionate, then sweet again and Buffy could smell the salt of the happy tears   
they were sharing.   
  
When they were finally out of breath they were smiling into each others eyes,   
then embracing each other again. "I want to make love to you now," he whispered   
in her ear, "I want to show you how much I love you, how much this means to me."  
  
"I want that too," she replied and planted a kiss on his jaw.  
  
With entwined hands they climbed up the stairs to their bedroom.  
  
  
End Part 19.  



	21. More Revelations

Chapter 20: More Revelations  
  
  
Buffy woke up to the wonderful feeling of a warm hand stroking her bare belly.   
Seconds later that hand was replaced by silky lips alternatively kissing or   
moving with silent words. She lay perfectly still, not wanting to interrupt this   
perfect moment. Of course she knew what he was doing, he was talking to the baby   
that was safely protected in her womb.  
  
After they'd made gentle love, Angel being hesitant at first, irrationally afraid of hurting the baby, so Buffy had taken the lead this time, they'd been falling asleep in each others arms.   
  
The former slayer was washed in the emotions Angel's actions caused in her. Not   
only the feeling of his lips on her skin but more because of the deeper meaning   
behind his actions. He was happy, completely, genuinely happy and it showed in   
his eyes. All the shadows that had been so much a part of him were gone from   
them, only some residual hint that he'd gone through a lot showed his past, but   
only people knowing him very well could see it.   
  
Suddenly his hair tickled her skin and she couldn't suppress a giggle. With a   
smile in his eyes he looked up into her face and their eyes met. This was   
definitely heaven, Buffy decided and thought one couldn't probably be happier.   
"Hey," he said softly and his lips moved up to meet hers.  
  
"Hey back," she replied when they parted again.   
  
"Sleep well?"  
  
"Hmmm," she made and stretched like a contented kitten in the sun. "Perfect."  
  
"Good," he rolled on his stomach and gazed at her, "do you even realise how   
beautiful you are?"  
  
She blushed slightly, although she should be used to his constant compliments by   
now, she told herself. "Why, thank you sir. Pregnant women need this, especially   
when they're looking like houses later on."  
  
"You'll never be anything but beautiful to me. I can't wait to see you grow big   
with our child," he confessed with deep honesty once more touching her stomach   
with his hand.  
  
She rolled her eyes, "You will change your mind, believe me, when I'm like a   
whale, not able to stand up on my own in the end or paddle around like some   
penguin."  
  
"No," he replied without hesitation. "Nothing would change my mind. Don't you   
remember, I told you once, if you were covered in slime I would still love you."  
  
"Yes, I remember," she whispered and stroked his cheek. "This is like a miracle.   
Our very own, private miracle. We're going to have a baby, Angel. You and I," she   
couldn't stop the tears now running from her eyes, "I can't believe this is   
really happening. Although the hellmouth is closed I still expect some evil demon to take this away from us again, like the Powers took the day."  
  
He averted his eyes for a moment and when he looked back at her she wanted to   
kick herself for the remark. And when he miserably whispered, "I'm sorry," she   
couldn't do anything but reach out and take him in her arms.  
  
"No," she said, "I am the one to be sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. And it wasn't your fault, not really. If I would've been in your place I would've done the same. And anyway, we shouldn't let this ruin our happiness. We have all we wanted now, that's all that matters. Past pain is in the past and should stay   
there."  
  
She heard him taking a deep breath and then he slowly pulled back. "You're   
right," he agreed and to her joy the pain was gone from his eyes again. "Talking   
about the baby and happiness, who else does know it besides Willow and Giles."  
  
"Nobody. I actually wanted to tell you first, but I was so excited and didn't   
want to talk to you through the phone and just *had* to tell someone. And then   
Willow called Giles, but only to find out why it was possible. But Willow   
assured me she wouldn't tell anybody else and I trust her in this."  
  
"So your mom and the children don't know?"  
  
"No," she confirmed. "Not that this is of any interest for David anyway. We will   
tell him of course, but he will just smile and say 'fine' or something," she   
smiled thinking of her son. "He isn't old enough to really understand what it   
means."  
  
"Probably," Angel agreed. "What about Ashlynn?"  
  
"We'll just have to wait and see, but I don't expect her to be a problem. She   
loves you. And when I was pregnant with David she was excited."  
  
He smiled and there was suddenly an odd expression in his eyes, Buffy couldn't   
quite put her finger on, "What?," she asked.  
  
"Nothing ... well, I was just thinking what you're going to say to her?"  
  
"Say to her? That she's going to get a sister or brother in about eight months,   
why?"  
  
"It's quite some news for a little girl, don't you think," he asked, the look in   
his eyes still not gone and the former slayer was getting a bit annoyed with his   
attitude.  
  
"Angel, are you going to tell me what this is all about or what? You're behaving   
strange."  
  
"Do I now?," he asked and grinned. "I was just thinking, you know, I mean you're   
going to give her some news, so ... would it be too much of a shock to tell her   
anything else?"  
  
"Anything else? What do you mean?," to say she was confused now was putting it   
mildly. What the hell was he talking about? "What do you want me to tell her?"  
  
"You could for example tell her that we're going to get married," he said and the teasing expression was instantly gone from his eyes. Now they were watching her seriously, hopefully and was she imagining it or was he really holding his   
breath. God, he was cute when he was like this, so insecure, still expecting her   
to say no when he offered her to make her most secret dreams come true.  
  
For a moment she considered to play along, but she knew she couldn't do it,   
couldn't tease him with something that was so important to him. So she slowly   
nodded, "I could do that too," was all she said.  
  
"Is that a yes?"  
  
"Was it a proposal?," she shot back.  
  
"You know it was," he replied but began to smile again when he saw the expression in her eyes, the joy that was radiating from them.  
  
"Then the answer is a yes."  
  
Instantly she was in his arms, "Oh, Buffy," he murmured in her hair, "Buffy,   
Buffy," he repeated her name again and again and she could feel his body tremble   
for a moment, then he pulled back and kissed her soundly on the mouth. "I love   
you."  
  
"And I love you. Don't you know that becoming your wife and having a child with   
you was what I always wanted but never allowed myself to dream?" It was her term   
to kiss him now. "But we should better get up and see mom and the kids. There's   
really a lot we have to tell them."  
  
***  
  
Joyce greeted them with a smile when she saw them coming into the living-room, as Buffy had entered the house using her key. David jumped up and launched himself at his mother, then stretched his arms out for Angel and the former vampire took him in his arms, holding him close for a moment before putting him down again.   
  
"Hi mom," Buffy smiled at Mrs. Summers but was interrupted when Ashlynn bolted   
down the stairs and hugged first Angel and then her mother.   
  
"Hi," she beamed at them. "I was playing with my dolls upstairs."  
  
"I see," her mother grinned at her.   
  
"Hello Joyce," Angel smiled at his future mother-in-law. He had to inwardly laugh   
at that. Who would've thought.   
  
Mrs. Summers raised a brow, "You both look very happy, is there a reason for it?"  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "Oh mom! But yeah, there's reason, actually there are   
two."  
  
Joyce's second brow rose as well, "Oh?"  
  
"Yes," her daughter confirmed, then looked at Ashlynn, "Honey, why don't we all   
sit down. Mommy and Angel have some news for you all."  
  
As soon as they were seated, Buffy took her daughter's hand, "Ashlynn, you like   
living with Angel in the big house, don't you?"  
  
Ashlynn beamed at her, "Oh yeah," she quickly flashed the former vampire a smile, then looked back at her mother, "It's great." Suddenly a frown appeared on her forehead, "We're not going to leave?"  
  
"No," Buffy assured her quickly. "Not at all. No, quite the opposite," she shortly glanced at her mother. "Angel and I want to get married. What do you think of it?"  
  
"Married?," she asked and looked at her mother for a long moment, then turned her head towards Angel, "Would you be my dad then?"  
  
"I would be your mom's husband, and your step-father, if you want that, but your   
dad will be still your dad," he replied smiling at her, "I don't want to replace   
your real dad, little one."  
  
"But I could say you are my dad, couldn't I. I mean you would come to school   
events and stuff?," she looked at him hopefully and Angel realised that he'd   
completely misunderstood her feelings. She wasn't afraid that he would try to   
replace her father, she was actually hoping he would. Anger welled up inside him   
against the man who didn't seem to care at all how his wonderful, little daughter felt and compassion for a child that felt abandoned and was probably wondering if she'd done something wrong.  
  
He exchanged a quick glance with Buffy and when he saw her nod, he said, "If you   
would want that, I think it'll be alright. I wouldn't mind at all, if that's what you want to know."  
  
The doubt in Ashlynn's eyes was instantly replaced by joy and she beamed, looking back and forth between her mother and he. "Alright, I would like you two getting married."  
  
"Good," Buffy smiled at her daughter and gazed at her own mother who smiled as   
well and was obviously fighting with tears. "And there is something else." She   
could see Joyce's face change. She'd obviously expected them to announce their   
engagement, but she clearly had no idea what was to come next.  
  
The former slayer looked at her fiancée wanting him to announce the other good   
news. He smiled and took Ashlynn's other hand, "Little One, your mother and I,   
well, we're going to have a baby."  
  
Buffy heard her mother gasp in surprise and turned her head. Their eyes met and   
when she nodded Joyce began to smile. How could she not, seeing so much happiness in her daughter's eyes.  
  
"A baby?," the blonde heard Ashlynn ask and turned her attention back to her.  
  
"Yes," Angel nodded, then stroked the girl's cheek.   
  
"Is it like when mom was getting David?," she asked.  
  
"Not exactly. David is your father's son, while I am the father of this new   
baby," he explained.   
  
Ashlynn frowned for a moment and seemed to think about something, then she   
asked, "Could you make it a girl, please? Because I would prefer a sister, you   
know."  
  
Angel and Buffy smiled at each other over her head and then the former slayer   
said, "We can't do anyting about it, honey. We just have to take what we get."  
  
"Oh," her daughter made, then shrugged, "oh well, it's okay. I mean David might   
be annoying sometimes, but I like him. So I guess I will like the new baby as   
well." She turned and looked at her brother who was playing on the ground, "Did   
you hear David, we're going to get another baby."  
  
"Gweat," the little boy replied, but didn't even bother to look up from his toy.  
  
Buffy chuckled, "What did I tell you."  
  
"Oh Buffy," Joyce reached out and took one of her daughter's hands and one   
Angel's, "This is wonderful. And I know how happy you are. It's wonderful news."  
  
"It is," Angel agreed. "There is another thing," he smiled at his future   
mother-in-law, "Could you keep the kids for the day, we would like to drive to   
L.A. and tell it Cordelia, Gunn and Wesley. They are the closest I have for a   
family and I need to tell them personally. But we'll be back tonight. We have   
invited the friends from Sunnydale for dinner to tell them."  
  
"Of course they can stay with me," Joyce replied.   
  
"Is that okay with you honey?," Buffy asked her daughter. "Mom and Angel want to   
go and see some friends, but we'll getting you tonight and later Aunt Willow,   
Uncle Xander and their kids will be at our house."  
  
"Okay," Ashlynn nodded. "But please don't make me play with the little kids   
again," she pleaded. "They are so annoying."  
  
Her mother grinned. "No, I won't, I promise." She looked at her watch, then at   
Angel, "Maybe we should get going now. Otherwise we're never going to make it.   
Don't forget there's some dinner to prepare."  
  
"You are right," her fiancée agreed. "Let's go. And thanks Joyce."  
  
"No problem." She smiled and waved them off. Then she settled back on the sofa   
and looked at her grand-daugher who was smiling happily. How could she ever have   
doubted that Angel was the right man for her daughter, she wondered.  
  
End Chapter 20.  



	22. A Day in L.A.

Chapter 21: A Day In L.A.  
  
Cordelia's eyes widened when Angel strolled through the door of the Hyperion   
hotel around noon. The door shut behind him and she kept staring at it but nobody seemed to follow him.   
  
"Hi," she said, but frowned. Angel. On his own. On a Saturday. In L.A. Something   
wasn't quite right.  
  
"Hello Cordelia," he flashed her a smile and then walked over to his office and   
sat down on his leather chair flipping through the mail.  
  
The brunette's frown became harder and she shook her head before she stood and   
followed the former vampire, stopping before completely entering his office and   
leaning at the doorframe. When he didn't instantly look up she patted her hand   
impatiently against her thigh.   
  
He raised an eyebrow but not his head, "You wanted something?"  
  
"What the hell is going on here?," she asked, watching him through lowered   
lashes.  
  
"What should be going on?"  
  
"You tell me and didn't anyone tell you not to answer a question with another.   
It's very impolite." She crossed her arms in front of her chest, her face clearly showing that she was expecting an explanation.  
  
Angel sighed and put the mail away, then finally looked at her, "Nothing's going   
on here, Cordelia."  
  
"But it is Saturday and you're here."  
  
"And? You're here too, right?"  
  
"Right," she agreed, "but that's just because Gunn had to work on a case this   
morning, but he'll be here soon and ... I'm *so* getting off track here. What I meant was that you're in L.A. On a weekend. On your own. Where's Buffy?"  
  
"Parking the car," he replied, an amused smile playing around his lips.  
  
She relaxed a little bit, "So she is with you, well then I think ... wait, what   
did you just say? She's parking the car? But you never ever let anyone drive that car! And Buffy even can't drive very good."  
  
"She can drive very well," he said, grinning now, "and it's her car as well as   
mine."  
  
"Her ...," further thoughts were interrupted when Cordelia felt a hand on her   
shoulder.  
  
"Hi Cordy, nice to see you," Buffy gave her a smile and then walked over to   
occupy the other chair in Angel's office.  
  
"Something odd is going on," Cordelia's gaze went back and forth between former   
vampire and slayer. "There has to be a reason why you're both here."  
  
"There has to be?," the blonde raised a brow.  
  
"Yo, Angel," came Gunn's voice from the hall and a second later he stood beside   
his wife in the doorway. "What's up? Already tired of good old Sunnydale?"  
  
"Not quite," the former vampire smiled slightly, "Hi Gunn."  
  
"Buffy," the black man made a bow. "What honour to have you here."  
  
She giggled in response, "Did anyone tell you that you're crazy."  
  
Gunn put a flat hand over his heart, "Me?," he raised a brow in mocked annoyance, "You can't possible mean me?"  
  
His wife punched him on his arm, "Stop it. She's taken. There's no need to flirt   
and by the way, if you've forgotten it, you're married."  
  
He scratched his blank head, "I knew there was something."  
  
Cordelia shook her head and rolled her eyes, but then turned back to Buffy,   
"Would you now please care to tell us what's going on here. Angel's in full   
cryptic-mood and driving me crazy."   
  
The former vampire winked at Gunn, who grinned and the brunette shot both a nasty look.   
  
"Actually," the former slayer began and instantly Cordelia spun around, "there's   
something we wanted to tell you. Angel and I are getting married."  
  
"Congrats," Gunn gave his friend and the blonde a genuine smile. "But are you   
sure what you're getting yourself into?," he joked.  
  
"Well, of course you're getting married," his wife wasn't impressed. "I pretty   
much expected it sooner or later. And for this you came to L.A.?"  
  
"Well," Angel grinned. "There's something else." He exchanged a loving glance   
with his future wife and then said, "Buffy and I are going to have a baby."  
  
"A ... a baby?," Cordelia stared at both for a long moment, while Gunn grinned   
beside her and winked at the expecting parents.   
  
Seeing that his wife seemed frozen in place he tentatively touched her arm,   
"Cordy, are you alright?"  
  
She ignored him, but her eyes narrowed and under her lowered lashes her eyes shot daggers at the former slayer, "How could you do this to him?," she hissed.  
  
"Cordelia...," Angel tried to interrupt her, but she would have none of it.  
  
"You ... you bitch," she stepped closer to Buffy, "And I thought you loved him.   
How could you betray him?"  
  
"I...," Buffy tried to say, but had no chance to explain.  
  
"And of course because he loves you so much and is the perfect gentlemen he takes it as if it's his," she stopped only a feet away, planted her fists at her hips and stared down at the blonde. "God, if I had known how you really are, I'd never have tried to get you two back together. I really should've known. You were always a superficial, shallow ..."  
  
"Cordelia!" This time Angel's voice was loud and demanding and her head snapped   
around in response.  
  
"What?," she asked irritated.  
  
"This is my baby, Cordelia. I am the father."  
  
"But that's not possible, you told me yourself that you're infertile and ..."  
  
"That's what I thought. But it is possible if the partner is a slayer or an   
ex-slayer for that matter," he explained, his voice soft now.  
  
"Oh," was all she said and wanted to die on the spot. She felt the colour   
creeping up on her face and closed her eyes in embarrassment.   
  
Angel stood up and walked over to her, laying a hand on her shoulder, "But it's   
very sweet of you to protect me like this. I'm really moved."  
  
She slowly opened her eyes again, "Can you please forget about it? Please? God,   
Buffy," a little laugh escaped her lips, "I am so sorry! I just ... God, I'm   
sorry. You must think I'm crazy."  
  
"No," the blonde replied softly. "I just think you love him very much."  
  
Cordelia cleared her throat and frowned before looking at Angel again, "Sorry,"   
she smiled sheepishly.  
  
"No need," he smiled back and kissed her lightly on the cheek, "Thanks for being   
my friend," he whispered in her ear.  
  
"You're welcome," she whispered back and they both shared a smile.  
  
"Alright then, after we now know it's my baby, Buffy and I thought about inviting you for lunch. What do you say? And by the way, where's Wes?"  
  
"Who knows?," the brunette sighed. "He has a girlfriend, did you know?"  
  
"A girlfriend? Wesley?," Buffy burst out laughing.   
  
"Yeah, well. And she's even nice," Cordelia assured her. "Anyway. Said girlfriend took him for a short trip to Mexico. She loves tacos and Tequilla she said," now the brunette grinned, "Wes will be back tomorrow night and only God knows in what condition."  
  
They all laughed thinking about the ex-watcher in some Mexican bar drinking too   
much alcohol and they laughed even harder about the hangover he'd probably have   
afterwards.  
  
***  
  
"This was nice for sure," Buffy unlocked the door to their house and opened it   
wide for Ashlynn and Angel who was carrying a sleeping David.  
  
"What was nice?," the little girl asked.  
  
"Your mother and I went to lunch with Cordelia and Gunn," the former vampire   
explained, shifting David in his arms who was getting heavy. Incredible how much   
a little boy could weight.  
  
"I'll better put him into his bed," Buffy reached out her arms and took David   
from Angel. "He's out cold," she grinned and walked towards the stairs. "Maybe   
you could start preparing dinner?," she gave Angel a pleading look and then   
turned to her daughter, "Ashlynn, please set up the table, will you. There'll   
be," she closed her eyes for a moment, thinking, "Eight of us, seven if you don't want to eat with us, it's up to you."  
  
"I'll eat with you," her daughter replied quickly, not liking the idea of having   
dinner with the smaller kids. When the friends met, they usually got the kids fed and then went to their own meals. But Ashlynn felt much too old already to be treated like them. She liked the idea of dining with the grown ups.  
  
"Little One," Angel stroked over her head and she beamed up at him in response.   
He couldn't have loved her more if she'd been really his, he thought. Genes did   
only count so much. "Take the dishes in the living room, so you won't have to   
carry everything from the kitchen, okay?"  
  
"'kay," she answered with a smile. How could a father not be enchanted by someone like this. How could he just leave town and not care how she was. Brent probably thought Buffy would inform him if something happened to Ashlynn. But how could he bear not to be with her as often as possible. See her smile, see her falling asleep? Angel shook his head, his thoughts would be leaving nowhere and he also had to admit that the idea of having Brent around all the time wasn't that appealing to him. Well, at least he would do his best to make her forget her father was obviously caring so little for her.  
  
"Heavy thoughts?," Buffy's voice came from the doorway.  
  
"No, not really," he replied and opened to fridge to get the vegetables. "I just   
can't understand how Brent can stand to be apart from her."  
  
"Oh Angel," she smiled, her eyes filling, and came over to him, hugging him   
around the waist and leaning her head against his back. "I don't know. To think   
she'd be far away from me ... I would miss her so terribly."  
  
He turned around to face her, "I'm sorry I've brought it up, I didn't mean to   
make you sad," he apologised.  
  
She shook her head, "It's okay. You should've seen him when she was a little   
baby. He was so fond of her. He was carrying her around all the time. But when he realised our marriage wasn't working the way he wanted it, he grew distant. Not only with me, but especially with her." She sighed, "I don't understand what was going on in his head, still don't."  
  
"It's his loss, that's for certain," he told her with a smile. "This way I get to be around her all the time."  
  
"I love you," she stood on tiptoe and kissed him. The kiss was about to deepen,   
when suddenly Ashlynn's voice disturbed them.  
  
"Yuck," she made and covered her eyes. "Will this go on the whole evening,   
because if I'll better go upstairs."  
  
Angel pulled back from his future wife, "You," he said in a playful threat and   
approached her. She began to giggle and ran towards the living-room. He caught up with her and scooped her up in his arms, tickling her and making her squeal.   
  
"N-no, N-no," she stammered between laughter, "Angel, noooo," she shrieked.   
  
He stopped tickling her, but still held her close. Her arms came to encircle his   
neck. "I really love you, little one," he said, kissing her cheek.  
  
"I love you too," she tightened the hold around his neck. "I'm so glad you're   
living with us now. Are you glad?"  
  
"I am," he replied. "Very much," his voice was hoarse and muffled because his   
face was burried in her hair. When he looked up again he saw she was watching   
him. "What?," he asked.  
  
"Grandma said you were alone for very long. Now that you've got us, you won't be   
alone anymore," she kissed him again, then wriggled down from his arms. "I set up the table, but now I've got to go for a moment. April (her doll) needs to go to bed." With this she raced from the room and up the stairs, leaving Angel to get a hold on his emotions. How did he ever get so lucky, he wondered.  
  
End Part 21.  



	23. Table Manners and Ex-Boyfriends

Chapter 22: Table Manners and Ex-Boyfriend-troubles  
  
  
"I don't want to spoil the mood or something," Xander after swallowing the last   
bite of his Fettuccine and licking his lips, "but I somehow got the idea that this dinner had a reason." He looked at Angel and wiggled his brows.  
  
"I th-thought that t-too," Tara nodded and put her fork down.   
  
"Uhm ... well," Buffy began and exchanged a glance with her lover who smiled at   
her warmly.   
  
"Come on Buffster," Xander grinned. "Tell us!"  
  
"You're still behaving like a teenager," Oz shook his head at the dark haired   
man. He would never really understand Willow's childhood friend. Just too weird.  
  
"Maybe Ashlynn wants to tell the news," Angel suggested with a smile at the girl   
who was sitting beside him.  
  
Her eyes shot open, "You mean ...," she swallowed hard, "uh... yeah," she smiled   
a bit shyly. Her mom had told her that she mustn't talk about the news and she   
hadn't expected they would leave it to her. Pride and joy filled her heart and a   
huge smile was on her face when she finally said, "Mom and Angel are getting   
married and I'm going to get a new brother or sister."  
  
The first reaction was silence, but then everyone talked at the same time.  
  
"I told you he'd pop the question."  
  
"Th-that's w-wonderful."  
  
"Well, well, well, you really didn't lose time, did you."  
  
"Congrats."  
  
"I thought vampires couldn't have children. I never met one that ...," Anya's   
voice trailed off when she realised that everyone was looking at her. "What? I've got experience here. And I'm absolutely sure that vampires can't have kids."  
  
"Angel is human now," Xander reminded his wife. "And besides it doesn't really   
matter, because they are expecting one."  
  
"Who says it's Angel's?", she asked mercilessly.  
  
"Anya!" Tara exclaimed, truly shocked by such bluntness.  
  
"Honey, maybe you should just keep quiet here," Xander gave Angel and Buffy an   
apologetic look.  
  
"Actually," the former vampire said with a smile twitching his lips, "Cordelia   
thought the same."  
  
"She did?"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"See, I told you!"  
  
"Why?" Tara's eyes rested on the couple who was holding hands under the table.  
  
"Uhm ... well," Buffy began to explain, "it seems that vampires or ex-vampires   
can only have children with slayers or ex-slayers. It never occurt before   
because they are mortal enemies of course. I mean Angel was the only one with a   
soul."  
  
"You mean, you could've become a teenage-mother?," Xander grinned.  
  
The blonde shot him a nasty look, but his grin didn't fade. "We didn't know then, okay? But Angel thought he couldn't ... I mean ... well, but fortunately it's wrong and so we're expecting a baby in about eight months."  
  
"That's so great," Willow beamed. "I'm still so excited. When you told me   
yesterday I ..."  
  
"Wait, wait," Xander frowned, "Will knew it yesterday already?"  
  
"Uh-huh." Buffy nodded.  
  
"And Cordelia got the news today, right?"  
  
"What's this all about, Xander?," Willow asked, clearly confused.  
  
"They knew it all before I did," he stated and crossed his arms. "We're your   
oldest friends Buff, and you told Cordelia first?!"  
  
"Oh, get over yourself," his wife hit him on the shoulder. "Just ignore him," she added and grinned. "But I'm glad my information about vampires were right. I really thought that wizard lied to me when he told me. Although it would've been surprising, considering that I was about to pull out his brains."  
  
Xander closed his eyes and shook his head, his wife was much better then years   
ago, but 1100 years in the vengeance business were sometimes shining through.   
  
"Hello, children at the table," Willow said with a glance at Ashlynn who had   
listened curiously and of course asked.  
  
"Aunt Anya didn't really pull out someone's brains, right?," there was an   
expression of disbelief in her eyes.  
  
"Of course not, little one," Angel told her, giving the former demon a warning   
glance, "that was just a term to describe that they were ... uh ... fighting. You know arguing."  
  
"Uh-huh," Ashlynn grinned. "I have to remember that expression, it'll be fun in   
school."  
  
"Uhm ... honey," Buffy stroked her daughter's hair, "Maybe you shouldn't use it.   
It isn't all that common and maybe the teachers won't like you using it."  
  
"Okay," the girl nodded with a smile. "Can I go now? I want to read."  
  
"Sure, honey," her mother said and Ashlynn was gone in a flash.  
  
"Anya really," Willow looked at the former demon.   
  
"Sorry," she replied and gave Buffy and Angel an apologetic look. "Sometimes it   
just happens."  
  
"It's okay. At least none of the little ones were around." Willow checked her   
watch, "Talking about kids, I think we need to call it a night soon. They have to go to bed, it's almost nine."  
  
"Tomorrow is Sunday," Xander said with a shrug, "We can all sleep late."  
  
The red-head gave him a pointed look, "*We* would sleep late, but unfortunately   
our little monsters won't. They're up and running at six sharp."  
  
"Oh no," Buffy grinned at her best friend, "Will that's horrible."  
  
"Do tell!," the former witch shook her head, "and they're awfully awake,   
demanding breakfast and stuff and above all attention. Now you try to be   
attentive at six o'clock in the morning." The pure look of horror in her eyes   
made the others laugh.  
  
With a sigh Tara stood, "W-willow is r-right. W-we n-need to g-get going. Amy?   
Emily?," she called for the girls.  
  
"I suppose they are all crawling around in David's room," Buffy stood as well.   
"Why don't we just have a look."  
  
The women walked together up the stairs while the three men stayed in the   
dining-room.   
  
"Now Oz, still not tired of living with two women at the same time?," Xander   
asked.  
  
The former werewolf rolled his eyes and sighed, he would never be able to figure   
out why Willow was so fond of him.   
  
******  
  
"This was a wonderful evening," Buffy said while she was putting the plates into   
the dishwasher.  
  
"Yeah," Angel replied packing the leftovers for the fridge. Their friends had   
left half an hour ago and after getting the children in their beds they were now   
busy cleaning everything up.   
  
"They all took it well," she thought aloud, then shrugged, "but why shouldn't   
they. Even Xander seems to like you now. Who would've thought."  
  
"I'm just a likeable guy," he joked and closed the fridge.  
  
"Oh yeah?," she turned and grinned at him, forgetting all about the plates still   
standing on the counter.  
  
He grinned as well, "Yeah. Or don't you think?"  
  
"Hmmm?," she said and tipped her chin with her forefinger, "likeable? I wouldn't   
go that far." Narrowing her eyes, her voice took a seductive note, "Sexy,   
attractive, good kisser, but likeable ... "  
  
He turned and walked towards the dining-room to get the glasses, "Well, it's a   
good thing then," he said not stopping.  
  
"Good thing?," she gave him a suspicious glance when he returned. "What's a good   
thing?"  
  
"That I'm too tired to do anything but sleep. If you don't like me, you won't   
mind," he told her with a mischieveous glimpse in his eyes, "On the other hand,   
*if* you'd like me after all, I could probably manage to recharge some energy."   
He grinned at her now.  
  
"Angel," she said, her voice a mixture of amusement and warning, "don't tease   
me."  
  
"Why not? You're so easy to tease."  
  
"Am I now?," she abandoned the dishwasher and stepped closer to him. "Are there   
any other things I'm easy with?," she asked, putting her arms around his neck and gazing deeply into his eyes.  
  
"Hey," he grinned, "I thought you don't like me."  
  
"Maybe I've changed my mind after all," she whispered and kissed him.  
  
"So you do like me," he whispered back.   
  
"Hmmm," she made and nibbled at his jaw. "You could probably convice me."  
  
"Maybe ... we ... mmmh ... could ... clean ... mmmh ... up ... tomorrow," Angel   
suggested between kisses. "So ... I ... can ... show you ... mmmh ... just ...   
how likeable ... I am."  
  
She smiled at him, "Good idea."  
  
No words were spoken afterwards and when Ashlynn entered the kitchen the next   
morning the dishwasher was still open.  
  
******  
  
Riley Finn hated New York. Other people didn't like the city, they didn't like   
the fact that they had to live here, but Riley hated it. It had nothing to do   
with the city itself and he knew it. When he and his new wife had moved here he   
had been thrilled. There was a new job waiting for him, a new apartment, a new   
life. After the hellmouth hand been closed and all demons and vampires banished   
from the earth he had met Carla and they'd married after only two months.  
  
And now after four more years they were divorced. And she was living in the   
apartment that had once belonged to both of them. And their little son was with   
her, she had full custody because the judge - a woman of course - had decided   
that Riley's job was too hectic to take care of a two year old. Screw her, he   
thought. She had looked like a bitter old maid and certainly hated men to the   
core.  
  
That was when he'd first started to hate New York. As good as it seemed at the   
beginning, now it was full of bad memories, of lost dreams. He had wanted a   
family and now he got to see his son only once a month. He shook his head, these   
thoughts were leading nowhere. He couldn't just leave and move somewhere else. He had a good job here with a security company and he needed the money, for himself, but also to pay alimonies for Carla and Graham. They'd named his son after his friend who'd died fighting in Brazil.   
  
Riley sighed and drove his car into the parking space in front of the restaurant. Usually he liked his job, but today he hated it. Business lunches on Sundays, talk about suck. But this law firm had problems with the security his company had installed lately and today he was meeting with one of them to discuss the problems and hopefully find solutions. He was just hoping it wouldn't take too much time, he and some friends would be playing Basketball in the afternoon.   
  
He entered the restaurant and told the approaching waiter he had an appointment   
with a client. With a nod the waiter led him to a table where a guy about his age was already waiting for him. He stood up when he saw Riley and held out his hand, "Mr Finn? Good to meet you, I'm Brent Davenport."  
  
End Chapter 22.  



	24. Shopping and More Trouble

  
Chapter 23: Shopping and More Trouble  
  
  
A week later. (Saturday)  
  
  
"That dress looks just great," Cordelia tilted her head and gazed at Buffy who   
was standing in front of a mirror in a very expensive boutique in L.A.  
  
The ex-slayer grimaced, "The only thing is, I won't fit in this in about five or   
six weeks. I tend to grow big soon." She sighed, loving the dress already. She   
and Angel had driven to L.A. this morning where she had a date with Cordelia for   
a shopping trip. Her future husband had insisted on it and just pressed his   
credit card in her hand. With a sigh she had finally given in. She didn't like   
spending his money for expensive clothes, but he'd told her he wanted her to   
enjoy herself and she had to admit it was great fun.  
  
At least for her. Once or twice she had caught Cordelia looking at her with a   
hint of envy, although the former mayqueen covered it quickly. It was no secret   
that the brunette loved expensive designer clothes, but it wasn't a secret either that she could no longer afford them, at least not as regularely as she used to buy them while she was in Highschool and before the IRS had found about her father's tax-practice.  
  
"But you'll fit in again it as soon as you've got the baby," Cordelia interrupted her thoughts. "Nobody would believe that you've got two of them already. You're still as slim as ever."  
  
"Yeah, and I can still eat as much as I want and don't grow fat. I always wonder   
if it's a slayer thing too. I mean, I'm not *really* a slayer anymore, but Giles   
told Willow that the ex-slayer thingy just changed my strength, not the rest and   
he once told *me* that slayers have a high energy burn rate."  
  
"I'm sure all the women in the world envy you," the brunette sighed. "All of us   
who starve themselves to look nice and attractive. If I just remember about the   
huge ice-cream-cone you ate an hour ago. I'd have to skip lunch and dinner after   
something like that."  
  
"That's just hormones. In the early stages of pregnancy I had always cravings for food. First comes the ice-cream-period, later it's chocolate and so on," she   
grinned evilly, "Angel's going to hate me being pregnant in no time."  
  
"No, he won't," Cordelia replied simply and both knew it was true. "Nothing in   
the world could spoil this for him. He's finally gotten the woman he always loved and now you're even pregnant with his child. He'll never get tired of this."  
  
"Probably not," Buffy sighed happily and looked at herself in the mirror again.   
"I'll take it. It's terribly expensive and all, but I love it."  
  
"Good for you. It's the perfect dress for you," the brunette smiled genuinely.   
The dark-green, strapless, knee-length and body-shaped dress was just smashing.   
Angel would loose it. "And don't feel bad about the price, your fiancée wanted   
you to buy something nice for yourself and I have a feeling he can aford it."  
  
"Yeah," Buffy agreed looking at the diamond engagement ring she was wearing.   
Angel had bought it on Monday and she'd almost fainted seeing it. She didn't even want to know about the price.  
  
"That ring," Cordelia pointed at the blonde's finger, "is a rock."  
  
"Uh-huh," she said, then suddenly grinned wickedly, "well then," she shrugged,   
"don't you think you need a dress too. Just say it's some bonus for effective   
work."   
  
The brunette looked stunned for a moment, then began to smile, "If you put it   
that way," she replied while her eyes were already scanning the shop.  
  
*****  
  
"I still can't believe you bought Cordelia a dress as well," Angel shook his head and laughed as they passed the Sunnydale-sign.   
  
"You should have seen her eyes when we were walking into that shop. Cordy just   
loves clothes and I thought the way you feel about her - like the older brother - you wouldn't mind." She gave him a sweet smile and he reached out and took her   
hand.  
  
"I don't mind. Her eyes were shining like gems when she showed the bag to me. And you are right, I really feel as if I'm her older brother."  
  
Buffy saw a flicker of pain in his eyes but it was soon gone. She squeezed his   
hand and he flashed her a quick smile while pulling into the driveway   
of their house. The former slayer had her eyes closed against the sun and was   
thinking about her appointment with the dressmaker on Monday. They'd set the date for the wedding on Sunday in three weeks and she had to hurry to get everything ready. At the moment she was trying to decide which colour the bridesmaids should wear when she felt Angel squeezing her hand.   
  
Looking at him she saw him nod towards the entrance. She turned her head and saw   
a woman standing there. She was tall and willowy and was marching up and down,   
obviously waiting for somebody. Buffy raised a brow and gave Angel a questioning   
gaze when the dark haired woman suddenly looked up and waved towards someone.   
Only seconds later the door at Buffy's side of the car was pulled open and she   
came face to face with her fuming ex-husband.  
  
"Hi, Brent," she said frowning. What the hell ... She couldn't even finish the   
thought because he almost spit into her face.  
  
"Do you really think I'm going to leave *my* children with you and this, this,"   
his gaze flew to Angel, an expression of pure disgust on it, "this bloodsucker."  
  
*  
  
"Would you please calm down now," the former slayer stood in her living-room,   
her arms crossed in front of her chest and watched her ex-husband pacing,   
throwing his hands in the air from time to time, while Angel was in the   
kitchen preparing tea, accompanied by the dark-haired woman they'd seen in front   
of their door before who appeared to be Danielle.  
  
"Calm down!," he snorted and stopped his pacing. "How the hell would you react to the news that your children are living with a vampire." He lowered his voice   
because he'd never told his new girlfriend about that part of his past.  
  
"For the hundredth time, he isn't a vampire, not anymore that is and how did you   
find out at all?"   
  
"That's not the point here, is it? The point is that my two children are living   
under the same roof as a mass murderer."  
  
*  
  
"Do you prefer regular tea or green tea?," Angel asked looking into the cupboard. The question was directed towards Danielle who was sitting on a chair in the kitchen, studying her perfectly filed and red painted nails.   
  
"Sorry, what?," she looked up and smiled.  
  
"Nevermind," he replied and took a box containing some new Darjeeling. He'd just   
figured out that this woman didn't look like someone who'd know different kinds   
of teas.   
  
"You sure have a nice house," she commented, letting her gaze wander through the   
spacey kitchen. "Quite big."  
  
"Yeah. We like it." Intelligence didn't seem one the qualities Brent had looked   
for when he'd decided to date Danielle, Angel thought.  
  
"I never thought Brent's ex-wife would look like that. So, so ordinary."  
  
The former vampire winced inwardly. This woman had no idea what she was talking   
about. To use the word ordinary in connection with Buffy ... he shook his head   
and chuckled.   
  
"I mean ... hey, I didn't mean to offend you or ... her for that matter,"   
Danielle added quickly, thinking she'd said something horrible. "I'm sure she's   
nice and all."  
  
"She is," Angel agreed, the way he pronounced the words cleary telling how deeply he felt for his lover.  
  
"When I met Brent I couldn't understand that she let him go. He's so attractive," her eyes were full of admiration when she spoke and Angel had to suppress the urge to tell her that attractiveness was in the eyes of the beholder. When he turned around he was taken aback by the open display of lust in her eyes, and this time it wasn't directed towards her current boyfriend. Her eyes were roaming his body and with a hoarse, throaty voice, that was clearly seductive, she added, "But now, that I've met you, I can see the reason."  
  
*  
  
Buffy sighed and leaned against the doorframe, "Angel isn't a mass murderer.   
There was a demon in his body that ... hell, why am I trying to explain that to   
you. You already know the facts."  
  
"I still can't believe you slept with a vampire. He might be human now, but he   
clearly wasn't before," he looked at her as if he'd never seen her before. "Just   
to think that I touched you after ... after," he shook his head, "I wouldn't have gone near you at a mile's distance if I had known."  
  
"Oh really," she was smiling now. Knowingly. "I remember the first time we ...   
well ... you could hardly wait to get my clothes off. And anyway. Angel is human. When his demon killed people he wasn't in control. The Powers That Be thought he earned his reward. Do you really think you can judge him now?"  
  
"I'm not letting my children stay with him," he repeated his former demand   
stubbornly.  
  
"Your children love him," she shouted, getting angry now. "Ashlynn adores him.   
And do you know why? Because he's a wonderful man, because he loves her and is   
there for her. You are never there for her. In about three months you came once   
and never called. I think you're hardly in a position to judge Angel's qualities   
as a step-father for your children."  
  
"He has blood on his hands," Brent insisted.  
  
"You know that line is getting old. Just tell me what you intend to do and let's   
get over with."  
  
End Chapter 23  



	25. Never Take Things For Granted

Chapter 24: Never Take Things For Granted  
  
  
Brent stopped his pacing and looked at his ex-wife through narrowed eyes, "What   
I'm planning to do? You're not really that dumb, are you. You can certainly   
guess what's going through my head. I left my children with you because I thought they would prefer to live in their familiar surroundings, with their grandmother near by. But now," he shook his head and sat down on a loveseat, "honestly Buffy, you cannot be serious about this. Living with him, I mean."  
  
"Believe me, I am perfectly serious," she hissed through gritted teeth,   
desperately trying not to lose control at his annoying attitude, at times like   
these the slayer was close to the surface. "What sort of person are you? You   
don't even know Angel. How can you judge him?"  
  
"I don't need to know him, the fact that he's a vampire is all I need to know,"   
he replied.  
  
"For the last time, he is no vampire. Or how do you think he would've managed to   
drive in a convertible with the sun shining down on us? Besides there aren't any   
vampires on this earth anymore. You may remember that little incident called   
'closing the hellmouth forever'?!"  
  
"Don't go all slayer on me," he hissed, "I know this attitude and I can't stand   
it. This haughty 'I'm so much better than all you lower beings' isn't working   
with me. I've had all of your attitudes I could take."  
  
Buffy was speechless for a moment. "I never...," she began, but then decided this wasn't the subject she wanted to discuss, not with a man who wasn't even   
important anymore. "You still haven't told me how you heard about Angel?"  
  
"I had a business meeting last weekend and met an old byfriend of yours. You   
might remember him, Riley Finn."  
  
The former slayer gasped, "Riley!"  
  
"Oh yeah, Riley. You can't imagine how surprised he was that you were my ex-wife. I showed him pictures of the children and then told him you were living with an old flame of yours." He settled back in the chair, "He immediately became suspicious and when I told him your lover's name he told me all about your dirty little secret. He was really shocked that I allowed my children to live under the same roof than a killer."  
  
"And of course you believed a complete stranger, did you?"  
  
"He had no reason to lie."  
  
"Oh didn't he? How about the fact that he was always jealous of Angel? How about   
his inferior complex and ... oh that might be of interest for you, how about the   
fact that he paid vampire whores for sucking his blood?"  
  
Brent did a double take, "He what?"  
  
"Interesting piece of news, isn't it. And unexpected too, don't you think,"   
Buffy's eyes glittered dangerously when she stepped closer, her gaze never   
leaving her ex-husband's. "He was a demon hunter when I met him, working with   
this paramilitary-group. They were catching vampires and experimenting with them. Ask Spike if you don't believe me, he had some first-hand experience with them. And those people indoctrinated him. If it comes to vampires Riley's the most narrow-minded person on this planet. And you call that source reliable?"  
  
"I...," now it was Brent's turn to be speechless. The man he'd met the previous   
weekend had looked perfectly normal to him. But the idea of letting vampires suck your blood and paying for it? Brent shuddered in disgust. Still, it didn't change the facts. "But I still don't want Ashlynn and David to live with him," he nodded pointedly towards the kitchen and frowned. What the hell were Danielle and that person - oh, no he wasn't really a person, or was he? - so long?  
  
At that moment Angel entered the room, his eyes darting back and forth between   
Buffy and her ex-husband when he placed the tray on the table. Danielle followed   
him, seductively swaying her hips. "Tea anybody," he asked politely and realised   
that Brent was avoiding his gaze. Ah, he thought inwardly and sighed. This wasn't something he wanted to deal with, but then ... and although he wasn't a vampire anymore he hadn't been able to avoid listening to the conversation in the living-room, they'd been loud enough.  
  
"Hi honey," Danielle walked over to her boyfriend and sat down on the arm-rest   
beside him, putting an arm around his neck.   
  
Absentmindedly he flashed her a quick smile, "Do you understand?," he asked,   
looking at Buffy. "Either he goes or I'm going to fight you in court for   
custody."  
  
"What?," the former slayer felt her heart constricting. "No," she shook her head   
in shock. "You ... you can't do that. There's no reason, I already told you the   
children love Angel and ..."  
  
"Buffy," Angel put a gentle hand on her shoulder and when she looked up to him he gave her a smile. Then he sighed and turned towards Brent, "Maybe I should take over here."  
  
"I really don't care what you have to say," the other man hissed, completely   
forgetting about his girlfriend.  
  
"Too bad," the former vampire replied, his voice almost annoyingly neutral and   
polite, "but you will have to now. So you want to go to court and fight for   
custody. How?"  
  
"What do you mean how. I'm just taking a lawyer. I'm the father of these kids in   
case you have forgotten," Brent said, his voice rising.  
  
"*I'm* not the one forgetting about it," Angel sat down on the sofa and poured   
himself some tea. His hands were steady and his features calm. "Did you even know that you're son barely remembers you and that Ashlynn avoids looking at pictures of you because she's so hurt by your neglecting? No, of course not. How should you. You're too busy with your job. And now tell me, how do you think you get your children fitting into your new life?"  
  
"I will hire a baby-sitter or a nurse or whatever and there's Danielle too,"   
Brent replied coolly, not noticing that his girlfriend's eyes widened in shock.   
Angel on the other hand registered it immediately.  
  
"I see," he said over the rim of his cup. "And you think that's an alternative   
for living with their mother?"  
  
"I don't have anything against them living with their mother," the other man   
hissed again. "I don't want them living with you. If Buffy gets rid of you the   
whole thing is off."  
  
"Brent ...," Buffy began but was silenced by Angel's intense glance he sent her   
way.   
  
"That's not going to happen," the former vampire replied softly, but Brent   
recognised the dangerous glimmer in his eyes, he'd already seen the first time.   
"In fact Buffy and I are going to be married in three weeks," he informed the   
ex-husband casually.   
  
"M... marriage?," Brent almost choked on the word. "Are you mad?," he directed   
the question at his ex-wife.  
  
"Uh, honey," Danielle spoke for the first time.  
  
"What?," her boyfriend asked impatiently.  
  
"I just wanted to say that I have absolutely no idea how to deal with kids. I do   
love you, you know that, but children were never part of the deal," she   
pointedly looked at her manicured hands.  
  
Brent didn't reply to that, just glared at her for a moment, then turned back to   
his ex-wife's new lover. "Do you really want to risk Buffy losing the children   
because of you?," he asked, his voice containing an open threat.  
  
Oh God, the former slayer thought, oh God and her eyes flickered to Angel, the   
man who'd sacrificed his life for her, the man who had wanted her to kill him so   
his demon couldn't kill her friends. Would he leave her now? Would he do the   
noble thing? No, she said, she wouldn't let him. Not this time. She held her   
breath at his next words.  
  
"No, I don't want that," Angel said simply. "But it won't happen." He leaned back and watched Brent's face, "Tell me what exactly you want to say to the judge? Buffy is there for her kids, every day. She holds them when they cry, she feeds them, she buys clothes for them, she loves them and most importantly they know it. So how do you intend to argue?"  
  
Brent laughed, feeling utterly superior, "Do you really have to ask?"  
  
Now it was Angel's turn to laugh, and it sounded genuinely amused. Buffy raised a brow in surprise. He wasn't backing out, no he actually seemed to enjoy the   
situation. Try to understand men, she thought. No, rewind that, make that   
ex-vampires and the confusion was perfect.   
  
"Are you planning to use me? I want to see that, really I'm looking forward to   
it. Brent," Angel smiled, thanking all the gods in the universe for his years of   
experience of dealing with people like him, "you do not mind me calling you Brent, do you?" Not waiting for an answer he continued, "I'm going to marry your ex-wife in three weeks, I'm financially settled. I have several businesses running smoothly, I have friends who would gladly speak up for me." No need to tell him that these friends were former watchers, witches, werewolves or seers.   
  
"And you think that would count the moment the judge knows what you are ... or   
were?"  
  
"Honey, what are you talking about?," Danielle asked confused. Not really liking   
the subject she'd spent the time comparing her boyfriend with Buffy's future   
husband and come to the conclusion that the other woman had made the better deal.  
  
Angel flashed her a smile before he turned back to Brent, "And what do you think   
will happen when you tell the judge about my past? What do you think he'll do   
when you just tell him that your ex-wife's new husband was a vampire?"  
  
"Vampire? Honey, did he just say vampire?"  
  
"He will say the same thing as I. That you aren't fit to be with children," Brent insisted, ignoring his girlfriend.  
  
"Oh, you think so," Angel smiled coolly, "I would rather get used to the idea that he's going to lock you up. Safely and for a long time. Or did you forget the fact that most people are ignorant and tend to deny the existence of supernatural things. These days anyway. Or how do plan to prove your accusations to be true?"  
  
"Honey," Danielle whined, "I'm sure I heard him use the word vampire and ...,"  
  
"Shut up," Brent hissed at her and his girlfriend's mouth closed with a loud   
snap. He didn't want to deal with her right now. All he could do was glare at the other man and accept that he was right, as much as he hated to admit it. His eyes darted to this wife and he wanted to shout at the love and admiration shining from her eyes while they were watching her future husband.  
  
"Danielle, would you like some tea now?," Angel offered ignoring Brent for a   
moment, sensing what was going on inside the other man.  
  
The dark-haired woman flashed him an open smile, "Yes, thank you so much, Angel." She left her spot at Brent's side and moved to a sofa opposite from the   
ex-vampire. "Maybe he's still suffering from a minor jet-lag," she whispered,   
"he's usually a nice guy."  
  
Angel bit his cheek not to laugh out loud and handed Danielle her cup, while   
Buffy watched in amusement how Brent's girlfriend was flirting with her fiancée.  
  
"Brent, you too?," the former vampire asked.  
  
"No, thank you," the other man's voice sounded exactly the way Angel had expected it. Angry, disappointed, defeated. He had admitted to himself that this was a no win situation. Shooting his ex-wife and her fiancée hateful glances he stood and grabbed his girlfriend's arm, "Danielle, we're going."  
  
"But, Brent, Angel just got me that nice cup of tea...," she protested.  
  
"We're going," he hissed at her again and pulled her with him. "You'll hear from me," he promised while walking towards the door. "Tell the children I'll be in contact with them."  
  
"Sure," Buffy replied but he'd already slammed the door shut. She turned and   
looked at Angel with open amazement.  
  
He smiled, stood up and came over to her. Stroking her cheek with the tip of his   
forefinger, he asked, "Hey, are you okay?"  
  
"I ... I can't believe that really happened," a laugh escaped her mouth and she   
leaned her forehead against his chest, slowly encircling his waist. "I was   
expecting you to do the noble thing and let me go for the children's sake." He   
could feel a shiver running through her body.  
  
"No way," he put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up, "I'm not leaving you. Never again," he whispered and pulled her close.   
  
"You almost seemed to enjoy this," she she said in wonder and looked deeply into   
his eyes.   
  
"No, I didn't. But Brent didn't know that and that's what's important if you deal with people like him. He had to think we were extremely self-confident about this."  
  
"Is this all demon experience?," she asked curiously.  
  
"Only partly," he told her, kissing the tip of her nose. "Most of it comes from   
dealing with trash during my time in L.A. He's not the first husband threatening   
to take the kids away, you know."  
  
"I guess," she sighed and snuggled deeper into his embrace. "We probably should   
go and get the kids from mom," she said, not wanting to leave his arms, where she felt safe and protected.  
  
"We could call her," he suggested and a slight grin crossed his features. "She   
certainly won't mind having them for the night."  
  
Buffy had to grin as well, "You're a bad man, you know," she scolded playfully.  
  
"I know," he sighed dramatically, and she laughed out loud.  
  
"I'll call her."  
  
"And maybe you should tell her not to let the kids go with Brent today. I don't   
see him as the kidnapping-type, but he's really angry right now..."  
  
"Good idea," she agreed and went for the phone. When she returned five minutes   
later, she told him, "Mom knows about Brent and she's happy to keep the kids with her." She grinned mischievously, "And now, maybe I could show you how much I appreciate what you did today."  
  
End Chapter 24.  
  



	26. Expecting One, Getting Two

Chapter 25: Expecting One, Getting Two  
  
  
The red rose whispers of passion,  
And the white rose breathes of love;  
O, the red rose is a falcon,  
And the white rose is a dove.  
  
But I send you a cream-white rosebud,  
With a flush on its petal tips;  
For the love that is purest and sweetest  
Has a kiss of desire on the lips  
  
- "A White Rose" by John Boyle O'Reilly (Irish Poet 1844-1890)  
  
  
  
  
"This is lovely," Buffy rested her head on Angel's shoulder while they were   
sitting together on their sofa in the living-room. Ashlynn had fallen asleep on   
his other side only minutes ago, while David's head rested in his mother's lap.   
  
Angel put the book of poetry, he'd been holding, down and smiled at her, "Yes, it is. Do you feel better now?," he asked and gave her a concerned glance.   
  
"Much better," she replied with a smile of her own. "It wasn't that I was really   
feeling sick or so, just Brent made me so angry yesterday and although you   
distracted me last night, the anger still lingers under the surface. Maybe it's a slayer thing or an ex-slayer thing for that matter." She sighed, "Do you think he will try anything?"  
  
"I don't think so, but then you'll never know. But one thing is for certain, he   
won't succeed in a court. As I said yesterday, he can hardly go there and tell   
the judge, hey, I want my kids because my wife's living with an ex-vampire."  
  
"You know, Brent isn't that sort of guy actually. I don't know what Riley said to him, but it must have been bad to cause that kind of reaction." Maybe it would be nice to have Riley right in front of her now, to pummel him or hit him --- very hard. But then, she had to admit with an inward sigh, she wasn't the slayer anymore and for that her strength had gone. So, no such luck to torture Riley slowly and ...  
  
"Well, I never liked him," Angel interrupted her thoughts.   
  
"Yeah, you told me before," she replied and hid a grin thinking back to that   
special event. "And of course you weren't jealous at all when you told me that."  
  
"It was only one part of me disliking him. I don't usually develop sympathies   
for people who attack me without introducing themselves first."  
  
"In Riley's defence you have forgotten to mention the fact that you were a   
vampire at that point," she gave him a pointed look.   
  
"And?," he raised a brow and turned his head to look at her. "I wasn't running   
around to eat little commando boys alive."  
  
"Just put yourself in Riley's position for a moment..."  
  
"Do I have to?," he winced, but a smile was in his eyes.  
  
She playfully punched him his arm, "Angel! Well, anyway. Try to see things from   
his point of view. You're a demon hunter and you're basically human, trained and   
stuffed with drugs but still human, and on your patrol you meet a vampire. Would   
you ask for his name first?"  
  
"I might," now he grinned.  
  
"Yeah, sure," laughing she shook her head. "And then find out that said vampire   
has some connection to the girl you're ... er ... uhm ... that is...,"   
embarrassed she broke off.  
  
"Buffy," he cupped her face to make her look at him, "I know you and Riley were   
sleeping together." The grin suddenly returned, "Although I could hardly believe   
it then. What did you ever see in that guy anyway?" When he saw tears well up in   
her eyes he sobered instantly, "Hey," he said softly, "I fear that came out   
wrong. I didn't want to make you sad. I don't mind you sleeping with him."  
  
Seeing her raising a brow, he grimaced and amended, "No rewind that. That would   
take things too far. Of course I didn't like the fact you were with him, hell, I   
hated it, when I found out who he was I wanted to dismember him, slowly,   
painfully, but," he paused for a moment and looked deeply into her eyes, "I could hardly blame you for being with someone else after I'd left you. You found   
exactly what I wanted for you, someone normal or almost normal, human, who could   
take you into the sunlight and ease the darkness in your life. It was my problem   
to deal with the burning jealousy in my gut."  
  
"Burning jealousy, huh?," she smiled, the tears forgotten.   
  
"Hmmm," he replied, pulling her head closer for a kiss.  
  
Their lips only an inch apart she whispered, "Maybe we should get the children   
into their beds now."  
  
"And then what?," he asked, his eyes darkening with passion.  
  
She grinned, "You'll just have to wait and see."  
  
"I think I'd like that," he said and gently scooped Ashlynn in his arms.  
  
*****  
  
"I think that's a beautiful colour," Willow sighed flipping through the bridal   
magazines. She, Cordelia and Buffy were sitting in the dressmaker's studio and   
trying to decide on the dresses for the bride and the bridesmaids. Buffy had   
decided to wear a sort of ivory white and Mrs. Collier, the dressmaker, had   
congratulated her on the choice. The colour was much softer than the hard bright   
white, brides usually wore and the material, a combination of silk, satin and   
lace was pronouncing her body at the right places.  
  
"You really improved your taste," Cordelia complimented and nodded her head   
approvingly when Buffy held her arms out to model in front of the mirror. "That's a beautiful dress."  
  
Mrs. Collier glanced up from where she was pinning the dress and gave the   
brunette a quick smile. "Have you decided on the colour for the bridesmaids yet?   
I really need to know to make certain everything will be ready in three weeks."  
  
"Three weeks," the ex-slayer sighed happily. "Just tink about it. Only three more weeks and I'll be Angel's wife. I still feel like walking in a dream."  
  
Cordelia and Willow exchanged an amused glance before they continued flipping   
through the magazines. "I like that colour," the former mayqueen pointed at a   
pale sort of green."  
  
The red-head thought about it for a moment, then nodded approvingly, "Yeah,   
that's lovely. What do you think?," she took the magazine from Cordelia and held   
it up so that Buffy could see it.  
  
"I like it," she agreed. "We take that, what do you think Mrs. Collier?"  
  
"It's a good choice," she nodded, "It's a bit of a contrast to the bride's dress   
but not too much to make the eyes hurt. There's one thing though. The groom and   
the other men should wear black or dark blue then. No pale blue," she shuddered,   
"that would be bad."  
  
"We'll take care of it," Buffy promised and grinned, "I kinda like Angel in   
black."  
  
"Not really surprising, it was his favourite colour for a long time," Cordelia   
replied, "if you go hundreds of years in black it's kinda hard to break the   
tradition." Suddenly realising that they weren't alone, she amended, "Uhm ...   
that is ... I mean, I don't mean hundreds of years literally, but you get the   
feeling it has been so long. With the guy wearing the same colour all the time."   
Her concerned gaze was on Mrs. Collier, but the dressmaker was only grinning at   
her and then said.  
  
"I know what you mean, my husband has a thing for green and sometimes you think   
he hasn't changed at all over the years we know each other."  
  
The three women exchanged glances and grinned, the citizens of Sunnydale were as   
oblivious as ever.  
  
*****   
  
Dr. Barabara Greene smiled at the young couple sitting in front of her. She knew   
Buffy Summers or Davenport for some years now and had already delivered her first two children. She'd been happy then, but today in the company of her new   
life-partner she looked radiant and the way he looked at her ... she sighed   
inwardly, she would give a year's salary to have a man look at her that way.  
  
"Alright then, Buffy," Dr. Greene smiled, "would you please remove your clothes   
and ...," when she saw the ex-slayer smile, she laughed, "well, I believe you   
know the procedure. Just get ready for the ultrasound." She looked at Angel, "Mr. uh ... I don't think I remember your name?"  
  
"It's Angel. Just call me Angel."  
  
She nodded, "Fine, Angel. I suppose you want to watch?"  
  
"If it's okay," he said hesitantly.  
  
"Of course," she gave him a bright smile. "We encourage the expectant fathers to   
participate as much as possible in the pregnancy. The times when fathers were   
merely watching from a distance are fortunately over." She motioned Angel to   
follow her to the table where Buffy lay outstretched and now only wearing her bra and panties. "Okay then," she began, put gel on the ex-slayer's abdomen, and then began to move the ultrasound-probe over Buffy's skin.   
  
Angel followed everything fascinated and with awe and his future wife seeing the   
expression on his face fell in love with him deeper and harder than ever. How was it possible to feel so much happiness and not to burst?  
  
With one finger on the screen Barbara Greene began to explain, "See here, that's   
the baby's head," she said with a smile and Angel's eyes widened. He could do   
nothing but stare on the monitor where he saw the child, his' and Buffy's, it   
wasn't even eight weeks old and yet it was perfect.   
  
"And here you can see the legs," she pointed at the screen again and Angel had to admit that he wouldn't have recognized one single thing without her help.   
Ultrasound seemed to be a tricky business and his admiration for doctors grew.   
"At this early state of pregnancy it's not always possible to find a heartbeat,   
but that's perfectly normal and ... oh ... oh," she stared at the screen for a   
moment, then turned to Buffy and Angel. The smile on her face was a bit   
surprised, "Well, it seems you're going to have twins."  
  
"Twins?," ex-slayer and -vampire asked incredulously.  
  
"Uh-huh?," she nodded on a laugh. "Definitely. Here see," she pointed at the   
second head that was now visible behind the first."  
  
"Twins," Angel repeated and this time in awe. He reached out and took Buffy's   
hand. "Just imagine," he breathed.  
  
"Oh, Angel," Buffy was on the edge of tears again. Inwardly she shook her head   
over herself. It had to be a side-effect of her pregnancy, she decided. Or maybe   
it was the way the man she loved looked alternatively at her or the screen where   
Dr. Greene now tried to get a better look of the second baby.   
  
"That one is shy," she smiled. "Doesn't want to show." With a shake she finished   
her session and handed Buffy some tissues to clean herself off. "This is   
certainly a surprise but from the looks on your faces it's a pleasant one."  
  
"Yes, definitely," Buffy assured her.  
  
"Oh yes," Angel agreed. "It's a wonderful surprise."  
  
"Good," Dr. Greene opened a drawer and pulled out some sheets to hand them to the expectant father, while Buffy was busy putting her clothes back on. "I know Buffy is an old pro when it comes to pregnancies, but a twin-pregnancy is special and can cause problems." Hearing the expectant parents gasp, she hasted to continue, "But not regularly. We're only taking more precautions. Twin pregnancies tend to end early. Most twins are delivered during the eighth month, mainly because there isn't enough room for them anymore. But Buffy is young and healthy, there have been no problem with her first two children and I don't expect any now. I just want you to read this information so you know what could come your way." She gave them an encouraging smile.   
  
"But having twins doesn't mean you have to be especially careful," she went on,   
"you can behave the same way you did during the last two times." She flipped   
through her time-planer. "But we will monitor the pregnancy more closely   
especially as the second twin was so reluctant to show himself today."  
  
"How often do I have to come," Buffy wanted to know.  
  
"I'd like to see you every two weeks for a start and when everything is fine   
after the end of the 12th week we can stretch it to four weeks," the doctor   
replied, then told her the date for the next appointment.  
  
The former slayer thought about it for a moment, "Okay, that's okay. Then the   
appointment after that will be ... uh ... a week after our wedding. We'll be back then."  
  
Barbara Greene looked up, "When will the wedding take place?"  
  
"Sunday in three weeks," Angel told her. "If you'd like to come we would be   
pleased."  
  
"Thank you," she nodded, "I'd like to do that. Including the twins it's the   
fourth baby I'm involved with regarding Buffy. Will you go on a honeymoon?"  
  
"Yes," Buffy answered and smiled, "A week to Hawaii." She sighed happily and Dr.   
Greene had to chuckle.   
  
"It is okay for her to fly?," the former vampire asked, suddenly concerned.  
  
"Sure," the doctor assured him. "No problem. But I will give you the address of a collegue of mine who lives on the main island. Just in case. Alright then, see   
you again in two weeks."   
  
*  
  
"I can't believe this," Angel held Buffy in the circle of his arms. They were   
standing in the parking-space of the hospital and he was inhaling the scent of   
her shampoo. The smell sent pleasant shivers through his body. "Twins," his voice was full of awe.  
  
"Isn't it wonderful. I can hardly wait to tell mom and our friends. And Ashlynn   
of course." She chuckled, "now she's going to insist that at least one of the   
babies has to be a girl."  
  
"Probably," he agreed. One of his hands moved down and came to lay on her   
abdomen, "Hi you both. Mommy and daddy love you very much."  
  
"Let's go home, Angel," she said and pulled back. "And then let's get the kids   
from mom. And then let's celebrate. I have suddenly a major craving for   
ice-cream."  
  
He laughed when he opened the door for her. It felt great to be alive!  
  
End Chapter 25.  



	27. Expecting One, Getting Two

Chapter 25: Expecting One, Getting Two  
  
  
The red rose whispers of passion,  
And the white rose breathes of love;  
O, the red rose is a falcon,  
And the white rose is a dove.  
  
But I send you a cream-white rosebud,  
With a flush on its petal tips;  
For the love that is purest and sweetest  
Has a kiss of desire on the lips  
  
- "A White Rose" by John Boyle O'Reilly (Irish Poet 1844-1890)  
  
  
  
  
"This is lovely," Buffy rested her head on Angel's shoulder while they were   
sitting together on their sofa in the living-room. Ashlynn had fallen asleep on   
his other side only minutes ago, while David's head rested in his mother's lap.   
  
Angel put the book of poetry, he'd been holding, down and smiled at her, "Yes, it is. Do you feel better now?," he asked and gave her a concerned glance.   
  
"Much better," she replied with a smile of her own. "It wasn't that I was really   
feeling sick or so, just Brent made me so angry yesterday and although you   
distracted me last night, the anger still lingers under the surface. Maybe it's a slayer thing or an ex-slayer thing for that matter." She sighed, "Do you think he will try anything?"  
  
"I don't think so, but then you'll never know. But one thing is for certain, he   
won't succeed in a court. As I said yesterday, he can hardly go there and tell   
the judge, hey, I want my kids because my wife's living with an ex-vampire."  
  
"You know, Brent isn't that sort of guy actually. I don't know what Riley said to him, but it must have been bad to cause that kind of reaction." Maybe it would be nice to have Riley right in front of her now, to pummel him or hit him --- very hard. But then, she had to admit with an inward sigh, she wasn't the slayer anymore and for that her strength had gone. So, no such luck to torture Riley slowly and ...  
  
"Well, I never liked him," Angel interrupted her thoughts.   
  
"Yeah, you told me before," she replied and hid a grin thinking back to that   
special event. "And of course you weren't jealous at all when you told me that."  
  
"It was only one part of me disliking him. I don't usually develop sympathies   
for people who attack me without introducing themselves first."  
  
"In Riley's defence you have forgotten to mention the fact that you were a   
vampire at that point," she gave him a pointed look.   
  
"And?," he raised a brow and turned his head to look at her. "I wasn't running   
around to eat little commando boys alive."  
  
"Just put yourself in Riley's position for a moment..."  
  
"Do I have to?," he winced, but a smile was in his eyes.  
  
She playfully punched him his arm, "Angel! Well, anyway. Try to see things from   
his point of view. You're a demon hunter and you're basically human, trained and   
stuffed with drugs but still human, and on your patrol you meet a vampire. Would   
you ask for his name first?"  
  
"I might," now he grinned.  
  
"Yeah, sure," laughing she shook her head. "And then find out that said vampire   
has some connection to the girl you're ... er ... uhm ... that is...,"   
embarrassed she broke off.  
  
"Buffy," he cupped her face to make her look at him, "I know you and Riley were   
sleeping together." The grin suddenly returned, "Although I could hardly believe   
it then. What did you ever see in that guy anyway?" When he saw tears well up in   
her eyes he sobered instantly, "Hey," he said softly, "I fear that came out   
wrong. I didn't want to make you sad. I don't mind you sleeping with him."  
  
Seeing her raising a brow, he grimaced and amended, "No rewind that. That would   
take things too far. Of course I didn't like the fact you were with him, hell, I   
hated it, when I found out who he was I wanted to dismember him, slowly,   
painfully, but," he paused for a moment and looked deeply into her eyes, "I could hardly blame you for being with someone else after I'd left you. You found   
exactly what I wanted for you, someone normal or almost normal, human, who could   
take you into the sunlight and ease the darkness in your life. It was my problem   
to deal with the burning jealousy in my gut."  
  
"Burning jealousy, huh?," she smiled, the tears forgotten.   
  
"Hmmm," he replied, pulling her head closer for a kiss.  
  
Their lips only an inch apart she whispered, "Maybe we should get the children   
into their beds now."  
  
"And then what?," he asked, his eyes darkening with passion.  
  
She grinned, "You'll just have to wait and see."  
  
"I think I'd like that," he said and gently scooped Ashlynn in his arms.  
  
*****  
  
"I think that's a beautiful colour," Willow sighed flipping through the bridal   
magazines. She, Cordelia and Buffy were sitting in the dressmaker's studio and   
trying to decide on the dresses for the bride and the bridesmaids. Buffy had   
decided to wear a sort of ivory white and Mrs. Collier, the dressmaker, had   
congratulated her on the choice. The colour was much softer than the hard bright   
white, brides usually wore and the material, a combination of silk, satin and   
lace was pronouncing her body at the right places.  
  
"You really improved your taste," Cordelia complimented and nodded her head   
approvingly when Buffy held her arms out to model in front of the mirror. "That's a beautiful dress."  
  
Mrs. Collier glanced up from where she was pinning the dress and gave the   
brunette a quick smile. "Have you decided on the colour for the bridesmaids yet?   
I really need to know to make certain everything will be ready in three weeks."  
  
"Three weeks," the ex-slayer sighed happily. "Just tink about it. Only three more weeks and I'll be Angel's wife. I still feel like walking in a dream."  
  
Cordelia and Willow exchanged an amused glance before they continued flipping   
through the magazines. "I like that colour," the former mayqueen pointed at a   
pale sort of green."  
  
The red-head thought about it for a moment, then nodded approvingly, "Yeah,   
that's lovely. What do you think?," she took the magazine from Cordelia and held   
it up so that Buffy could see it.  
  
"I like it," she agreed. "We take that, what do you think Mrs. Collier?"  
  
"It's a good choice," she nodded, "It's a bit of a contrast to the bride's dress   
but not too much to make the eyes hurt. There's one thing though. The groom and   
the other men should wear black or dark blue then. No pale blue," she shuddered,   
"that would be bad."  
  
"We'll take care of it," Buffy promised and grinned, "I kinda like Angel in   
black."  
  
"Not really surprising, it was his favourite colour for a long time," Cordelia   
replied, "if you go hundreds of years in black it's kinda hard to break the   
tradition." Suddenly realising that they weren't alone, she amended, "Uhm ...   
that is ... I mean, I don't mean hundreds of years literally, but you get the   
feeling it has been so long. With the guy wearing the same colour all the time."   
Her concerned gaze was on Mrs. Collier, but the dressmaker was only grinning at   
her and then said.  
  
"I know what you mean, my husband has a thing for green and sometimes you think   
he hasn't changed at all over the years we know each other."  
  
The three women exchanged glances and grinned, the citizens of Sunnydale were as   
oblivious as ever.  
  
*****   
  
Dr. Barabara Greene smiled at the young couple sitting in front of her. She knew   
Buffy Summers or Davenport for some years now and had already delivered her first two children. She'd been happy then, but today in the company of her new   
life-partner she looked radiant and the way he looked at her ... she sighed   
inwardly, she would give a year's salary to have a man look at her that way.  
  
"Alright then, Buffy," Dr. Greene smiled, "would you please remove your clothes   
and ...," when she saw the ex-slayer smile, she laughed, "well, I believe you   
know the procedure. Just get ready for the ultrasound." She looked at Angel, "Mr. uh ... I don't think I remember your name?"  
  
"It's Angel. Just call me Angel."  
  
She nodded, "Fine, Angel. I suppose you want to watch?"  
  
"If it's okay," he said hesitantly.  
  
"Of course," she gave him a bright smile. "We encourage the expectant fathers to   
participate as much as possible in the pregnancy. The times when fathers were   
merely watching from a distance are fortunately over." She motioned Angel to   
follow her to the table where Buffy lay outstretched and now only wearing her bra and panties. "Okay then," she began, put gel on the ex-slayer's abdomen, and then began to move the ultrasound-probe over Buffy's skin.   
  
Angel followed everything fascinated and with awe and his future wife seeing the   
expression on his face fell in love with him deeper and harder than ever. How was it possible to feel so much happiness and not to burst?  
  
With one finger on the screen Barbara Greene began to explain, "See here, that's   
the baby's head," she said with a smile and Angel's eyes widened. He could do   
nothing but stare on the monitor where he saw the child, his' and Buffy's, it   
wasn't even eight weeks old and yet it was perfect.   
  
"And here you can see the legs," she pointed at the screen again and Angel had to admit that he wouldn't have recognized one single thing without her help.   
Ultrasound seemed to be a tricky business and his admiration for doctors grew.   
"At this early state of pregnancy it's not always possible to find a heartbeat,   
but that's perfectly normal and ... oh ... oh," she stared at the screen for a   
moment, then turned to Buffy and Angel. The smile on her face was a bit   
surprised, "Well, it seems you're going to have twins."  
  
"Twins?," ex-slayer and -vampire asked incredulously.  
  
"Uh-huh?," she nodded on a laugh. "Definitely. Here see," she pointed at the   
second head that was now visible behind the first."  
  
"Twins," Angel repeated and this time in awe. He reached out and took Buffy's   
hand. "Just imagine," he breathed.  
  
"Oh, Angel," Buffy was on the edge of tears again. Inwardly she shook her head   
over herself. It had to be a side-effect of her pregnancy, she decided. Or maybe   
it was the way the man she loved looked alternatively at her or the screen where   
Dr. Greene now tried to get a better look of the second baby.   
  
"That one is shy," she smiled. "Doesn't want to show." With a shake she finished   
her session and handed Buffy some tissues to clean herself off. "This is   
certainly a surprise but from the looks on your faces it's a pleasant one."  
  
"Yes, definitely," Buffy assured her.  
  
"Oh yes," Angel agreed. "It's a wonderful surprise."  
  
"Good," Dr. Greene opened a drawer and pulled out some sheets to hand them to the expectant father, while Buffy was busy putting her clothes back on. "I know Buffy is an old pro when it comes to pregnancies, but a twin-pregnancy is special and can cause problems." Hearing the expectant parents gasp, she hasted to continue, "But not regularly. We're only taking more precautions. Twin pregnancies tend to end early. Most twins are delivered during the eighth month, mainly because there isn't enough room for them anymore. But Buffy is young and healthy, there have been no problem with her first two children and I don't expect any now. I just want you to read this information so you know what could come your way." She gave them an encouraging smile.   
  
"But having twins doesn't mean you have to be especially careful," she went on,   
"you can behave the same way you did during the last two times." She flipped   
through her time-planer. "But we will monitor the pregnancy more closely   
especially as the second twin was so reluctant to show himself today."  
  
"How often do I have to come," Buffy wanted to know.  
  
"I'd like to see you every two weeks for a start and when everything is fine   
after the end of the 12th week we can stretch it to four weeks," the doctor   
replied, then told her the date for the next appointment.  
  
The former slayer thought about it for a moment, "Okay, that's okay. Then the   
appointment after that will be ... uh ... a week after our wedding. We'll be back then."  
  
Barbara Greene looked up, "When will the wedding take place?"  
  
"Sunday in three weeks," Angel told her. "If you'd like to come we would be   
pleased."  
  
"Thank you," she nodded, "I'd like to do that. Including the twins it's the   
fourth baby I'm involved with regarding Buffy. Will you go on a honeymoon?"  
  
"Yes," Buffy answered and smiled, "A week to Hawaii." She sighed happily and Dr.   
Greene had to chuckle.   
  
"It is okay for her to fly?," the former vampire asked, suddenly concerned.  
  
"Sure," the doctor assured him. "No problem. But I will give you the address of a collegue of mine who lives on the main island. Just in case. Alright then, see   
you again in two weeks."   
  
*  
  
"I can't believe this," Angel held Buffy in the circle of his arms. They were   
standing in the parking-space of the hospital and he was inhaling the scent of   
her shampoo. The smell sent pleasant shivers through his body. "Twins," his voice was full of awe.  
  
"Isn't it wonderful. I can hardly wait to tell mom and our friends. And Ashlynn   
of course." She chuckled, "now she's going to insist that at least one of the   
babies has to be a girl."  
  
"Probably," he agreed. One of his hands moved down and came to lay on her   
abdomen, "Hi you both. Mommy and daddy love you very much."  
  
"Let's go home, Angel," she said and pulled back. "And then let's get the kids   
from mom. And then let's celebrate. I have suddenly a major craving for   
ice-cream."  
  
He laughed when he opened the door for her. It felt great to be alive!  
  
End Chapter 25.  



	28. Epilogue: Happily Ever After?

  
Epilogue: Happily Ever After  
  
  
"I cannot believe this is really happening," Buffy sighed and snuggled deeper   
into her husband's embrace. They were standing on the roof of the Hyperion hotel   
and looking down at the city lights shining in the darkness. "This day is almost   
unreal."  
  
"Yeah," he whispered into her ear while they were swaying to the music that was   
sounding up the stairs. Their friends in the lobby of the hotel were dancing to   
some soft tune, Willow had chosen. Ten minutes ago, Buffy and Angel had tiptoed   
away from the crowd to be alone together for a moment.  
  
The day had been hectic at least. The day before the whole family and friends had gone to L.A., where besides the expected ones also Giles had waited for them. Angel had arranged for him to join them as a special surprise for Buffy, knowing that she longed for him to lead her down the aisle.   
  
Angel had stayed with Wesley for the night, following the old custom not to sleep under the same roof as your bride the night before the wedding and Buffy had missed him dearly.  
  
In the morning Cordelia and Willow had stormed her room and kept her busy with   
make-up, hair, clothes while her mother was fussing around her and Ashlynn was   
giggling most of the time. Buffy had released a breath of relief when the actual   
ceremony had finally started and Giles had come to her room to get her.   
  
The rest of the wedding was more a blur for her. All she could remember were   
Angel's face and his eyes looking at her with so much love in them when she   
walked towards him. She remembered sniffing from all sides, but hadn't paid   
attention who was crying and who not, because she hadn't been able to tear her   
eyes away from her lover's face.   
  
They'd spoken their vows and then his lips were on hers and they were running out of the church where their friends had been waiting. To Buffy's amazement Angel seemed to have gained a lot of friends during his work in L.A. There was a police lady, she could remember from a short encounter years ago, lots of young people who seemed close to Gunn and some rich software-producer who behaved quite oddly but who seemed to enjoy the company of the others.  
  
Gunn, Cordelia, Willow and Xander had been riding back to the hotel with them for the reception and now they were alone for the first time that day.  
  
When Angel chuckled slightly, she looked up to him, "What?," there was a smile on her face.  
  
"Just thinking," he lowered his head and softly kissed her mouth. "Not in may   
wildest dreams I ever thought to see Spike in a church."  
  
"That's what weddings do to you. We met again on a wedding and now it ends with   
one," Buffy said on a sigh. "It's turning full circle."  
  
"Yeah," he whispered, tightening his embrace. "Maybe it does. I met you in a dark alley and you kicked my ass, now we're standing here looking down at the city lights. I was a vampire then and you a slayer, mortal enemies, and still we fell in love. Now we're both human and going to have twins plus the two wonderful children you already have."  
  
"Oh Angel," she sniffed, "you're making me cry and all my make-up is going to be   
ruined. Cordy's going to kill me, the party isn't even over yet. I still have to   
throw the bouquet and you need to get rid of my garter."  
  
He laughed softly, "I was thinking about throwing it into Wesley's direction."  
  
She laughed too, "You think like giving him a hint. I wonder if he's even   
realised the way Kathrina looks at him."  
  
"Probably not. Women aren't exactly his best territory."  
  
"No. Certainly not," she agreed. "Do you remember when he lusted after Cordy and   
Xander was so jealous but pretended not to be."  
  
"No," he replied.  
  
"Oh, right," she kissed his jaw, "you weren't actually around all the time then.   
It was when I got the aspect of the demon, the mind-reading-thing."  
  
"I remember. You came to read mine too."  
  
She blushed slightly, "Yeah. Anyway. Xander couldn't think anything besides sex.   
The hormonal overdriven teenager. Cordelia was flirting with Wesley and it drove   
him mad. Who would've thought that Xander would marry an ex-demon and have two   
kids."  
  
"We all went a long way to get here, didn't we? But it's worth it, don't you   
think?"  
  
"Yeah, definitely worth it. I love you, Angel. Maybe everything, all the pain,   
and the occasional happiness," she winced slightly at that word, but he didn't   
look as if he minded the unintended reference. "Maybe it was meant to happen this way. Maybe we both needed that time to grow and realise how precious it is what we have."  
  
"I like your way of thinking," he smiled. "Destined to be together. Why not?   
After all I read so much about destinies and prophecies I think everything is   
possible. But whatever made this possible, it's now up to us to make it work."  
  
"We will," she said firmly. "This will work. I'm not going to let you go away   
again."  
  
"Neither will I. I love you Buffy. This is forever."  
  
"Yes, forever."  
  
When the last tunes of the song faded their lips sealed the promise.  
  
END  
  
I hope you liked reading it! Tell me what you think!  



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